Chinese Ghost Story:
The Tsui Hark Animation (1997)

Cast:

There is no cast...

What the box says:

Based on the well-known, live action films of the same name, A Chinese Ghost Story: The Tsui Hark Animation seamlessly combines the renowned action director's trademark "Perpetual motion" pacing with the latest computer graphics to create a fantastic tale of demons, hungry ghosts, and timeless love.

Considered by many to be one of contemporary Hong Kong's most brilliant cinematographers, filmmaker Tsiu Hark is internatonally known for his iconoclastic style, solid storytelling, and tightly maintained pace. Among his many famous Hong Kong films are A Better Tomorrow, Peking Opera Blues, A Chinese Ghost Story, as well as Once Upon a Time in China.

Plot:

Ning is crying out as he’s being thrown through the air. A demonic sea serpent chases after him. His girlfriend, Lan, appears and disappears into a cloud of light. He is devoured by the sea serpent as he awakens.

Ning and his dog, Solid Gold, are on the road again like Willie Nelson sings.

Later, they call it a night to get some shuteye. Ning used to work to be worthy of his girlfriend. However, he is working to forget her. In a flashback, Lan is going off to her wedding. She throws Solid Gold away.

During a storm, the bald, wizened monk, White Cloud and his apprentice, 10 Mile, appear. He approaches Ning as eyes fly around the place. The monk and his sidekick are ghost hunters. White Cloud is unconcerned about the ghosts. 10 Mile isn’t bothered about destroying the building in the battle with the ghosts.

Ning is pretty freaked out by all of this. White Cloud uses his eye beams to destroy a nearby ghost.

Zombie skeletons chase Ning. 10 Mile takes care of them quickly. He dissipates the clouds of eye ghosts.

Another ghost is chasing Ning. White Cloud kills it. Suddenly, he senses his enemy is approaching.

A giant wooden steam powered mecha flies by the commotion. Apparently, Red Beard has been stealing White Cloud’s business. Well, White Cloud and 10 Mile leave.

Ning treks on and can’t find the city where his job takes him now. Suddenly, the city appears right behind him. Ning is a tax collector. The shop keeper gives him a lot more gold than what is necessary. Ning leaves before learning the shopkeeper is a skeleton wearing a mask.

Ning somehow misses spotting the various ghosts all over the city. He spots the hot Siu Seen as sugary pop song plays. Ning is automatically smitten with her.

A rickshaw takes Ning around the city. He finally spots some of the ghosts. Ning and Solid Gold are dropped off at a restaurant. Ning disguises himself so the ghosts won’t spot him. Siu Seen spots him, though.

Siu Seen flies to Ning’s table. She offers to take him to her place. Oh, yeah, nothing is better than the promise of ectoplasmorgasmic lovin’. Other ghosts nearby sense the living in the place. They start searching the living.

Ning and Solid Gold are getting pretty nervous. Siu Seen distracts the other ghosts while getting Ning out of the restaurant.

They are about to kiss when her cell phone rings. Madame Trunk wants a higher quota. A series of earthquakes shakes the city. Ning and Siu Seen get separated. The ghosts panic as Red Beard’s mecha attacks.

Red Beard is performing a song and dance as he attacks. Massive exorcisms ensue.

Butterfly spots Siu Seen and Ning together. She calls Madame Trunk and Seen’s behavior. Apparently, Madame Trunk needs fresh skin to prevent wrinkles. I though Elizabeth Bathory was vain.

The mecha just keeps coming. Siu Seen is hurt. Ning is trying to save her. Red Beard can’t understand why he would want to save a ghost. Ning begs Red Beard to help him save her.

Computer generated tentacles arrive. It is a tree demon. Red Beard must contend with roots at least not the touchy feely kind from Evil Dead.

Ning and Siu Seen are starting to slip but are saved by a staircepede. Imagine a flight of stairs with many legs like a millipede that would be a staircepede.

The roots catch Red Beard and fondle him. He manages to escape with his dignity and a few orifices intact. The mecha battles the tentacles that retreat.

Staircepede is flying away. Ning and Siu Seen spot a flying train. They barely manage to get aboard. She explains the train is heading to the gate of reincarnation. However, Siu Seen is ready to reincarnate. She has a boyfriend. They have to get off the train.

Butterfly grabs Ning. Siu Seen follows after them. She is able to rescue Ning. Butterfly is able to knock them out of the sky. However, the rising sun drives her away.

Ning awakens and can’t find Siu Seen. The sunlight will cook her. He is trying to keep her from baking. Ning comes up with the idea of getting her in a nearby lake. Unfortunately, that is just a temporary measure with the sun still rising. He gives her an umbrella to get inside to keep her out of the sun.

Siu Seen wants Ning to get her to her boyfriend’s concert. Ning stumbles across Red Beard.

Ning runs from Red Beard who catches up with him. Red Beard grabs the umbrella. Ning pleads with him to not open it. Red Beard is starting to come across as a big softie.

White Cloud and 10 Miles approach them. Red Beard takes Ning aboard the mecha. Red Beard can’t stand White Cloud. It is nice to know that feeling of hatred is mutual. As the mecha flies off, White Cloud and 10 Mile attack it.

