Table of Contents
Page 28 - Alternate Resurrection
Page 35 - "The Book of Chances"
Page 42 - The Evolutionary Classifieds
Page 49 - The "Official Church Leaders" Page
Page 56 - Letters to the Editor
Page 77 - Contact the fools - How you ca contact the us
Welcome Brethren of Church Leaders
Hail to our founder!
Hail Constantine!
Take a moment to recover from that abysmal propaganda/entry page used to control our blind-fool flock of believers, because I will need your full and complete attention!
First, the monthly report . . .
We barely pulled off that "election" thing in Florida, USA, but is it ever paying off!
I have already given G. W. and the Pope their orders for this month. (By the way, I have already dealt with Pope about his little snafu last month. He knows that if he makes one more mistake that he will be 'excommunicated' - if you know what I mean!?)
As you all know, church attendance (and our monetary income) has been down in the last few years, so we have been forced to take drastic measures.
I am going to change the biblical definition of the word "tithe" from 10% to 100%. I figure that these blind fools will never notice the extra zero.
At first, this definition change will only affect their 'net' income. But about a year later, I will change it to include their 'gross' income as we will have complete control of all governments by then anyway.
Now, the good news...
The more I learn about our great founder Constantine, the more I am amazed and in awe of his sheer super-human brilliance!
Not only did he plant the hundreds of thousands of biblical manuscripts and early church letters in different languages across the different countries within a relatively short period of time, (as well as burn down all the opposing libraries of that time), but archaeology is discovering something new!
Apparently Constantine foresaw the possibility of our little 'dip' in attendance about 1700 years ago and made plans accordingly. Man! If this doesn't show what 'proactive' is, I don't know what does!
Constantine had some "fake" stone coffins made that have certain inscriptions on them. He buried them knowing that many hundreds of years later they would be dug up and further buttress our grand scheme.
The inscriptions include some that claim that our Jesus mascot is the supposed "redeemer" and "Lord" of his people.
There are also crosses inscribed on them. He even had some inscribed with other names that are mentioned in the 'scriptures.'
And the amazing part is is that all scholars agree that these coffins and tombs date back to the 1st century!
I now order you to go to the following web-sites to learn all you can about these coffins.
If you're going to sell it - you have to know it!
Now, get to it . . .
Hail Constantine!