Plot:
In Mount Olympus, Hercules wants to go to Earth. Zeus wants him to stay on Olympus. As the credits roll, Hercules pleads with Zeus how he is bored on Earth
and wants to hang on Earth. If you pick up the idea, that Hercules is a pretty whiny godling, you’d win the soundtrack to this movie featuring more mandolin music than
a bluegrass festival would allow. Hercules is going no matter what. Zeus gets angry tosses one of his lightning bolts that look like rebar bent in the shape of a lightning
bolt and spray painted silver at Hercules. The many toga-clad goddesses plead for Hercules.
On an airplane, a little old lady sees Hercules falling through the sky beside the wing.
The goddesses are begging for Zeus to save Hercules. Well, everyone but Juno, Zeus’s wife. She has a problem with Zeus running around and cheating on
her. They all watch Hercules in a crystal ball. Hercules has landed in the ocean. Zeus sends a ship to find him. After the ship picks him up, Hercules is drying
off. He talks with the captain. The crew thinks Herc is batty. They sign him up to work on the ship. The ship is heading for New York City. New York City?
Hercules is tossing several of the shipmates around. He refuses to work. Stock footage of New York City ensues. Herc leaves the ship for the city. A group of
guys try to flatten him. But, they are knocked into the harbor. Pretzi grabs Herc and runs off. Herc captures a forklift. Pretzi manages to flag down a taxi for
them. We get some komedy about Apollo. Herc tastes one of Pretzi’s pretzels. They decide to get off in Central Park.
Herc is supposed to pay the taxi-driver, but has no money. Herc thinks the driver should be grateful that the son of Zeus, mighty Hercules has ridden in his chariot
will be enough payment. The cabbie is going to rough them up. Herc makes quick work of him and puts the cab on its side. Pretzi grabs Herc and runs off into Central
Park.
Professor Camden and his daughter Helen are watching a track practice in the park. Pretzi explains the athletes to Herc. Herc is going to demonstrate to track team
the proper way to throw a discus.
I am a android human killing lawn dart...
The Herc against the track team montage begins. Pretzi is bragging about knowing Herc and makes a bet that Herc will beat
them. Herc beats the distance jumper. Pretzi gets his money. Professor Camden and Helen invite Pretzi and Herc to tea.
Pretzi and Herc go to tea. Pretzi “borrows” a copy of a Greek mythology book. Helen greets them. Herc is all Rico Suavay. Helen leaves to welcome someone
else. Pretzi tries explaining not to be Don Juan Delanooch as Jay might say. Rod, one of the athletes from this afternoon, meets them. Herc asks what would be a
perfectly innocent Greek god question if Rod and Helen are hooked up. Rod takes umbrage and tries giving some umbrage to Herc by punching him in the gut, to no
effect. Herc lifts Rod over his head Pretzi tries convincing Herc to let Rod go.
Zeus watches all of this getting madder because Herc always gets into trouble.
Helen and her father are talking. Father likes Herc. Helen is going out with Herc that night.
A night watchman at the zoo is making his rounds. Helen and Herc are taking a carriage ride through the park. The watchman realizes a grizzly bear has
escaped. The cops learn about it, too. Helen and Herc are talking about Greece when the fakest looking grizzly bear rushes the carriage. Ever want to see the
Terminator fight a guy is fake grizzly suit? This is your chance. Herc subdues the bear by the time the cops arrive.
Herc is now the toast of the town. Pretzi has a scheme for Herc to go into wrestling to make money. We get the wrestling montage as Herc becomes more
famous. Several less than reputable characters wish to have Herc join their stable and manage him. They buy out Pretzi finally after mentioning how bad things can
happen to him. Pretzi is convinced to sign, now. The mobsters leave. Pretzi reads part of the book of Greek mythology about Hercules.
On Mount Olympus, Zeus calls for Nemesis, unfortunately not Cynthia Rothrock. Hercules has brought dishonor to the noble name of Zeus. Nemesis is charged
with punishing Herc. Mercury begs to bring Herc back because, he’s childish. All the goddesses would rather have Mercury retrieve him. Juno wants Herc to be
trapped on Earth. Zeus sends Mercury to retrieve Herc.
Down in NYC, Herc and Helen pass a movie poster for a Hercules movie. Arnie takes umbrage; the guy doesn’t look like him. They see a statue of Atlas. Herc
wants a picture of it because Atlas will get a kick out of a statue that doesn’t look anything like him. They keep touring the city.
