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To be with You
~By
Lovely-chan~
It was late, the stars were twinkling in
the sky brighter than ever-the two moons glowed fully almost
brightening the area as much as the sun, but only with a cool light
instead of hot. On the sheet spread on the grass, two men were
kissing and touching each other eagerly, without noticing how late
it already was.
“Make love to me, highness.”
“Kouin…say Kouin.”
“Make love to me…Kouin.”
“I want to…but I can’t.” The angel sat up,
still tempted by the young man’s pleads.
“Why?”
“It’s a process…I mustn’t have sex with
anyone.”
“What process?”
“I am getting prepared and soon I’ll be
going if I pass the last test.”
Going? Where?! “What are you talking about?
Where’re you going?”
“To Eden.”
“To Eden! How can you go there? Why?” I
don’t want you to go!!
“Let me explain… People change every day,
some for good, others for bad.” He paused. ”Life is a cycle in which
you have what you build…and as time passes, your castle can be
filled with traps or maybe just a real paradise. If that’s the case,
you are ready for the next level. Each soul possess a mission and if
you go through life without doing it, you will come back as many
times as you need to to finally erase all the wrong you did and make
all the good you should have done in the beginning. Depending in
which state your soul is, it’s the planet you must live.”
“I don’t understand…I’m so dumb.”
“Don’t say that...” Kouin smiled lightly.
“Look, as simple humans we are in a lower level, but some humans are
more elevated than others. Those in higher range can move to a next
level and go to a new way of life in a new planet, that’s my case.
Only that I am in a higher range than any normal human since I’m a
mid level angel...well actually I’m becoming a high angel, that’s
the process I mentioned to you before, and part of that process is
physical pureness and of course, pureness of my soul as well. That’s
why I can’t sleep with you.”
“How do you get to the higher levels? How
can I go to Eden too?”
“You must connect with your inner self
stronger than any other angel that lives in Tengoku, so you can
reach the high angels consciousness and then you can go to Eden. You
see this jewels in my forehead?” He nodded. “You know what they mean
right?”
“You are a high angel.”
“Yes, and you only have one small triangle
because you are a low angel, that means you must work hard to reach
the level I’m at now.”
“Ohh.” I can’t go with him. His eyes turned
sad.
“Don’t be disappointed. That is the process
every living creature should live, all in their own level, every
soul lives in a planet to where his level of consciousness fits the
ones surrounding him, if they surpass the level of the planet they
are living in, then they must part to another one. That’s why I
can’t stay here anymore.”
“That’s why people die in other planets? To
go to another one?”
“Sometimes, but other times they come back
to the same planet if they didn’t learn their lesson. I guess you
paid your karma on Earth.” By sacrificing your life for me.
“Be cause I’m here now, right?” He nodded.
“Can people go to a lower planet?”
“Yes. We once lived in Eden, but we’ve
committed some mistake and were sent to another planet to learn our
lesson. Now we’re almost ready to go back to where we belong.”
“That’s a fallen angel?”
“Exactly.”
“How you will transform now? Will you get
wings? I was told high angels have wings. Do you have wings?”
“No, do you see my wings?” They laughed. “I
don’t know what will happen…it’s a secret from the higher angels.
That’s what Master Chidou told me.”
“You met him?” He helped me.
“Yes, he is in the West side right now…my
son is with him.”
“Your son? You mean…you have a mate?!” He
was surprised and very jealous with the news.
“Yes…didn’t you know? Everyone knows
everything about me…well…not what’s in my heart.”
He has a mate!!! “I didn’t know…I never pay
much attention to the High Angels rituals…I though I’d never meet
one.”
“Well…at least you should know about the
history of the planet. You know what happened 35 years ago? About
the disease that almost vanished this planet?”
“Yes…but I never understood it very much. I
wasn’t born back then…actually…I never pay attention to studies,
only to music.”
“Ha! Ha! That’s you! You haven’t changed a
bit! Never like to study…only music and poetry.”
“Yeah, I love poetry! You know a lot about
me.” That’s so sweet. “Hum…so that means you are like…40 years old?”
“A little more, 42. You must pay more
attention, what I just told you is something you should’ve know
since you were three years old, it’s very important.”
“I’m sorry…I never listen, but with you is
different. I can listen to you forever.”
“That’s sweet…” He looked away for a
second, then back at Yutaka. “I have to go, Yuyu…I’ll think about
you.” Kouin placed a kiss on his lips and stood up. “I can’t believe
I passed this test.” He smiled to his dear one, and left to his home
a little unsure of making the right choice-he wanted to stay.
