Page 1a - Frank B. Finite (a "true" atheist)

 

Page 1b - Amazing Transitional Fossils

 

Page 1c - Andy Akers (ag-nostic)

 

Page 1d - Alternate Resurrection Theory of the Month

 

Page 1e - Ask Miko

 

Page 1f - Your Evological Horrorscope

 

Page 1g - The Book of Chances

 

Page 1h - Word of the Month

 

Page 1j - An Internal Memo

 

Page 1k - The Evolutionary Classifieds

 

Page 1kk - Letters to the Editor

 

Page 1m - Who Are We?

 

Page 63 - The Real Story

 

Page 70 - Past Issues

 

Page 77 - Contact the fools

Amazing Transitional Animals

 

Darwin said that we should find millions of transitional fossils to support the theory of evolution.

And though we haven't come across any yet, we know it is just a matter of time before we do. Because given enough time, anything can happen (i.e., something from nothing, order from chaos via random chance, evolution, etc. and etc.).

So we have taken the liberty of "reconstructing" what these transitional animals were probably like.

We snookered a bunch of students from the local art school to help us out pro-bono. Now it should be cautioned that these aspiring artists may have pushed their creative license in order to beef up their portfolio and make a name for themselves.

Then we hood-winked a bunch of natural science students from the local junior college to give us a brief synopsis of how these animals probably lived. And they probably took some creative licenses too.

Enjoy the tour . . .


Peacockodile
Peacock-to-Crocodile Transitionary Species

Was a formidable predator in the areas that would later become oriental gardens.

But its one weakness was that it had not yet developed its beautiful fan tail. This greatly diminished the ability to attract a mate of the opposite sex, as well as balance.

Its favorite food was water foul, and they almost became extinct because they were constantly mistaking each other for food when attacking from underneath in water.

Luckily they evolved into complete crocodiles before they wiped themselves out.


Hippohogomus
Wild Hog-to-Hippo Transitionary Species

A ferocious territorial mammal. It mostly ate vegetation, but would eat a peacockodile if it went too long before meals.

However, it could go two weeks without eating because it could store food in the sides of its mouth. Other mammals would inherit this trait too via survival of the fittest.

Would cool itself by flopping about the muddy river bank while completely submerging only its head in water.


Birdaffe
Bird-to-Giraffe Transitionary Species

Could reach the top of bushes to eat when shorter animals couldn't.

Amazingly this species could fly, but was about as graceful as a moth that was just partially jolted by a bug-zapper.

More than likely many of them died as a result of walking on soft muddy terrain. Their top-heavy weight would push their small feet into mud, thus trapping the animal (and hopefully providing an abundance of fossil remains).