Page 1a - Frank B. Finite (a "true" atheist)

 

Page 1b - Amazing Transitional Fossils

 

Page 1c - Andy Akers (ag-nostic)

 

Page 1d - Alternate Resurrection Theory of the Month

 

Page 1e - Ask Miko

 

Page 1f - Your Evological Horrorscope

 

Page 1g - The Book of Chances

 

Page 1h - Word of the Month

 

Page 1j - An Internal Memo

 

Page 1k - The Evolutionary Classifieds

 

Page 1kk - Letters to the Editor

 

Page 1m - Who Are We?

 

Page 63 - The Real Story

 

Page 70 - Past Issues

 

Page 77 - Contact the fools

From: The Editor in Chief

 

Subject: using the institute's internet service

It has come to my attention, the Editor in Chief, that someone in the office has been using the institute's internet service for personal use.

This is not allowed and must be stopped immediately!

Anyone caught doing this again will have their mandatory tithe payment doubled for a whole year.

We uncovered the fact that someone has been using the service to frequent chat rooms, which is obviously not beneficial for this publication.

In fact, we have a copy of the latest chat session.

In the spirit of envoronmentalism, pollution, global warming, etc., we decided not to throw away the chat session, but rather, recycle it.

Also, we needed to fill some space.

So we are going to post the session here.

The names have been edited to protect the guilty. And all of the irrelevant chat has been discarded (don't worry - all of that verbage will be thrown into a receptical and used for a later issue).

So, here it is for what it's worth . . .

 


You have just entered room "Life - Beliefs Atheism"

 

BlindFools: Hello all of my fellow highly-evolved amoebas.

JQA: Hi Blind

BlindFools: Are your bodies successfully surviving today?

PF
: Yes indeed, Blind.

HS: I resent that remark, blind! i'm a highly evolved paramecium!

HS: get it right!

PF: My pathetic pointless existance is proceeding nicely, how bout yours?

BlindFools: PF: that is functional.
BlindFools: PF: No, not pointless...
BlindFools: PF: Must keep surviving.
BlindFools: PF: Get better at it.

PF: Yes indeed, gotta pass on them genes.
PF: Passing on gene's is great fun. ;)

BlindFools: PF: Yes, but don't think about the passing of genes, just follow your urges.
BlindFools: PF: because...
BlindFools: PF: who really cares what happens after we die anyway.

CDS: Blind, please, talk for yourself.

HS: <---is always interested in passing genes on...

BlindFools: CDS: I was actually, but who are you? You an atheist?

CDS: Blind, oh, nevermind. I misunderstood.

BlindFools: CDS: If you are an atheist, I speak for you too.

CDS: Blind, thanks. I am and I'm perfectly happy speaking for myself.

BlindFools: CDS: But you haven't said anything.

CDS: Blind, I'm resting. :-)

PF: Anyway, so what brings you here, Blind?

BlindFools: PF: Trying to keep atheism on the right track, and you?

PF: I'm staying up cause I can't sleep.

HS: blind? what is the right track?
HS: and which train is on it?

BlindFools: CDS: "d***" is a religious term, please don't use in here.

CDS: Blind, only if you intend it in that way. It has other uses.

BlindFools: CDS: Then what does damn mean?

CDS: Blind, if can be used as an explitive for one.

CBD: Blind, uhh, you on word patrol tonight?
CBD: Blind, let you be Anathema!
CBD: :::Snicker:::

PF: "We're gonna do things my way, or we won't do things at all!"

BlindFools: PF: Nope, my way, I am more fit.

HS: blind...this is an areligious room. your religion means nothing in here.

BlindFools: HS: nope, atheism is non-religious.

HS: not that that says "areligious," not "a religious"

BlindFools: HS: keep the religious terms out of here.

HS: blind? you're high.

BlindFools: HS: you have no evidence of that, do you believe in things which have no evide
BlindFools: HS: nce?

HS: blind :::click::::

BlindFools: HS: <-- chose flight instead of fight - weak.

BlindFools: CBD: Your ignorance and immaturity shows.

CBD: Blind, Imake a Point of IT!

CDS: All this time without a fundy and now we get an Atheist fundy. Sheesh!

BlindFools: CBD: You use religious terms do you not?

