Plot:
In a swamp, a nature photographer is paddling along in a canoe. We get the stock footage like shots of various reptiles and amphibians. Then, we spot some litter
in the pristine lake. Well, not so pristine, seeing the murky liquids dumped into the lake… Pickett Smith keeps paddling along. By the way, this is Sam Elliott without a
mustache.
Cut to a speedboat. Clint our resident beer-swilling boat driver and his hippie like sister, Karen, are out for a ride. Pickett is paddling along minding his own
business when Clint almost runs down Pickett’s canoe. He falls into the lake. Clint comes around to render aid. As Pickett is helped aboard, manages to knock
Clint into the lake. They tow the canoe behind them offering to repay any of Pickett’s damages.
The sour cranky old man, Jason Crockett watches the boat and canoe pull up to their small dock. I should mention picture Burgess Meredith from Grumpy
Old Men without the charm and amp up the disgust and crossbreed that with the father from Creepshow who wanted his cake and you’ve got Jason
Crockett.
Clint and Karen invite Pickett to stay for lunch. Frogs are all over the island. Pickett is introduced to the crotchety Jason. Pickett tries using the phone but the
line is dead. The rest of the family meets Pickett.
Clint and Pickett get cleaned up. Frogs keep hopping around menacingly. Yes, menacingly hopping…That’s a bad thing..
Jason sends one of the ubiquitous cousins Martin to do something.
On the lawn, Jason is chewing the family out for not being punctual. Clint’s kids Jay and Tina bring a frog that is thrown away by another one of the adult
cousins. Jason talks with Pickett about the frogs. The family wants to use oil, etc… He wants Pickett to look around and think of something that might get rid
of the frogs.
As Pickett is about to head out, Jason asks for him to try to find missing handyman who went out spraying. The nature walk ensues. But, frogs are always
around. He finds several dead frogs the poison sprayer. A string of dead animals lead to body of the dead handyman. The sprayer is covered with snakes. Pickett
takes the jeep back to the mansion.
That night, frogs are all around the mansion, always watching. Pickett arrives back. The family is enjoying each other’s company with the surly Jason, too. We
can tell these are bad people they complain about spending money to control pollution. Frogs are still hopping around the mansion. Pickett doesn’t mention to the
family about the dead handyman, tries the phone again still dead. Dinner is about to be served, we see a snake hanging from the chandelier.
Pickett tells Jason about the body. The family celebrates every July because of the birthdays Jason, Karen, and couple of cousins. Jason invites Pickett to stay
the night. Frogs are hopping up to the windows of the mansion but can’t get in. Hearing a scream, they rush to the dining room, where Colonel Green was killed
with a candlestick... Sorry, wrong movie…
The family sees the snake hanging from the chandelier until the pistol packing Jason shoots it. It is dinner time, now…
Frogs are still watching. And this is a little hard to follow the random day for night shots followed by actual night shots. Pickett ponders why the animals are
acting so strangely. Jason will spray them. They have a big discussion over whether man is the master of nature or should live in harmony with it.
Clint’s wife is nagging him about everything. Clint is a former college athlete trying to relive his glory days. But, with a wife like that I can understand him needing
the magic bottle that takes away the pain. When Jason dies, Clint and his family will be on Easy Street from the inheritance.
Karen finds Pickett and small talk assaults us. Karen knows something funny is going but not what it is.
The next day, the frogs are still menacing. Jason is wheeled to some coffee. Clint’s kids wish Jason a happy birthday. Frogs are all over the place. The kids
light some fireworks, scaring the frogs…
We know that Karen wants some non mustached Sam Elliott lovin’.
The birthday decorations are being set up. Clint has the manly pillow fight with his cousin Michael and wins. Clint is such a pillar of modern 70s morality as to
hit on Michael’s girlfriend in front of his own wife. More frogs are watching them. Pickett heads off to look around the island. Jason sends Michael to check on the
phone lines. Pickett thinks the Crockett’s have used too many toxins on the swamp. Michael heads off in the jeep…
Pickett takes a walkabout while Michael is checking the phone lines. Guess what Michael? You’re on Candid Frog Cam. Picket finds a rattlesnake and goes
around it, thus not incurring the ire of the animals. Michael, on the other hand, stops the jeep to shoot a bird and goes to retrieve it. Imminent animal revenge must
ensue. Michael falls and is attacked by tarantulas that drop on him. It looks like part of a peat bog is attacking him. Michael has a death scream before Pickett
walks past the body which has been concealed by a large amount of spider webs.
Loopy Aunt Iris sends the David Cassidy looking cousin, Kenneth, to the greenhouse. Stuart, his dad, chews him out for losing the pillow fight with Clint. Iris
heads off into the forest with her butterfly net.
Lizards scurry into greenhouse before Kenneth arrives. Kenneth begins clipping some flowers unaware that more lizards sneak into the greenhouse.
Frogs are watching the birthday festivities. Clint keeps trying to put the moves on Belle, the model girl friend of Michael, while his wife stews about it. Karen is
sent to find Kenneth. Pickett checks again on the phone which is still dead.
