Plot:
Doctor Eibon is doing a video log. Zombies storm the room and kill him. I have to call him Rob Zombie; he looks like Rob and controls zombies…
A female doctor is going into a dark morgue. She starts the autopsy by unzipping the body bag. The man has wounds all over his body and part of his skull is exposed. She finds a tooth in his neck as if he had been bitten. She turns around for a second, the corpse has vanished. The lights go out in the room. The corpse slices her throat open and drags her body on the autopsy table. He’s on top of her, starts kissing her. She awakens and starts making out with him. We have zombies making out. Do we need to explain the vultures and the flies to them? The scene is cut. This was part of a movie.
Michelle AKA Shelly was the female doctor and is the sister of the director, David. The zombie was played by Eric. David’s other sister, Nina, who is very much beeyotch-like, is angry they filmed without her. Nina also wants Shelly’s part.
On the cemetery set, Shelly is getting the fake blood off of her costume. David tries to make her feel better. Hey broke into this abandoned hospital to shoot. She leaves. Paul, the special effects guru, shows up with a fake severed head of Shelly. The plan had been to ditch Nina and film without her. Paul has to redo the head to look like Nina. But, the supplies haven’t come yet.
In a grocery store, the extremely hot Topaz is buying special effects supplies. The clerk is kind of thinking a woman buying 8 boxes of condoms, generic Preparation H, corn syrup, etc…is going to have a very strange time. She heads to the hospital.
Paul and David are there when Topaz arrives with the stuff. We learn that Nina is helping to fund the movie. Nina tries to pull rank with Topaz who isn’t going to take the beeyotch’s crap. David gets them apart before any fight starts. My money would be on Topaz. Shelly and Eric have wandered around the building, and Topaz is to find them.
Eric and Shelly are exploring. They find a torn up laboratory with things knocked over and a working television. They find a camcorder plug it into the TV and watch the Rob Zombie scene from the beginning of the movie. Topaz scares them. She gets the tape and looks around a little.
Paul has to flush out the eyes of Marcus, another actor. Shelly and Eric get to where everybody else is.
Topaz is exploring. She uses her CB to tell everybody to see what she’s found a huge chemistry lab and weird scientific equipment. The crew gets there. David finds a weird Coffin-thing. I dub it the Coffinator. Shelly wants to get when the going is good. David wants to use this stuff in the movie. Paul opens the Coffinator, and Rob Zombie falls out of it like the “Scum of the Earth”. They don’t find any id on him. Shelly wants to call the police. David wants to use the corpse in the movie. A horror movie with a real corpse would be big. David talks everyone into continuing except Shelly who thinks it’s a bad idea and leaves. The rest keep working.
With as upset as Shelly was, Marcus is sent to check on her.
They setup for the scene. David and Paul get corpse back into the Coffinator. Topaz wires up the coffin. We get a touching scene between her and Dave. David gives Eric some last minute instructions.
Eric powers up the Coffinator and is ranting about how his army of the dead will revenge him. Standard super-villain rant spiel begins. Coffinator starts lighting up. Eric places a medallion that fits into the lid. Soon, everybody hears pounding. David has Eric keep going. Eric opens the lid and pulled into the Coffinator. His body is thrown out, and Rob Zombie is reanimated…His zombies, Maggot and Gaunt, leave the Coffinator. I was about to type the phrase come out of the Coffinator, which sounds very strange.
More human than a human...
The crew is running from Gaunt and Maggot split up from each other. Rob Zombie is looking all evil and stuff. The zombies are in hot pursuit like Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane…
David and Topaz are being chased.
Nina is looking for everyone.
Chas and Paul are looking for a way to escape. A zombie is behind them. They break the glass out of the fire door. Paul helps Chas out of the building. Chas is screaming all that’s left are his legs. Paul somehow gets around the zombie.
Rob is working on creating more of his army. The reanimation process is being used on Eric. We get a flashback to why Rob is doing this. His wife died of cancer. He studies arcane tomes eventually finding a symbol of a medallion eventually getting the actual medallion. Eric is zombiefied, looks like he did wearing zombie makeup only more gruesome. He leaves the Coffinator. Nina finds Eric and Rob. Eric rips her head off. Rob orders the rest captured.
On the cemetery set, Marcus and Shelly are waiting for everybody else. Topaz uses her CB to call Marcus. The transmission is very scrambled. Marcus thinks it is to head where they were. The actual message is to go for help. Marcus leaves while Shelly stays.
Topaz and David are hiding from the zombies. Topaz is understandably freaked by the dead moving and trying to kill them. A zombie finds them. They escape into the vent system.
Shelly is still waiting when zombie Eric shows up. She thinks he’s just in makeup, not realizing the terrible truth. She is talking to him. He finally breaks the mirror with his fist. We cut away.
Topaz and David get out of the vents. Unfortunately, they find the morgue. Mrs. Rob Zombie is there. Topaz tells David about the tape of Rob’s video log. The wife is a little more animated. Topaz tries to communicate with her. Zombies want to kill the living, they hate the living. Could that be where we get the title? Well, this angers Topaz who punches through wife’s face. Apparently, Rob has a telepathic rapport with her and senses her true death. David and Topaz run into the zombies but get away from them.
Marcus who is in zombie makeup runs into David and Topaz who are pretty disturbed and run off. Maggot sees Marcus starts sniffing him, when he doesn’t smell right he kills Marcus. Rob Zombie orders the zombie to put Marcus in the Coffinator.
Paul finds Topaz and David at the cemetery set. Paul warns them about going outside. He thinks they’re in another dimension. The Coffinator must be destroyed to return to the real world. They ponder what Rob Zombie wants. He magically appears and reveals he want them dead. Well, they won’t go quietly into the night.
Rob Zombie brings several zombies crawling out of the cemetery set. I should note these zombies don’t seem to be as strong as Maggot or Gaunt. David grabs the nearby chainsaw. Paul grabs something. Topaz is kicking some ass, too. Zombies grab Topaz and haul her away. Paul and David grab the makeup case as they retreat.
Topaz is strapped to a gurney beside the Coffinator. Marcus is now in full zombie state.
In a barricaded room, David and Paul are planning. They use the makeup to make them look like zombies to get past all the shuffling zombies outside. Paul has a few remote controlled squibs and a bottle of whiskey. They leave the room.
The zombies ignore them as long as they walk like zombies, slow jerky movements. Our heroes are on their way.
Topaz is pleading. Rob Zombie wants to see what will happen if a living person is put in the Coffinator, which may be the key between the world of death and living.
Paul and David have gotten past the shuffling, shambling dead. They aren’t sure if Topaz is still alive, and then hear her scream.
The plan is for Paul to throw a TV at the zombies while David grabs Topaz. When, they move the TV, David finds Rob Zombie’s gun from the beginning of the movie.
Topaz is about to be put in the Coffin. Paul tosses the TV and manages to fry a zombie and shorts out the machine. The rest of the zombies chase Paul. Rob has a hold of Topaz. Paul has lured the zombies away.
Paul is tossing the squibs on the floor and spilling the whiskey on the floor. He detonates the squibs when the zombies are on the liquor coated floor, fricasseed zombies.
David has the gun on Rob. Paul finds Shelly who bites him. Paul manages to stop her by pushing her eyes in.
Rob Zombie is ranting about how he has won. Topaz escapes. The portal can’t be closed since the gateway is destroyed. David shoots Rob.
The dying Paul staggers to David and Topaz. The rest of the zombies are roaming Paul wants David and Topaz to get away. They go through the Coffinator.
David and Topaz are in a foggy netherworld….The end…
