Plot:
Cemetery is set up for a funeral. A hearse arrives, follows by a large number of bikers. Pallbearers carry the casket to the grave. There they drape the
deceased’s biker vest over the casket. Several leave a few knives. One chick even leaves her bra.
A couple of cops are watching the procession from a distance. I think we learn the dead biker was a police contact. They’ve spent months trying to break the
gang and get their leader.
Some mobsters spot the cops as the bikers leave.
Snake claims to be the new leader to fellow biker 6 Pack. Hellcats credits roll as their crappy theme song plays over psychedelic impressionist
paintings.
Dave and Linda are out for a drive. Some mobster goons are following them. Dave and Linda arrive at a rundown park. Mobster gets a rifle. While Linda
chews Dave out, he goes to get her some cigarettes left in the car. Mobster is assembling the rifle, and gunshot is heard. Linda daintily rushes to the car and sees
Dave dead.
Dave’s brother, Sergeant Monte Chapman arrives. He was brought by 2 senators. This guy has some pull. He greets Linda. Later on he reveals he’s
thinking about going after the biker gang. We see a biker outside the window. Next thing, Linda is riding with Monte on a bike, guess he bought the one he saw. As
bad 60s music assails us, they arrive at the Hellcats hangout, clubhouse, whatever it’s called.
Arm wrestling, drug packaging is going on. 6 Pack hits on Candy Cave. These are the names given in this movie. He is about to spew beer on her but hits
Monte instead. Hellcats watch them warily, even though the drug packaging continues. One of them starts talking “bikerese” to the point make Stone
Cold believable. Eye-patch Chick, Rita, starts hitting on Monte and, Linda doesn’t like it. Bartender calls the mobsters.
Mr. Big has several girls in various swimsuits. Ewwwwwwww, Mr. Big is making out with a chick in a bikini old enough to be his daughter….
Raucous party at the biker bar, half of the bikers are unconscious, or badly dancing to bad 60s music. It looks like the cameraman is about 3 inches away from
the dancers. Did the drugs in the 60s keep people from realizing the music sucked like a Hoover?
I'm freakin' out man...
Bikers toss Hiney on the floor. Hiney is ranting about how he worked on a banana boat. He had a bad acid trip and then woke to remember he was a member
of a crappy biker gang.
Mobster arrives. Monte is arm wrestling at this point. Mobster has new orders for Shelia, the top biker chick. Tries hitting on her, she shoots him down in a
blaze of disgust. He grabs her when Monte comes to her aid. Monte and Linda decide this is the right place. Monte starts hitting on Rita, for some reason or
other. They’re celebrating; this could be one of the earliest mosh pits.
Painter is painting some topless chick, don’t see anything. When random bikers arrive, they push the artist down. They close in on the girl and the scene
ends. By the way, the artist is the producer for this movie.
Biker picnic, vehicles arrive, they toss the trumpet carrying biker in a nearby pond. Biker dance party with crappy music ensues. Several couples are making
out. Rita has an eye on Monte and it’s her only one. Hiney is on another bad trip. A rival gang arrives. Snake races the Rival Gang Leader. Everybody is watching
the race. We don’t see anything just hear the engines. This is a cheap way to show a race.
Monte and Linda will see this through. Snake arrives back the winner. Rival Gang Leader kicks over Snake’s bike. So, they have a fight using chains. Circled
by screaming bikers, a rival gang member grabs Snake. Monte breaks in grabbing, Rival Gang Leader. His speech about peace not war wins all the hearts of the
bikers and everyone is happy and overjoyed.
Guy wants to drag Monte. It’s not a drag race. 2 modified bikes that have been converted into 3-wheelers are headed in opposite directions. Guy’s feet are tied
to one 3 wheeler and he holds on to a bar fastened to the axle of the other 3 –wheeler. The rules are you have to hold onto the bar for a count of 15. At 13, the guys
looses his grip and drug behind the 3-wheeler over a dirt trail.
Monte is subjected to the same treatment. He holds out for the whole 15 count. Monte has won a make out session with Shelia. A rusty set of springs and
blanket are carried off into the woods. Monte and Shelia get there and dirty biker lovin’ ensues.
Linda is getting hit on by one of the bikers. She goes off with the guy, getting a small bag of powder. Linda beats him into the ground much to the amusement
of the bikers.
In the afterglow of dirty biker lovin’, Monte tries pumping Shelia for information. She isn’t talking.
Bikers are partied out. Monte returns to Linda. They know the drugs are brought in from Mexico. Shelia has a job for Linda because Rita is partied her eye out.
Some chick is pleading with 2 guys playing craps in a cabin about needing “it.” They tell her she has to earn “it.” Hearing bikes in the distance, Shelia, Linda, and
Betty arrive. Guy tries hitting on Linda. Strung-out chick is pleading for some more “stuff.” The drugs are hidden in each bike. As flamenco music plays, they ride
off into the night.
Cop chases them; they split up taking different roads. Betty wipes out crashing her bike.
Linda and Shelia arrive at the clubhouse. Bartender tells them Betty is dead. Shelia calls Mr. Big who wants the drugs no matter the cost. The Hellcats have to
get what Betty carried in her bike. Hiney can’t believe that Betty is dead; she’s the one that took care of him during his bad trips. Bikers head off on a mission.
Biker sneaks into the police impound yard for Betty’s bike. Cops catch him searching the bike. Cops found the drugs earlier. During questioning, he claims to
have been told to get something from the bike, didn’t know what it was.
Shelia goes to meet with Mr. Big and, Linda followed her. Shelia is tied up because Linda followed her. Mr. Big questions Linda. Monte was following Linda
and checks out the building and is caught, too.
At police headquarters, the biker’s lawyer arrives.
Bikers are moping after the death of Betty. Hiney vows revenge.
Monte is roughed up for not talking. He’s taken to the same room as Shelia. Mr. Big is getting ready to leave. The Hellcats are being watched.
The biker tells the cops about the big shots.
Linda tires to win Mr. Big’s confidence vowing to do what he wants. Shelia and Monte cut the ropes tying them up. Monte beats Mr. Big until he pulls out the
gun. Shelia escapes to call the cavalry, granted it’s a drunken smelly, stupid cavalry, but a cavalry nonetheless.
Bartender draws a gun to keep the Hellcats from leaving the bar. He is the spy. Well, he’s knocked put and left with a banana peel on his head. Hellcats are to
the rescue!!!
Mr. Big’s mistress is strangled by a goon.
The Hellcats are on the road.
Linda and Monte are tied up again and taken away. Shelia sees it. These are Sunday afternoon driving Hellcats. The police find the unconscious bartender at
the bar. Shelia flags down the cavalry.
Mr. Big, Linda, and Monte arrive at the harbor. Linda and Monte are put ion the cargo hold of a scowl until they can dump their bodies in the ocean.
Hellcats are still on the road. Is this supposed to build suspense?
Mr. Big wants the scowl ready pronto when strangling goon arrives. Hellcats to the rescue. Hiney leads the charge, overpowering Mr. Big and goons by dog
piling on them. Several bikers tossed in the harbor. Linda and Monte are freed. In the process, Snake is shot. The hand-tied Monte chases shooting goon.
Monte overpowers the goon.
The police arrive.
Later, Monte is on the phone learns that Snake didn’t make it. Hellcats might get off pretty easy. Linda is leaving the city. Monte has some depositions and legal
things to do. He’s going to keep the bike. Linda drives away.
Monte hops on his hog to escape the crappy Hellcats theme song.
