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Devil in the Flesh (1998)

Dearly Devoted


Cast:

Rose "Sorry guys, I'm not naked in this movie" McGowan is Debbie Strand
Alex McArthur is Peter the teacher
Peg Shirley is Fiona Long
J.C. Brandy is Janie Magray
Sherrie Rose is Marilyn
Julia "Hey remember me starring in Sidekicks with Chuck Norris?" Nickson-Soul is Anna Nakashi
Wendy "Creepy woman from People Under the Stairs" Robie is Principal Joyce Saunders


What the box says:

She's young...beautiful...sexy and dangerous. Debbie Strand (Rose McGowan) is the new girl in class that everybody notices. At the moment she arrives, she sets her sights on her teacher, Peter (Alex McArthur), the high school hearthrob. But, her seductive advances don't win Peter until she threatens him with blackmail. What Debbie wants, Debbie gets, no matter what's standing in her way. As a checkered past of unsolved murders catches up with her, Debbie's games threaten to turn deadly again.


Plot:

Debbie is staring off into space for more than two minutes. We see a fire break out in the house behind her. Firefighters keep asking her if there is anyone else in there. She doesn’t answer them and seems to be in shock.

Later, some cops are checking over the burnt house. The fire investigator isn’t sure it if was arson or accidental. A cop finds a kitchen knife in the living room. That will be our first clue something is wrong.

Debbie is sent to live with her grandmother.

Granny is watching a fire and brimstone sermon on TV as Debbie enters. She is welcomed. The dog starts barking as foreshadowing the evil entering the house. Debbie is shown to her room which is straight out of a convent. She then asks to go shopping for some new clothes before going to school. Granny has saved Debbie’s mother’s clothes. And, those will be good enough.

Granny wakes Debbie before Dawn to clean the attic and the garage. Obviously, Granny believes in the Cinderella school of step-parenting. As Debbie is cleaning the attic she finds a shotgun. As she leaves to go to school, she is to get back after school to finish the cleaning.

At the high school, the jocks grab the combination to her lock and are playing keep away. Teacher, Peter Rinaldi comes to the rescue. Janie, the pseudo gothy-chick, is nearby, introduces herself to Debbie.

On the basketball court, Debbie sees Peter and introduces herself to him.


Rose McGowan is going to be lusting after me? Whooooo-hooooooo!!!
Todd, the basketball player, starts insulting Peter from across the court. He can’t be very athletic from all the writing he does. We get some great biting repartee between the two. It will be Todd versus Peter on the basketball court of honor. Blonde airhead, Meegan, has eyes for Peter like Debbie.

Todd and Peter decide on a bet. If Todd loses, he will work in class to earn an A. If Peter loses, he gives Todd an A no work required. The exciting basketball duel for the course of a letter grade begins. Peter takes Todd to school, well more than the school ground basketball court. Peter wins right before his girlfriend arrives to pick him up.

Debbie and Janie are going to shop.

The coroner is questioned about the victims who died in the fire. He couldn’t find any stab wounds.

After checking out some shops, they chill. Debbie swipes some clothes and a bottle of wine for themselves.

Debbie heads back home. She gets back home right after school. Granny is there and so are Debbie’s mom and her boyfriend. Both of them are par broiled crispy critters. She awakens from the nightmare and is still with Janie. Debbie heads for Granny’s for real this time.

It is after dark, when Rose gets home. But, she is busted by Granny who is pretty upset. Debbie will obey her. Granny is going to raise Debbie better than her harlot mother.

The next day, Debbie changes into something that is light years from frumpish and in the dimension of slutkateer. She comes in late to class but has an apple for Peter. During class, Debbie manages to trip Meegan. Peter needs a volunteer to help him with a garage sale at his house. Debbie and Meegan both volunteer for it.

Later, Debbie and Janie are talking. Meegan pushes Debbie down and warns her to stay away from the garage sale.


Now, I'm angry...

The cops try to talk with Debbie about the fire. Debbie gets in the house. Granny runs the cops off. Rose has started a journal about how she loves Peter.

Peter and his girlfriend, Marilyn, are at his place. Let the porking begin to show Peter is great at everything he does. She wants to go to the desert this weekend. Peter can’t go with the garage sale. She wants him to postpone it. Peter is always working. Marilyn leaves.

Debbie heads to school. Todd follows her. Debbie tramps herself up mightily. Todd apparently thinks playing keep-away is great next to half-naked Rose McGowan.

At school, Meegan is pushed down a flight of stairs. She then does a decent impression of Nancy Kerrigan. Janie knows Debbie did it.

The cops pay a visit to Debbie’s old school. Debbie stalked a teacher who eventually got involved with her mother.

Debbie returns home. She finds the dog has scattered her unmentionables. Granny sees the underwear and flies into a rage. She canes Debbie and forces her to finish cleaning the attic.

That night, the dog is lured to the attic. Debbie gets the dog into a steamer trunk and tosses bug bomb in it, too.