Red Beard will stall the exorcists for Ning to escape.

White Cloud severely damages the mecha before it explodes.

Later, Ning lets Siu Seen out of the umbrella. She invites him to the ghost festival. He declines. Siu Seen’s boyfriend is about to appear. A giant black ghost with long flowing white hair named Mountain Evil. He starts his rock act. Yes, China has giant ghost who are rock stars. Apparently, his lyrics include ”I am so good…All must praise me…” As Siu Seen is flying around him, Butterfly launches at attack that cuts a few strands of Mountain Evil’s hair off. He blames Siu Seen for it. The “heroic” Mountain Evil will tear her limb from limb. Ning leaps to her defense.

White Cloud and 10 Mile appear at the festival. A giant rock singing ghost will battle a bald super powerful mystic monk. During the fight, White Cloud burns off Mountain Evil’s “heroic” hair. The giant ghost collapses into the ground in shame. Our exorcists are going to dig him out to finish him permanently.

Ning is trying console Siu Seen. Apparently, he has fallen in love with her. This guy has the worst luck with women. She frees his spirit from his body. They fly away as a music number starts.

Madame Trunk is deathly afraid of wrinkles. She wonders who the next victim will be. Siu Seen brings Ning to her boss. Madame Trunk feeds on spirits. Ning is bothered by having his soul stolen at least he got to meet Siu Seen. She starts trying to pull him free. Butterfly helps our couple escape. Madame Trunk is wrinkling and turns into a tree.

Solid Gold is mourning over Ning’s physical body when Siu Seen returns his spirit to it. They decide to take the Reincarnation Train together. If the avoid the Void hammers which beat the previous lives memories out of you, you can remember your previous life. That way they can meet again. Ning will find out where Siu Seen will be reborn.

Mountain Evil appears in the cave. He is going to allow Siu Seen to worship him again. She escapes with Ning and fly to the Reincarnation Train which looks vaguely like the Soul Train.

Mountain Evil jumps on the train. Apparently, he isn’t too fond of his ladies leaving him. Suddenly, Red Beard appears. A little red bushy bearded guy can kick the ass of a giant rock star ghost.

White Cloud and 10 Mile attack the train. White Cloud will stop the train. Red Beard is angry that the monk is trying to interfere with the natural order reincarnation.

White Cloud creates a thousand glowing hands to stop the train. Red Beard does the Madrox, the Multiplying Man, trick. An army of Red Beard attacks the hands and frees the train.

10 Miles decides to attack the train. Ning has to get the train back on course.

Butterfly zaps 10 Miles. White Cloud uses a dew of the 1000 hands to capture her. Siu Seen flies off to her rescue.

White Cloud seems to be an egg roll shy of a combination platter. He is able to grab Siu Seen, too.

Red Beard has watched enough Dragonball Z to realize he better use his finishing move. He summons up his Ultimate ball of Perfect Energy that destroys White Cloud. Siu Seen is able to rescue Butterfly.

Ning awakens in a giant clockwork. He has to keep the gate open for the Reincarnation Train. Siu Seen tells Ning where she’ll be reborn. Ghost reincarnation ensues.

White Cloud isn’t dead. He still wants to close the gate. He and Red Beard slug it out. No magic beams just 2 guys punching each other.

Siu Seen and Ning are starting to grow younger. They have to avoid the Void hammers.

Butterfly is at the gate and watches 10 Miles, White Cloud, and Red Beard pass through the gate.

Hammer dodging ensues. Siu Seen and Ning get separated.

Our exorcists accidentally knock Ning out of the gate. He returns to his normal age.

Ning awakens outside the village where Siu Seen is to be reborn. He spots the baby version of White Cloud, 10 Miles, and Red beard. Ning keeps searching through the village.

Apparently, Siu Lan, Ning’s ex girlfriend, had a baby. Ning grabs it and runs off. Siu Lan’s husband beats the hell out of Ning. He then learns the baby is a boy.

Solid Gold was reborn and reincarnated as a cat. He finds an umbrella. Ning is about to open the umbrella. He jumps into the river. Apparently, Siu Seen followed him back through the gate.

She doesn’t want to risk the Void hammers again. She’ll follow him.

Siu Lan and her husband are sure Ning has flipped his wig.

Computer generated end shot ensues.

What I say:

There is live action version that is supposed to be considered one of the more groundbreaking Hong Kong movies. So why am I reviewing this? Well, I found it at a video store on sale for $3. I've found normally the cheaper you can find a DVD the better chance you get reviewable material. Ultraman 2 was cheaper and in worse shape. But, for the most part, these cheap DVDs have been in good shape except for Ultraman 2 and the infamous unpostable review. Being Cheap isn't an automatic invitation to a review. Well, the DVD I got at a video store for 2 cents won't grace my site. Unless, I can figure out how to consider Comedy's Dirtiest Dozen a B-movie. Well, it has Tim Allen back in his cussing days...

