Letters to the Editor


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Issue II

Letters Policy:

Basically the only thing we have to officially say is this, "Your letter may be directed to another member of the staff, rather than I, the Editor in Chief, answering it. This is done to insure that you get the most highly qualified answer that we can possibly give.

Also, sometimes I am on vacation every week or so.

And I, the Editor in Chief, reserve the right to edit all letters posted. Sometimes the "colorful" language has to be omitted because it it causes nice elderly church ladies thump their Bibles too hard. And with their fragile and delicate fingers, this causes considerable pain. And since we love and respect them dearly, we choose to save them from such pain so that they can continue to bake us cookies."

Your's truly,

The Editor in Chief.

Letter 1:

Why did you guys start this publication? And why use humor?

Sincerely,

a non-visitor.

Dear non-visitor,

After looking at the world around us, we decided that there was something terribly wrong - that there is not enough entertainment in our society.

And this entertainment deprivation is ruining our children!

We have seen research that kids are getting more and more bored quicker and quicker. We have to keep up with the demand if we are going to save them.

And we hope that this publication will start a new trend in America (and possibly the world?) of targeting entertainment mostly toward the children.

Because they need escape from the reality of this cold cruel world.

And as my old Grandpappy, Alf A. Mael, used to say, "If you can't beat them over the head with a Bible, slap them in the face with humor and knee them in the groin with sarcasm."

However, I am old Grandpappy's only convert.

And I still walk with a limp.

But I'm saved!

Praise Jesus.

Hope this helps,

Editor in Chief

Letter 2:

I followed a link I had just randomly uploaded to sackcloth and ashes, and
accidentally arrived at your site. While there, I chanced to read some
stuff which by pure luck, I found quite amusing. Of course, all of this
means nothing, it's just that I evolved that response to that sort of
stimuli, never the less, it is likely to increase the frequency and the
duration of my visits to your site.

Having no idea at all why I wrote this,

Beanfarmer

P.S. - Who are you guys? How many are there (of you) and how high is your therapy bill?

My dear Mr. Bean,

Stop trying to figure out why you wrote this, or anything else for that matter.

You see, your brain is merely molecules randonmly fused by random chances which were kick-started billions of years ago by a chance big-bang event.

And the events which you seek to make sense of are just links in a chain, which are soley dictated by the links before them, and so on, and so on, all the way back to said big-bang which had no reason what-so-ever for happening.

And that, my friend, is the meaning of life.

Hope this helps your confusion,

Ediror in Chief

Response to P.S. - We are a small group of individuals whose number here at the institute fluctuates depending on the soy-bean market. However, all of these individuals inhabit just one body - mine (the Editor in Chief).

And as for the cost of therapy, it is $21.95 per month for unlimited internet access.