Slutty Debbie goes over to Peter’s place. They setup for the garage sale.


Sorry, got distracted...
People including Janie start coming by.

Granny is searching through the house looking for her dog. She accidentally discovers Debbie’s journal.

Peter and Debbie clean up after the sale. While in the house, Debbie hears Marilyn leave a message and deletes it. She starts roaming about the house and sniffing his clothes. Peter drops her at her house and drives off. Granny is watching Debbie get out of the car.

Debbie heads to her room, finding Granny there. Granny is going to call the school to get Peter fired. The police will put her in a reform school.

Psycho Debbie grabs the cane and beats Granny to death.

The steamer trunk from the attic contains donations for a mission trip to South America. I’ll give you one guess why it is so heavy.

Debbie begins unspiritualizing the house: burning the crosses, Bibles, etc…

Peter heads home after a game of basketball. He finds candles lit on the table, assuming it is Marilyn. He hears the shower, ready to join her. Guess who’s in the shower?


Hey, sailor fancing meeting you here...
Peter will discuss things with her when she’s not wet and naked. Marilyn calls. Debbie is still hot for teacher. Peter keeps trying to get “There is no us” across to her. Debbie leaves.

At class, Peter is lecturing when another teacher brings in flowers for him. The bald teacher knows who the flowers are from, he read the card. Mr. Baldy thinks Peter is boffing Debbie. How these teachers manage to discuss this in a hallway in earshot of Janie is a mystery.

Debbie has Peter’s answering machine code. She checks his messages from Marilyn. Debbie calls and leaves a message for Marilyn.

The cops talk with the social worker who knows Debbie.

Todd is dropped off across the street from where Debbie lives.

Debbie is writing in her journal when Todd comes over for a visit. He starts hitting on her. He knows she and Peter have been dangling participles. Todd will have to report this to the principal unless Debbie demonstrates her conjugation on him. They go to the attic. Todd is all touchy-feely. Debbie changes her mind about letting him use his gerund. Todd gets the immortal nad shot. Debbie grabs a ski pole that Todd accidentally impales.

Debbie is digging a hole in the backyard to bury Todd. She has him wearing a lovely blue dress.

Marilyn and Peter are practicing their conjugation. Suddenly, it is Debbie instead. Peter awakens from the dream.

The principal wants to talk with Peter. Mr. Baldy didn’t tell her about the boffing incident. She wanted to know about the basketball game, gambling for grades.

Anna, the social worker who the cops talked with, pays a visit to check on Debbie and her grandmother. In the backyard is a recently filled in hole. Debbie learns her mother was abused. Anna sees some bruises on Debbie’s arm thinking she is abused, too. She’ll take her away from the house and mentions the cops. Debbie clocks her upside the head with a tea kettle. Debbie has to stay, has a date.

Peter arrives at the restaurant at 7:30 and is taken to the table. Debbie is sitting there waiting for him. Peter has a deer in the headlights look. A couple of guys have been hitting on Debbie. Peter tries getting her to leave. He gets into a fight with these guys.

Later, Marilyn finds Peter at the police station. He hasn’t figured how disturbed Debbie is yet. They drive to his place where Debbie is waiting.

Peter gets the tasted knocked out of his mouth for not loving Debbie.

Later, Debbie is crying thinking Peter used her. Well the tears stop when the bloodlust arises.

Finally, the coroner thinks the burn victims were stabbed. The cops pay a visit to the Debbie’s current principal. Peter burst into the meeting. No one finds Debbie. She is obsessed with Peter. We learn her father was killed by her mother. And, Debbie was abused, too. Debbie calls Peter. The cops and Peter rush to the house.

A cop is shot in the leg by the shotgun toting Debbie. Through a door, Peter tries convincing her to surrender to the police. A single shot is fired. Peter rushed in sees Debbie’s body and a blood spatter on the wall.

That night, Marilyn heads home. Peter is driving around. Eventually, Peter realizes the body he saw wasn’t Debbie’s. It had a tattoo around the wrist like Janie.

Marilyn is all alone in the house when the power is cut. Debbie and Marilyn fight.

Peter speeds back to his house, picking up a cop after him. Unfortunately, the cop wipes out on his bike.

Peter gets home and rushes in. He keeps Debbie from killing Marilyn.

The cop rushes in with his gun drawn. He ignores Peter’s warning about a crazy knife wielding psycho teenager. Debbie slits the cop’s throat for threatening Peter.

Debbie has a knife on Marilyn. Peter professes his love for her. He rushes Debbie who stabs him in the shoulder. Peter falls over as Marilyn is by his side.

The cops have arrived. Peter is taken off in an ambulance. Debbie is taken away in a police car.