Anime is incredibly popular. The strange thing is not much seems to be said about other Asian countries animation. Japan is considered to be a class by itself. I’m sure I’ll get around to some anime at some point again. The idea of trying to review multiple episodes like Ultraman 2 into something not quite episodic is a challenge I'm sure to delve into again. Chinese Ghost Story: the Tsui Hark Animation is the probably the first Hong Kong cartoon I’ve seen.

Tsui Hark is known as one of the most influential filmmakers in Hong Kong. Besides, helping John Woo escape the musicals and into directing a Better Tomorrow and other movies, Tsui also made Chow Yun-Fat and Jet Li as famous, too. He eventually came to America. A couple of Jean Claude Van-Damme movies had him high-tailing it back to Hong Kong. Who could honestly blame him after having to deal with the Muscles from Brussels?

Ning is our intrepid hero. That may a laying it on a little thick. He spends years trying to prove his love to his girlfriend who drops him like a bad habit. Afterwards, he spends years trying to forget her by working. Apparently, a tax collector in China is a fairly dangerous job and has to contend with ghosts. For the hero, he isn’t a kung fu master or mecha pilot. Ning is just trying to survive and help Siu Seen.

Siu Seen, the ghost, first wants to kill Ning then falls hopelessly in love with him. In the beginning, we see her wanting to save Ning so he can be brought to Madame Trunk. Eventually, she realizes her feelings for him. In fact, the awkward way they act towards each other sort of makes it more believable. They weren’t destined for each other. No stars in the sky foretold of a love that transcends the boundaries of time.

Red Beard may not be a pirate but is a strange ghost hunter. Numerous times, he helps Ning and Siu Seen escape even though Red Beard keeps warning the kid about not to trust ghosts. However, any guy with a steam-powered mecha must be given mad props. Better than a mecha, you apparently can fly and fight like in Dragonball Z and toss around giant spheres of plasma….

White Cloud is the kung fu exorcist monk. That would be a great occupation on a resume. Back, to our monk, most movies have the monk to be calm and helpful. This guy is a couple of “Merciful Buddhas” from the full order. He is insane and determined to destroy every ghost. Unfortunately, it is never explained why he is so gung ho to stop ghosts. A better question is why this guy hates Red Beard. If ghosts are such a threat, the more ghost hunters the better. I think the movie does mention that White cloud is angry that Red Beard isn’t a monk.

The idea of a giant ghost with long flowing hair who is a rock star in China is something I wish I could have come up with in my most fevered dreams. What could be better? Every one of his songs were basically “I’m so great to be worshipped by you obviously unworthy beings.” In fact, he is almost completely unnecessary to the story. Maybe, that is the fact that makes his appearance so great. As soon as you see this giant ghost, demon, or whatever he is, you realize he is just there to almost magnify the differences between him and Ning.

I’m sure the idea of the girl who is in love with some guy who deigns to allow her to worship him from afar is in most movies. How many movies have the girl with a complete jerk and oblivious to the fact until after finding the hero? Far too may to count. I’m not too fond of most romantic movies for that reason. What is the point? You can spot from the beginning the boyfriend is scum or either not the right guy for our love seeking female.

What makes the lovey-dovey stuff work so well? It is played as Ning is just so completely awkward around Siu Seen. The fact she is trying to capture his soul for her boss just doesn’t bother him. He spends most of the movie trying to help and save Siu Seen. It is almost unbelievable that we have a couple that doesn’t pork. I’m not sure if Hong Kong has a booming Category 3 rating for anime. (Yes, anime is used for Japanese animation. It is just the easiest way to name Hong Kong animation.)

Why are ghosts so terrible? No really clear answer is given for why ghosts are so feared. Ghostbusters showed the ectoplasmically abundant were nuisances except for giant marshmallow men trying to bring about the end of the world. In Chinese Ghost Story, some of the ghosts are trying to ensnare the living and use their spirits to stay young. Outside of Beetlejuice, are there any movies with aging ghosts?

The computer animation doesn’t merge with the traditional cell. It is used more for backgrounds and some of the more complex scenes involving the cogs in Reincarnation gate. Computer animation may have advanced even more greatly in the past few years. Final Fantasy: the Spirits Within may have involved soul steal lights slaughtering a computer animation representations of the colonial marines in Aliens. It was an incredible attempt to do it.

I’ve been avoiding the live action version of Chinese Ghost Story or its sequels. I wanted to be able to look at this animated version without any baggage. The live action versions are now on the mythical list that every online reviewer has. A list will never get anywhere close to being finished. I just keep trying to tack more movies onto this list. Whoever has the largest list of unwatched movies wins…

Quotable Dialogue
"The foul smells are all here, Master."
"That's White Cloud, the most famous exorcist monk in China."
"Taste my flying Monogram."
"Are the living always this stupid?"
"Dao of Daos increase speed."
"You dare to break my heroic hair?"
"Only an amateur would attack using hair."
Morals of the Story
Dogs love rice.
Skeletons love back rubs.
French pig ghosts are excellent waiters in China.
Ghosts have optic blasts.
Ghosts love umbrellas.
Monks are telekinetic.
Monks are very possessive of territory in the ghost busting business.
Ghosts need makeup.