CBD: well Blind, thank GOD i Don't have to worry about your opinion of me for my self esteem

CBD: Blind, only to get on your weak minded case

BlindFools: CBD: We are merely flesh bags of chemicals - there is no self esteem.

PF: :points at Blind: SMITE!

CBD: Blind, you are merely a flesh bag of chemicals

CBD: I am trapped radiant light

BlindFools: CBD: Self esteem is an illusion of the brain.

PF: :points at Heathens: SMITE! Darn, it isn't working....

BlindFools: PF: almost funny

CBD: Blind, put away that Fine hair splitting devise and jsut chat with us
CBD: simple atheists

BlindFools: CBD: splitting hairs, how?

CBD: <-- Pulls Blinds Soapbox out from Under him

BlindFools: CBD: Not hardly, I am more fit than you.

CBD: Blind, ok, whatever you say oh Superior one

BlindFools: CBD: good
BlindFools: CBD: now...
BlindFools: CBD: again...
BlindFools: CBD: how am I splitting hairs?

PF: You all realize this guy probably about as atheistic as Peter Popoff

BlindFools: CBD: do you frequently make statements you can't back up?

CBD: Blind is a strange one

WP: Blind, why not just shut up, you say nothing

CBD: make sme kinda ashamed to be Atheist

BlindFools: CBD: please don't tell people you're an athieist, gives us true ones a bad name.

CBD: Not really, but he makes ya wonder

BlindFools: CBD: What have I said that you disagree with?

PF: Blind, your amusement value is starting to fade....

BlindFools: PF: But my power remains.

PF: Why not go annoy the wiccans?

CBD: Blind, You said You are a eal atheist
CBD: prove it

BlindFools: CBD: okay...
BlindFools: CBD: a question...

CBD: Blind, never mind

BlindFools: CBD: do we have a "mind"?

CBD: <-- Mind reader

BlindFools: CBD: afraid?

CBD: We?

BlindFools: CBD: weak

BlindFools: CBD: Yes, people.

CBD: <-- Splitting hair

BlindFools: CBD: have a mind?

CBD: define people
CBD: define mind

BlindFools: CBD: more evolved than other primates.
BlindFools: CBD: homo-sapien

MGK: who u callin a primate?

CBD: Blind, that is evident, from our standpoint

BlindFools: CBD: mind - that which controls the brain.

CBD: Blind, a Mind controls the brain?

BlindFools: CBD: evident how?

CBD: SOund Science I see

BlindFools: CBD: okay...
BlindFools: CBD: do 'you" (mind) control your body, or your "brain"?

CBD: Blind, I may

BlindFools: CBD: what?

CBD: define Control

K: Blind could you please stop copying what CBD says

BlindFools: CBD: you decide to raise your arm and it raises.

CBD: Blind, is that a fact?

BlindFools: CBD: is that you or your brain?

PF: :decides to smack blind:

CBD: maybe I have no arms
CBD: you are making a lot of assumptions

BlindFools: CBD: maybe you have no brain

C23: kel,just ignore blind.it is the easiest thing to do.

BlindFools: CBD: it was an example that you asked for.

CBD: Blind, hmm, acerebral?
CBD: could be
CBD: but I am not JFK

CDS: Kell, he is using different fonts but it's him talking.

K: aww
CDS thanks lol

BlindFools: CBD: based on your responses, your brain is malfunctioning...
BlindFools: CBD: which makes you weak.

PF: BlindFools: Is this the real life, is this just fantasy?

CBD: Blind, according to which set of standards?
CBD: established by whom?
CBD: in which calendar year?

CDS: CBD, and which calendar?

BlindFools: CBD: based on the fact that your brain can't match mine.

CBD: CDS, hey man my hair splitter just wet dull

BlindFools: CBD: you can't answer, you just ask.

CBD: like Blind's brain

BlindFools: CBD: you are weak and not a true atheist.

CBD: COn I think I shall Cut Blinds Little ***** Off if I do

CDS: CBD, lol.

BlindFools: CBD: now that's intelligent...

PF: Blind.... You're beginning to become tiresome.

CBD: well Blind, good thing I need not meet your standard of true Atheism

BlindFools: CBD: does your mom know you're up this late?

CBD: my lack of beleif in God suffices me
CBD: thanks though

BlindFools: CBD: No,it's the only logical standard.

CBD: Blind <YAWN>

CDS: Now I know what an Atheistbot is like. Ugh.