A helicopter lands and, Mercury gets out of it. He finds Herc and tells him that Zeus wants him to return. Pretzi overhears this in the next room. If Herc stays,
Zeus will send Nemesis after him. Mercury is worried for what might happen to Herc. Mercury jumps out the window and flies away. Pretzi sees this and faints.
Helen, her father, and Rod are talking about Herc. They think Herc is slightly off his rocker. Pretzi arrives ranting about a guy jumping from a window and flying
away.
Zeus is tossing lightning bolts around and calls for Nemesis. Later, Juno wants to know what Herc’s punishment is. He is to be banished to Pluto’s realm for 100
years. Juno wants to revoke Herc’s divinity and be human. Juno can take his powers away temporarily. If he’s human, he can be killed.
In a bar, Herc and Helen have some drinks.
Pluto meets with Nemesis, a demigod would be a big prize if he could get Herc. Juno has a plan to kill Herc after he becomes a mortal. Nemesis leaves.
In NYC, Pluto travels around the city before meeting Herc. Pluto offers him pick of the hot women in the underworld if he signs a little contract. Herc refuses
and wants to be left alone. Pluto leaves.
Pluto meets with the mobsters. He makes a bet with them for $20,000 at 5:1 for Herc to lose. The mobsters think they got this one in the bag. Pluto heads back to
the underworld.
Herc is challenged by someone else to determine who the strongest man in the world is. It is the biggest strong man competition ever.
Herc readies for the contest. The mobsters meet with him. Herc will be in big trouble if he loses. Big trouble.
On a variety show, it will be Monstro the Magnificent against Hercules the Great. They start off at 500 pounds which both of them lift. They move on to 750
pounds, both of them get through it. Now the weight is up to 1000 pounds which Herc is unable to lift. Herc storms off. Pretzi grabs him and they beat feet.
Zeus sees that Herc is in trouble. But, how has Herc lost his divinity? Nemesis is to be brought to Zeus.
The mobsters are after Herc. Helen and her father drive off and are chased by the mobsters. Herc and Pretzi are on foot. Herc has to stop the mobsters, fears
for Helen’s safety. They manage to horse-nap a carriage and chase after the mobsters.
Herc, horses can't keep up with Downtown traffic.
Helen’s car is being chased by the mobsters who are being chased by Herc into the park. Herc is throwing mobster off the chariot. As the car chase continues,
the chariot finally falls apart. Herc and Pretzi get in Helen’s car. They ride off until the car runs out of gas. They lead Herc into a building.
Nemesis is brought to Zeus. She is told to tell who ordered her to remove Herc’s divinity.
The mobsters surround the building. Herc and the rest are in a warehouse. He holds the mobsters back but is nowhere as strong as he used to be.
Nemesis finally tells the Juno made her do it. Zeus is going to have Herc get out this mess himself this time.
In the warehouse, Herc is being tackled by the mobsters. Professor, Pretzi, and Helen get clear of the danger.
The goddesses want to send help to Herc. Mercury gets Atlas and Samson. Suddenly, 2 loin-clothed guys attack the mobsters. Herc is with Helen as Atlas and
Samson take care of things.
Snuka jumping from above the cage...
Zeus is rooting them on until he orders Atlas and Samson to be sent away. The goddesses take responsibility for aiding Herc. Zeus is
unhappy with the mobsters beating Herc. Disrespecting Herc is insulting Zeus. The goddesses plead for Zeus to save Herc.
Mobsters can’t get to Herc. Zeus throws a thunderbolt and, Herc regains his strength. He easily defeats the mobsters.
On a skyscraper, Herc and Pretzi look over the city. Herc goes off by himself and apologizes to Zeus. Pretzi looks around and can’t find Herc.
Pretzi goes back to his apartment. He’s really sad: lost his friend and is a no body again. Turns on the radio, Herc talks to him. It isn’t Pretzi’s fault. Pretzi thinks
back to Herc tossing guys around. As long as he thinks of Herc, he’ll always be there. The little feeble Pretzi is consoled by that.
On Mount Olympus, Herc tells Zeus all about Earth. Zeus will consider what Herc has said. He takes his crown off.
Next to a plane, probably, the one we saw near the beginning, a little old lady sees Zeus on the wing. He happens to resemble a flying Amish.
We've been spending all out lives in an Amish Paradise.
