Plot:
Warning: this movie is completely incomprehensible and insane...And that my ten of fans is a very good thing....
A samurai runs to us as the credits roll.
A number of nobles are at the house of Mihoshi, husband of Ukodayjo. They have a tea ceremony.
Later, Sonny whips out his sword and catches the creepy Kashin Koji.
Won't that woman with a cell phone ever stop talking in the theater?
Koji reveals the future whoever marries Ukodayjo will rule the world. Sonny tries to warn Donjue not
to listen. However, Donjue forces Sonny from killing the uber-creepy Koji. Sonny storms off.
Koji talks further with Donjue. A ninja pops up and kills a hidden ninja. Koji will leave 4 ninjas to help Donjue.
Wild party for you to wear a lampshade 3 days later.
The noble must woo Ukodayju. Koji reveals an aphrodisiac will be needed before he vanishes.
In a forest, Kaggerlibbi learns the Crescent Sword Technique from Jiodao. Both of them are ninjas. They frolic in a field. Discussing want to get married but must get
permission from the master on the ninja clan. Suddenly, someone attacks them.
The evil ninjas attack and want Kaggerlibbi. Jiodao has her escape while he tries to stall the ninjas. Suddenly, an evil ninja performs the PUKE-FU technique. Jiodao’s
head is encased in the blown chunks. The evil ninjas leave.
Later, Sonny discovers the dead Jiodao. He cuts the dried vomit off and learns that Jiodao is alive. Only ninjas would feign death to escape such an attack.
Donjue has Kaggerlibbi. The ninjas will use her tears for the aphrodisiac. Kaggerlibbi is the twin sister of Ukodayjo. The formula is started to be mixed. They need the
Spider Tea Kettle to mix all the ingredients together.
Kaggerlibbi awakens surrounded by a circle of the evil Devil Monk ninjas. They try to make her cry. She jumps from a window. One of the ninjas jumps out after her to
keep her from hitting the ground. He is apparently able to fly backwards as if the movie footage is rewound.
Kaggerlibbi is able to rip her head off. The ninjas cut the head off a servant girl.
Donjue arrives and sees the girl is alive again though her head is on the wrong way. Kaggerlibbi’s body now has the servant girl’s head. She is now proclaimed to be
Lady Hellfire and is desperate for some monkey lovin’ from Donjue.
Jiodao searches for Kaggerklibbi.
One of the Devil Monks slaps the servant girl with Kaggerlibbi’s head. Her tears are collected for the potion.
The aphrodisiac is tested on a servant girl. Imagine the perfect definition of Queen’s Fat Bottom Girl. She immediately falls for the hateful bald ninja
and lets her bippies out of her kimono. He leaves with a fat nympho servant chick. The others ninjas leave to watch. Only Kaggerlibbi is left in the room.
Jiodao is still searching when tear girl tells him how Kaggerlibbi is dead. He recognizes the cross necklace. He flashbacks to better times.
Devil Monks sniff after tear girl. Seriously, one of them sniffs the ground like a bloodhound.
Jiodao learns about the Devil Monks and the scheme to make Ukodayjo fall in love with Donjue. Jiodao vows to avenge Kaggerlibbi and protect Ukodayju.
The Devil Monks arrive and mortally wounds tear girl. Jiodao escapes with her. The Devil Monks are still in hot pursuit.
Jiodao is able to decapitate one of the Devil Monks and escapes once more. He learns that the Devil Monks are immortal.
The fight rages on. Jiodao isn’t doing very well whopping evil ninjas. He uses a signal flare to summon help.
At the fortress of the Iga ninja, Jiodao’s wounds are tended. The master is disappointed with Jiodao’s behavior about wanting to marry. He is driven out of the clan
because he wants to fight the Devil Monks. Jiodao leaves with the Spider Tea Kettle.
Donjue needs Jiodao found. The aphrodisiac is needed before the Mihoshi peace ceremony. The plan is Ukodayju will driven to the throws of passion for Donjue. The
will terribly embarrass Mihoshi.
Lady Hellfire explains that Kaggerlibbi told Jiodao the plan. Donjue’s patent pending maniacal evil warlord laughter ensues for no apparent reason.
In a pagoda, Mihoshi, Ukodayju, and many others are as the peace ceremony ensues. Jiodao spies from afar.
A flock of ninjas approach as the ceremony continues.
The battle begins. Donjue is in the temple and alerts Mohoshi of the attacking ninjas.
A large number of flaming arrows are shot by the attacking monks. The pagoda is on fire. As everyone panics, the women are evacuated.
The Devil Monks arrive.
Jiodao grabs Ukodayju and runs off.