CBD: you are almost as Boring as a Fundy

BlindFools: CBD: Yes, but you muddle it with a belief in a mind which you CAN"T prove.
BlindFools: CBD: admit it.

PF: Anyway, I guess that Blind has shown me the absurdity of my Athiest ways.
PF: I shall have to go join a convent... or is it a monestary?

CBD: Blind, uhh *******, my Atheism is marked by a LACK of beleif
CBD: I suppose you have your own definition

BlindFools: CBD: then where did life and stuff come from?
BlindFools: CBD: big bang and evolution?

CDS: Stuff? STUFF?

K: C.. gosh i remember when i used to say that..

K: cbd why dont ya block blind :)

CBD: K this is Almost entertaining

CBD: and a bit of a new twist to the usual stupidity

BlindFools: CBD: you keep avoiding, why?

PF: Heheh. Blind... nobody is buying you. Go away.

T: Maybe nobody knows Blind

BlindFools: CBD: all you can do is insult rather than debate - sad.

CBD: Blind fancies Himself an Ivory Tower Atheist

BlindFools: PF: Than what have I said that YOU disagree with?
BlindFools: PF: then*

CBD: Blind, why in the **** should I debate an Idiot like yourself ?

PF: I disagree with your presence. Please leave.

BlindFools: PF: why?

CBD: I prefer to scoff at you and call you silly names in a Sophomric fashion

BlindFools: CBD: because that's all you can do, admit it.

CBD: it is the level you have demonstrated yourself capable of

PF: Because rather than spend time talking among ourselves, we are forced to deal
PF: with you.

BlindFools: CBD: then prove me wrong - i dare you.

CBD: Blind, prove waht wrong?

PF: Well, I *triple dog dare you* to prove ME wrong when I say you're only
PF: here to be disruptive and annoying.

BlindFools: PF: I am strictly defending atheism - better than you.

OS1: Blind what are you wrong/ not wrong about?

CBD: you prove you are a hairsplitting wannabe ivorytower non-beleiver in God
CBD: Big ******* Deal

BlindFools: CBD: nevermind, go learn some more insults.

CBD: your Atheism somehow has more value than Mine?
CBD: I place no Value on it
CBD: it is simply there

PF: CBD, this guy is NOT an athiest. maybe you're just sleepy, but you have
PF: to realize that.

HS: carbon? his atheism is funamental! ;>
HS: fundamental! ****!

BlindFools: We are all just organic pain-collectors racing toward oblivion.

PF: I'll race you toward oblivion....

BlindFools: PF: I'll win.

CBD: HS, sorry, I have a hard time beleiving anything with the word Mental in it
CBD: having anything to do with Blind here

HS: lol, CBD! mentally deficient, maybe? ;>

BlindFools: We are merely flesh-bags of chemicals responding to stimuli.

OS1: Blind, I agree with that ...

BlindFools: OS1: you're a true athest.

OS1: <---- true atheist
OS1: :)

PF: I prefer the term "body", Blind.
PF: Its not actually bag shaped.

CBD: Blind, you are perhaps a flesh bag of Chemicals, I ma trapped Radiant Light

IVA: flesh bag lol

CDS: Wait, I get it. If you agree with the almight Blind, you are true Atheist.
CDS: almighty*

CBD: CDS, now that we know the rules

BlindFools: CDS: No, if you agree with the facts only.

K: <-True christian :-)

KT: <------------- true Christian 2
KT: Hehe

CBD: it helps it's ego maybe
CBD: oh wait it has no ego

BlindFools: CBD: no such thing as ego.

CBD: just a bag of chemicals responding to stimuli

CDS: CBD, tisk, tsk, not playing by the rules.

BlindFools: CBD: ego is merely brain waves.

CBD: COn, thanks man
CBD: keep me in Line

PF: You AREN"T A BAG!

CBD: I would hate ot endure the scorn of Blind again

BlindFools: CBD: because you are weak

CBD: Blind, Just for the record, I fart in your general Direction

BlindFools: CBD: very intelligent.

PF: I'm gonna minister to Blind, I think he needs to be shown the true path.

CBD: Now go away, or I shall Taunt you a second Time

PF: Listen.

BlindFools: PF: which is?

PF: You are going to HELL!