What I say:

You can see this movie was inspired or stole directly from Alicia Silverstone's The Crush. But that was a teenager ripoff of Fatal Attraction without the porking. Because, that would be morally irresponsible. But, is a descendant of it. Crazy girl imagines a relationship with an older guy and will stop at nothing to win him. Well, a sequel was made starring Jodi Lynn "I was Nash Bridges' daughter" O’Keefe instead of Rose McGowan. I expect it to a DVD bargain bin sooner or later. And, I have a feeling Jodi Lynn O'Keefe won't be able to compare with Rose McGowan.

Could Peg Shirley, Debbie’s Granny, be more evil? First off, Hollywood can’t get rid of the idea if you have any religious beliefs, you are a lunatic. Piper Laurie as Carrie’s mom demonstrates it better than anything I could say. And, if the parent or legal guardian is a religious lunatic, we must make the teenage girl Cinderella. Sissy Spacek’s transformation before the dance just needs a fairy godmother to match the fairy tale. Granted Carrie is nothing like the stalker teenage girl genre, but the similarities to make the parental figure absolutely deserving of death is commonplace in these movies. How do we make the religious fanatical parental figure more e-villlllll? Well, they can beat the tormented Cinderella until she gets her bloody revenge.

The movie does not make Debbie completely evil. However, we are never sure if she is unhinged or just very determined to get her man. We have to have some unlikable characters for her to whack. But, at least, one likeable character has to be killed to make her evil instead of the hero. We couldn’t have a mixed message about the ambiguities of killing. Dirty Harry can wipe out flocks of people and that’s ok. But, Debbie can’t whack people even if she feels justified. The few seconds in the movie rattling off why she’s disturbed is just thrown in out of the blue.

My biggest complaint isn't with the logic of Rose McGowan able to hide the bodies or being able to fake her death like Natasha Henstridge did in Species so the police think she's dead. It's the teacher. This guy being the biggest chick magnet of all. I think Andrew Dice Clay is a more believable ladies man than this guy. He's an English teacher who loves poetry, can outplay teenage ballplayers half his age. And, if that isn't bad enough, he is apparently a love machine to his girlfriend. What's worse is the teenager girls who swoon over him. He fights the temptation of Rose, but is morally obligated to oogle her. Well, to quote from a Tractors song "She got it stacked to the ceiling got it sticking in your face." That is a pretty accurate description of Rose McGowan and her fashions in this movie. Not that, I'm complaining.

This movie is a guilty pleasure. Normally, a movie like this is hard to stomach with such bland characters. But, Rose McGowan's performance stands not because she's running around looking like an escapee from a Brittany Spears video with fewer morals. Not that, I'm complaining. We have Rose McGowan who apparently has a compulsion to kill whenever someone mentions her mother. Seeing her do it the second time, I had to start chuckling. You can almost see the little murderous light bulb flicker over her head. Her burying the basketball player in a blue dress while explaining how no means no is another chuckling moment. Also, she's in ultra-sluttay mode. Well, if you get this movie expecting to see her McGowans, you will be disappointed. There are other movies that have more of her in them. One rhymes with Boom Leneration. But, her talent as an actress is overlooked due to her frankly being a babe.

The movie is drawn out with the 2 cops trying to investigate. But, they come across more as trying to do a poor man’s cop impressions from Law & Order than anything else. Instead of Jerry Orbach sardonic comments, they keep having spelling and word power contests.

A few questions are bound to pop up in a movie like this. One, why was Janie killed? Everyone else had arguably provoked Debbie. Janie did overhear the teacher who thought Peter was a little too close with Debbie. If she told Debbie about the news, it seems reasonable to kill the messenger of bad news. Two, why wasn’t Meegan whacked? She was the one who provoked Debbie the most and only ended up falling down a flight of stairs.

Some things in the script just don’t make any sense at all. Would any brain-dead jock go out of his way to torment a new girl like he would a nerd? A better question is would a brain-dead jock not be ogling Rose McGowan if given a chance. I would love to find out what the supposed dress code for this high school is.

I have rattled some of my problems with this movie. And, the only reason to watch this movie is Rose McGowan. She definitely cuts her way through a lackluster script with relish for this turkey. Very few people can carry a movie that seems so worn out and tired. But, having a hot actress to ogle can only go so far for a movie. But, if said actress actually has some talent, she can elevate a movie to a higher plateau. I must refuse to make any more references to anything else being “elevated.”



2 1/2 NINJAS

Quotable Dialogue

"How strange you didn't sound Asian on the phone..."
"Idle hands are the devil's work."
"Call me Peter."
"What's with Malibu Barbie?"
"You should be educating them, not playing with them..."
"Hasta la vista, Bebe..."
"Don't you lie to me you blastphemous slut!!!"
"Are all your friends deviant men twice your age?"
"I am not 'boffing' my student!"
"No means no. Don't you guys get that?"


Morals of the Story

Kitchen knives are best kept in the living room.
Teachers can grab students like police arresting suspects.
Teachers engage in betting to determine student grades.
Cops have random spelling contests.
Teachers will admire tattoos of students.
Security codes are written on the bottom of the answering machine.
"Boffing" is so much classier when said by a balding older man.