The temple finally collapses. Mihoshi learns a stranger grabbed his wife.
The next day, Jiodao and Ukodayju crawl out of the wreckage. Jiodao leaves to get some medicine to tend to her wounds.
Donjue learns that Jiodao has Ukodayju.
When Jiodao returns to where Ukodayju is. She asks why he is doing all of this for her and is strangely drawn to him, too. He tells her of Kaggerlibbi. She even has a
necklace like her ninja sister’s. Ukodayju wants to leave but isn’t well enough yet. They get a warning that the Devil Monks are around them.
The Devil Monks learn that Jiodao and Ukodayju have escaped.
On the road, Ukodayju is too weak to go any farther when the Devil Monks surround them. Jiodao stand the evil ninjas off.
In the morning, A band of black ninjas approach and tell Jiodao he needs a positive attitude to defeat the Devil Monks. A masked Sonny Chiba will take Ukodayju back
to Mihoshi.
AT the palace, Ukodayju tells her husband about Jiodao. Mihoshi is sure that Jiodao is a thief and believes Donjue to be trustworthy. Cutting off her explanations, he will
return the Spider Tea Kettle to Donjue.
Kashin Koji is told that the Spider Tea Kettle contains the aphrodisiac and Ukodayju is at Mihoshi’s palace.
The Devil Monks are patrolling. Jiodao strikes and kills one. He faces the chunk spewing Afroed Devil Monk.
None of my words can improve this image...
Jiodao vanishes. In the river, the Afroed Devil Monk surfaces near a puddle of blood. Jiodao surfaces with a knife.
Ukodayju wants to run off with Jiodao.
A love scene ensues. She asks who the black ninjas are. Jiodao realizes it isn’t Kaggerlibbi or even a dream. It’s actually Lady Hellfire who was burnt by Jiodao’s
cross. Devil Monks catch him.
Mihoshi tells Ukodayju that Jiodao will be decapitated. Donjue will also be visiting the palace, too.
Donjue learns that Ukodayju has run off from the castle. Lady Hellfire will impersonate the missing Ukodayju and fall hopelessly in love with Donjue. Should Mihoshi then
die, Donjue is up the ladder to world domination. If the real Ukodayju should return, she will be killed for being an imposter.
Ukodayju escapes by being disguised as a Devil Monk and later impersonates Lady Hellfire. She is able to free Jiodao. He is able to kill another of the Devil Monks. A ninja
that shoots needles from his eyes is the next contender against Jiodao.
Suddenly, the peasants are revolting. Jiodao and Ukodayju ride away. Jiodao must fight a Devil Monk that apparently is a big fan of the backbreaker from professional
wrestling. An airplane spin later, Jiodao falls down a hill and passes out.
Later, Mihoshi is glad that Ukodayju (actually Lady Hellfire) has returned. Let the loving ensue. Mihoshi is in bed with a maid (actually Lady Hellfire). He is putty in her
hands.
Jiodao awakens.
The Spider Tea Kettle is returned to Donjue. Mihoshi seems to be awfully stoned and agreeable. Well, he did engage in quite a bit of naked slip and slide.
Jiodao rides off.
The real Ukodayju returns to Mihoshi. The 2 Ukodayjues claim the other is the imposter. Mihoshi draws a dagger at the real Ukodayju and suddenly stabs the other
one. Laughing maniacally, he hari karies himself.
Chris Katton will star in the remake of James Mitchner's Shogun...
Donjue immediately claims control of the regime and clan. He’ll get the real Ukodayju.
Our evil warlord, Donjue, tries forcing Ukodayju to drink the aphrodisiac.
Jiodao dives into the fray and starts fighting the guards. Katana fu ensues. Donjue is holding Ukodayju as human shield. The Devil Monks arrive when the black ninjas
enter the battle and hold the guards back.
Jiodao fights the scythe slinging Devil Monk, who is decapitated and rotates like a merry-go-round.
We learn the black ninja is actually Sonny Chiba who kills Donjue.
Suddenly, the sky becomes dark and stormy. Sonny Chiba senses that Kashin Koji is nearby. He has Jiodao and Ukodayju stay on the ground. Jiodao stabs his own hand.
Ukodayju vanishes and cries for Jiodao.
Jiodao is pulled away into the darkness.
Jiodao walks over some flaming wreckage and is before Kashin Koji. Ukodayju is tied to cross.
Jiodao calls on the power to defeat the evil sorcerer, Koji.
Ukodayju professes her love for the heroic ninja. Jiodao jumps to the cross which catches fire. The lovers kiss as they are burnt alive.
Kashin Koji claims that whoever has Ukodayju’s heart will have the world in his hands as the credit rolls.
