Table of Contents
Page 28 - Alternate Resurrection
Page 35 - "The Book of Chances"
Page 42 - The Evolutionary Classifieds
Page 49 - The "Official Church Leaders" Page
Page 56 - Letters to the Editor
Page 77 - Contact the fools - How you ca contact the us
Alternate Resurrection Theory
of the Month
Theory #347 - The "X"
Factor
First, the scriptural data...
The following words appear the listed number of times in the
bible:
heaven = 404
heavens = 167
up = 1,798
above = 143
star = 15
stars = 54
moon = 60
moons = 7
space = 10
ship = 26
fly = 14
flies = 13
Alien = 70
Aliens = 32
It is clear that Jesus was not really a man from Nazareth, but an alien from outer space!
It is the ONLY logical explanation for such an extraordinary event when taken in context of the above words listed in the bible.
Jesus was sent here to help the human race, just like in the movie, 'The Day The Earth Stood Still.'
But there was one problem, he didn't have a robot companion to help him out. You know, like the one in 'Lost In Space.'
This robot would have announced, "Warning, warning Jesus Christ! Danger! Danger! Pharisees approaching! Pharisees approaching!"
But alas, Jesus didn't have this early-warning protection system and was caught by the evil human race.
Jesus was killed and buried, but then something very odd happened - his body disappeared only to reappear later . . . alive!
Now it is obvious that aliens from the mother ship, which came from the mother planet (not to be confused with mother earth) came and administered their vastly superior, technically advanced medical technology on Jesus and revived him.
And it is also obvious that these aliens are what are referred to as "angels".
Notice the similarities:
angels / aliens
They both share these letters: a, n, l, e, s
And they both have only one letter each not in common: g &
i
This is not coincidence my friend!
Did you notice that you can rearrange the similar letters to spell out "nales"?
Doesn't this sound just like "nails"?
What was Jesus nailed to he cross with?
This is not a coincidence either.
Now let's look at the two letters not in common - gi
The following is from the American Heritage Dictionary:
GI1 (jT2h2) n., pl. GIs or GI's.
1. An enlisted person in or a veteran of any of the U.S. armed
forces, especially a person enlisted in the army.
Is it becoming clear?
Obviously angels are in fact aliens with a military purpose.
And we killed their leader!
It's going to be hell to pay for this, I'm sure.
Now, let's look at the resurrection account in the book of Matthew:
Matt. 28:2 There was a violent
earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and,
going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it.
Matt. 28:3 His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes
were white as snow.
1) The "violent earthquake" obviously is from the force of the landing space craft.
2) An angel (alien) appeared.
3) It came down from heaven.
4) His "appearance like lightning" must have been an energy transfer from the space craft.
5) "Clothes as white as snow" is obviously a space suit.
Well, the evidence is right here. It points to Jesus being an alien and other aliens brought him back to life.
If you can't accept this, just tell yourself - "I want to believe."
You are of this world; I am not of this world.
