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Indignant Gore To Bradley: "I'm Gonna Make You My Bitch"
NASHVILLE, Tennessee
Vice President Gore's campaign for the Democratic nomination took a serious turn today when he appeared on the ABC Sunday news program "This Week" and commented on the formidable challenge coming from former New Jersey Senator Bill Bradley by saying, "Senator, if you're listening, I'm gonna make you my bitch. Oh yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah."

Gore's comments were prefaced by a question from This Week co-host Cokie Roberts regarding Bradley's gains in both fundraising and polling.

Clearly expecting the question, Gore launched into a highly specific explanation of why, and how, he plans on making Bradley his bitch, stating that he [Gore] plans to "fuck him [Bradley] up so bad he won't know what hit him. That sorry punk will fail to effectively comprehend the nature of his beating once I have bestowed it upon him after the New Hampshire primary."

Continued Gore: "I will make him my bitch when it comes to health care, social security, the environment, education and experience. I will make him my bitch and dress him in white leather pants and leopard print halter tops. And he will love me for it."

Gore staffers speculated that Bradley might potentially be in for a "world of hurt," explaining that the bitch-making is expected to begin in New Hampshire and continue until the Democratic national convention.

Some independent political observers, notably Kevin Phillips of American Political Report, expressed doubts about Gore's ability to make Bradley his bitch. "The Gore campaign is hemorrhaging money and struggling a bit right now with its message," said Phillips. "If the Vice President isn't careful it could be he who winds up being made into the bitch."

While some have criticized the Vice President's comments as being demeaning to the stature normally associated with his office, trash-talking is not without precedent in presidential politics. While modern era examples are scarce, there have been other memorable moments such as Woodrow Wilson's description of Teddy Roosevelt as a "scurrilous mountain goat with swine testicles" in 1912 and William Jennings Bryan's reference to Grover Cleveland as a "boorish, inbred, flatulent neanderthal" in 1896.

Historians cite such anecdotes as being "true enough."




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