BlindFools: PF: there is no hell

PF: Wait... *HELL*

BlindFools: PF: c'mon, at least try to be intelligent

PF: And um... somebody help me out here?

BlindFools: PF: yes cause I'm very fit.

PF: Er... you must accept Jesus's free gift of Salvation!

BlindFools: PF: Jesus was made up by Constantine.
BlindFools: PF: Jesus never existed.

CDS: Blind, wow, we actually agree on something.

CBD: Blind, you need salivation
CBD: <-- Spits on Blind

BlindFools: CBD: You need knowledge.

CBD: Blind, oh wise one, enlighten me

OS1: What's with all this
BlindFools/CBD infighting? We're all atheists ******! :)

BlindFools: PF: Then why do you use sarcasm - it is a weak trait.

CBD: Blind, you need a noogie
CBD: no wait, you really need a WEDGIE!

PF: In hell, there are no wedgies!

BlindFools: CBD: Your brain needs better chemicals and more experiences.

CBD: ****, it will be a cold day in hell before Blind falls off that High horse
CBD: ***
CDS: CBD, it's a long fall too.

PF: :snickers: This guy is NOT an atheist, we all understand that right?
PF: Cause otherwise this is just sad.

BlindFools: Religious leaders are more highly evolved than atheists.

JQA: Blind, you are a fool to believe so

OS1: Blind, huh? Why do you believe that?

BlindFools: They have invented a way to get people to "voluntarily" submit control to them.
BlindFools: JQA: right?

CDS: Blind, it's called fear you fool.

BlindFools: They have invented a way to get people to "voluntarily" submit control to them.

BlindFools: CDS: Yes, they use fear to gain an advantage, nothing wrong with that, right?

CDS: Blind, oh please. Is the great one suggesting we be like religious leaders?

BlindFools: CDS: why not?
BlindFools: CDS: what's wrong with it?

CDS: Blind, because I think I am MUCH better than that.

BlindFools: CDS: better> how? By what standard?
BlindFools: CDS: what makes your standards superor?
BlindFools: CDS: superior*

CDS: Blind, you profess to use logic and reason that then throw it out the window for fear?

BlindFools: CDS: Again, how is it wrong?

CDS: Blind, your answer is in my question.

BlindFools: CDS: Yor answer is inadequate - be more specific.

CDS: Blind, for you oh great one. When you are ready to understand, let me know.
CDS: <pats Blind on the head>

CBD: there is NOTHING Right or Wrong
CBD: Nothing evil or Good
CBD: But THINKING which makes it so

BlindFools: CDS: Why is what the relgious leaders do wrong? ANybody?
BlindFools: CDS: Anyone?
BlindFools: CDS: Bueller?
BlindFools: CDS: Bueller?

HS: blind... often, religious leaders are religious bigots.

CDS: Blind, if YOU want to act like a religious leader, be my guest. I prefer something...
CDS: ..more along the lines of reason and logic. Not fear

J127: WHAT IS AN ATHEISET

CDS: Juggalo, ask Blind.

K: jugg a person who dosent believe in God.

T: jugg - a person who does not follow a particular religious theism
T: usually also a non believer in a deity...

BlindFools: CDS: They use the logic and reason of fear to gain advantage, what's wrong with that?

CDS: Blind, LOL, "logic and reason of fear." LOL That's a good one.

BlindFools: CDS: The ones who "use" it are logical, not the ones it is used on.
BlindFools: CDS: right?

CDS: Blind, wow, you honestly believe that don't you?

BlindFools: CDS: Of coarse, it's the law of nature.
BlindFools: CDS: Right?

CDS: Blind, well, at least you have the right screen name.

CBD: if you agree that MORALS are non-existent without god and it is ok to
CBD: take advantage of the adleminded
CBD: then you also must agree that you need a God to have morals

BlindFools: CDS: Survival of the fittest.
BlindFools: CDS: Prove me wrong - I dare you.

CDS: As, "fascinating" as Blind is. It's time for me to go to bed.
CDS: Take care everyone. Be well. <tips hat to all>

BlindFools: CDS: <-- chooses flight instead of fight - weak.
BlindFools: CDS: weak

CDS: Blind, yes, I'm soooooo weak and you are such a strong big boy.

BlindFools: <-- very fit
BlindFools: CDS: you still act weak
BlindFools: CDS: sad

CDS: Blind, in fact, I feel the need to leave your presense. It's just too overwhelming.