In the greenhouse, Kenneth keeps clipping flowers. Lizards start knocking over various bottles of chemicals creating a poisonous gas. Kenneth tries cleaning it
up as the lizards keep knocking over bottles of chemicals. Kenneth dies from the fumes, before lizards crawl over him.
Clint’s wife is starting to get very scared and wants to leave. Jason wants the party to go on like it always has before…as the frogs keep watching…These are
some voyeuristic frogs. Every breath you take, I’ll be watching you…
Pickett finds Kenneth’s body in the greenhouse. Belle is pretty hysterical be seeing the body. The frogs are hopping mad…
Belle tells the Crockett clan that Kenneth is dead. Pickett needs Clint’s help. Frogs are on the birthday cake as the kids are taken inside.
Pickett and Clint move Kenneth’s body as the frogs keep their vigil. Iris is out in the forest and is being watched. Stuart, Kenneth’s dad, is looking for her. She is
wandering around is suddenly being choked by a vine and isn’t. She walked into a vine. Stuart keeps looking for her.
Iris walks around some frogs and is almost bitten by a rattlesnake. She tries running away but is surrounded by snakes. Iris screams and runs into the brush. A
PG version of an Evil Dead tree assault begins. Well, not exactly, but seems like it inspired Sam Raimi. She stops to take and breath and falls into a bog
and is covered with leaches. A water moccasin goes into the bog as yet another frog watches. The bloody Iris escapes the bog but is bitten by a rattlesnake.
Hours later, Stuart is still searching for her unaware he’s being followed by an alligator. Yes, here is a man that is unaware of giant carnivore following behind
him. He is suddenly surrounded by alligators. Stuart wrestles an alligator in the swamp both are covered in oil. Well, the alligator has a oily Stuart for dinner, while
the frogs watch on approvingly.
Karen is starting to think maybe everyone should leave. Jason refuses to let anyone leave and ruin his party. Pickett reveals that the handyman, Grover, is
dead. Jason wants this discussion ended. Pickett wants to fight. I’m not sure who he wants to fight but better get the non mustached Sam Elliott on your side. He
thinks that Iris, Stuart, and Michael are dead. They need to get off the island now. Jason forbids anyone from leaving. Maybelle and Charles, the hired help, are
scared enough to want to leave. Belle wants to leave, too. Pickett warns Jason to prepare for war…
The frogs watch Clint who takes Belle and the others across the lake. They pull up at the dock of a bait shop. As Belle and the others leave, Clint tries to find
the owner of the bait shop owner. No people are around anywhere, but everything is left behind like they left in a hurry. A large number of bird dive bomb Belle
and the others. Frogs are still watching them.
On the island, Pickett gets a gun, while Karen fixes a drink for Jason.
On the mainland, the boat is gone. The line was cut or bitten. Clint swims to the boat being chased by several snakes. His wife watches from the island. It looks
like Clint was bitten. She runs from the house to the edge of the lake. Clint arrives at the boat and is really bitten falling into the lake, drowning…
And now for the most embarrassing death of the entire movie, the wife is standing in shin deep water watching Clint drown. A large turtle heads into
action. Frogs watch with joy.
Frogs are all around the house. Pickett rushes outside with a can of gasoline to set them on fire. And, the frogs retreat from him… Clint’s kids want to know
about their parents. The daughter starts to head outside. Pickett and Karen see the boat drifting on the lake. Pickett thinks this is the last chance to get out of
Dodge…
Inside, Jason orders the family to stay. Karen is taking the kids and wants Jason to go, too. Jason starts his with me or against me speech. He claims he’ll be
fine. Pickett takes a shotgun with him.
Pickett, Karen, and the kids leave. Jason ignores Karen trying to tell him goodbye. Our intrepid survivors race to the lake past the frogs. The frogs high tail it
to the mansion. Pickett spots the turtle munching on the kids’ mother.
The canoe is in the lake as they paddle for the mainland. But, the canoe snags… Pickett gets out of the canoe and wrestles a snake. Other snakes head for
him. Have you ever wanted to see a shirtless Sam Elliott smack water with a canoe paddle, this is your chance. He frees the canoe. In open water, Pickett shoots
an alligator. They arrive at the bait shop and see frogs…
They pass the same places that Belle and the others passed. Actually find Belle’s luggage. They run down the road and flag down a passing car for a ride. Only,
in the 70s, could a dirty man, woman, and 2 kids carrying a shotgun get a ride without any problems. The lady who picked them up hasn’t seen anyone in the past
few hours. She was picking up her son from summer camp. Her son has a new pet from summer camp: a frog.
That night, on the island, the frogs are jumping through the windows. Jason is all alone and gets another drink. He notices the mounted anima heads on every
wall of his study. He’s getting very unnerved when the phone rings but no one is on the other end. Frogs are in the house. We are assaulted with extreme animal
head close-ups. Jason hears the cries of the animals falling out of his wheelchair, dying. Frogs start jumping on him as the lights to the mansion are cut.
Credits roll. By the way, you must watch after the credits for a special surprise…
Caucasian, it's what for dinner...