“He is so wonderful!” Yutaka threw himself
back and smiled looking at the stars. “I…I think I love him too.” He
grabbed a pillow and wrapped himself with the sheet Kouin forgot,
remembering he left everything, including the painting. “I can
cheat! Ha! Now I can see it!” Still wrapped on the sheet, he walked
to where the painting was and lifted the sheet his angel had placed
over it. “What…what’s that silhouette?” He was looking at the
painting, and yes he was in it, but-behind him was a figure that
looked like a ghost and was floating above him. “It looks like…like
me, but…with black and short hair!” His heart shrunk and in his head
he could see his face looking in the mirror-the reflection of the
one drawn in the painting. “What’s that memory…a flashback?” He
shook his head and covered the painting. Creating an energy capsule
with his bracelet, he left all of Kouin’s belongings inside it.
“That’s me…I’m sure.” Back in his room, he bathed and washed his
face many times, all the while trying to erase that memory he'd had
before. “That face…I’m scared.” He looked in the mirror and saw his
silky white hair falling down gracefully- and his green eyes.
“That’s me…that’s the Yutaka I know.” He smiled at his reflection
and then saw it again. It was his face, but the hair was short and
black, and he looked a little thinner than him, but it was his
reflection for sure. “AH!!” He threw the towel to the mirror and ran
away to his bed. “That’s not me…I’m different. My hair is white,
white!” He took a piece of hair in his right hand and looked at it.
“White.” He stayed still in his bed, but even when his heart was
shaking, he was able to sleep.
"Thank you, no one ever showed me so much
love like you have tonight…you are a treasure for me." "What are
you talking about? You are coming with me." "Let’s hurry babe.” “We
have to go, baby…this is forbidden.” He could listen to his voice,
it was a memory, but couldn’t see anything. All he saw was when he
let go of his hand; then he woke up. “KOUIN! Kouin…you let go of my
hand. What happenend? What happenend on Earth?” Yutaka had a dream
of the past, but still couldn’t remember clearly what happen. “Maybe
I’m really his dear Yutaka, but…I don’t want him to love me because
of him…I want him to love me, only me.” He cried sadly, thinking the
only reason Kouin was getting close to him was because of that other
guy that he'd been in love with in the past- who appearantly looked
similar to him. “That’s why…and I though he may like me for me. I’m
such a fool…no one ever liked me.”
The next day Yutaka didn’t go to the
gardens and Kouin was worried. “What if something happen to him? I
should go see…I don’t know his room number…humm. Of course I do!” At
that moment he pushed a button on his bracelet and a computer
hologram appeared before him, he started looking in the database to
found where he was staying since he had access to every single file
and document of the entire planet. “Bingo! Room 895 South. South?
…But that room is very apart from the others. Why is he there?” He
immedialty forgot about it as he teleported to the front door and
knocked. “Yutaka, are you there?”
He's here! How did he found out where I
live? Of course…he is royalty and I’m…nobody. Should I open?
“Yutaka…is it because of what happen
yesterday? Yutaka…I promise, I won’t touch you again if you don’t
like it.”
He opened the door a moment after. “Is not
that!”
“Then what is it?”
“You said you loved me…and that’s a lie!”
“Why you say so?”
“You don’t love me…you love that
boy-your-your Yutaka!” Kouin’s eyes widened in shock. “You just
like me because of him, not because of me! I don’t want to see you!
Go away! You…you hurt me! I’m not Kinjo Yutaka!!! I am just an
orphan!”
“Kinjo? I never told you his last name, how
do you know?”
“I don't know- I just do! Go with her…with
Kai…you chose her.”
“Is that why? You're hurt because I chose
her? I…”
“GO! You let go of my hand…” His eyes
teared and his face reflected intense pain. “Go look at your
painting if you want to see him!”
“Yuyu…”
“Don’t call me Yuyu…I’m not him anymore!!”
Kouin stared a few seconds confused and most of all hurt for being
treated so harshly by his dear one, but he could only guess that he
deserved it.
“Forgive me…please, I love you.”
“You don’t love me…you love a memory.”
“Yutaka…” Yutaka quickly closed the door,
almost hitting Kouin’s face, and he let go of his tears while
touching the closed door before him. “I deserve that. I deserve your
rejection…I deserve it.” His tears fell down endlessly knowing he
hurt his beloved’s heart once again and that was something he
couldn’t resist. Going back to his home, he went to his room and
opened the door he avoided for many years, stepping back into his
old memories. “Every single memory is painful…and now that I have
him, he hates me. I deserve it, for killing him.” Kouin took a
framed picture in his hand, cleaning the layer of dust covering it.
“Yutaka, I must forget…if only I could.” Throwing himself on top of
the bed in the room, and stayed there crying for hours, until his
transmitter started ringing constantly, flashing with a red light
that was driving him crazy. “DAMN! Can’t I disappear for once! I
want to be alone!” He looked at it and knew Hokano was the one
calling, so he answered. “Hokano, I want to be a lone. Stop calling
me; I am not available for anyone! ANYONE!”
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