CBD: Such a Big Strong Boy that Blind is

BlindFools: We are all just organic pain-collectors racing toward oblivion.

CBD: Blind, do you really think you are foling anyone?
CBD: fooling***

BlindFools: CBD: What? Who? ME?

CDS: K, yes, his vaste superiority is just too much to bear.

K:
CDS weren you leaving lol ?
K: werent *

BlindFools: CBD: I haven't been proven wrong yet.

CBD: yes, you FUNDIE

BlindFools: CBD: ((gasp))

J88: Blind - ugh

BlindFools: J88: what?
BlindFools: J88: got something to say?

CDS: Blind, I'll just have to crawl out the door. You have left me too weak to walk.

BlindFools: CDS: If you must try to save face with humor - I understand.

CBD: Blind, you can never be proven wrong,

J88:
BlindFools: Your Dumb?
J88:
BlindFools: Go away?
J88:
BlindFools: your annoying?

BlindFools: J88: based on what standards?

J88: BlindFools: stop talking
J88:
BlindFools: ::click::

BlindFools: J88: <-- chose flight instead of fight.

J88: KB - Ignore is on

CBD: you already have ALL teh answers you are willing to accept

HS: ::::reclicking blind:::

BlindFools: HS: <-- chose flight instead of fight.

AP: <<<reminds people on the room of the ignore button to get rid of unwanted people's font

KB: <-----cracking up at this whole CBD/Blind thing
KB: J88... it;s high time you developed a personal relationship with your Ignore Featureā„¢

CDS: Blind, stop, stop! It's too much. I'm speechless. I can't go on!
CDS: Okay, this was fun but time to go. <shakes head at the "dunderninny">

BlindFools: CDS: leaving already? lol
BlindFools: CDS: yeah right

CBD: Blind CLICK!
CBD: wow, no more idocy onmy screen!

BlindFools: CBD: <-- chose flight instead of fight.

CBD: Idiocy either*

HS: from blind's website: For the evidences of Jesus' divinity, we suggest going here:
HS: http://members.aol.com/FaithInEvidence

BlindFools: HS: Yes, put the rest!!!
BlindFools: lol
BlindFools: http://members.aol.com/FaithInEvidence

HS: blind is an atheist like i'm a swedish male supermodel

BlindFools: HS: but the funny ting is...
BlindFools: HS: nobody can prove me wrong.

HS: yup, all...just looked at his website...

BlindFools: HS: you scoundrel\

T: BlindFools - suggest you read TOS regarding advertisement in chat

BlindFools: T: will take under advisement
BlindFools: T: maybe

CBD: teach perhaps a Report would be in order?
CBD: for advertising to chat?

BlindFools: CBD: but the funny thing is...
BlindFools: CBD: I didn't bring it up first - lol.
BlindFools: CBD: I'm covered.

CBD: Hey Blind, when did the ***** Die?

BlindFools: CBD: which female dog do you speak of?

CBD: some dearly departed one I am sure

BlindFools: CBD: Very intelligent.

J88: Umm - Should I click L?

BlindFools: J88: No, click me.
BlindFools: J88: It's called fight or flight.

BlindFools: There was nothing wrong with he inquisitions, crusades, or witch burnings.

HS: hey everyone? we can dump blind...
HS: anyone want to report his hateful anti-atheist site to aol?

J88: What site HS?

HS: i already took the liberty!

LAW359: i'll report him

HS: joe...it's blind's homepage. it mocks atheists.

BlindFools: HS: I already nominated it for top site - lol

HS: http://hometown.aol.com/BlindFools/ (Keyword to: http://hometown.aolcom/BlindFools/)

BlindFools: lol
BlindFools: lol

KB: ****, it's late
..
BlindFools: KB: please...
BlindFools: KB: don't use religious terms in here.

HS: just click the "notify aol" button! ;>

BlindFools: just click the "notify aol" button! ;>
BlindFools: just click the "notify aol" button! ;>
BlindFools: just click the "notify aol" button! ;>
BlindFools: By the way....
BlindFools: why are you advertising my site in here - isn't that a TOS violation - lol

 

 

INTERMISSION
(Now sing the theme song to "The Monkeys")

 

Now, on to Act 2 . . .