I don't view myself as the naughty little girl, nor do I view my Husband as "daddy". I don't feel childish when put through my punishment, either standing in the corner, or bare-bottomed over my Husband's knees. I feel like a woman who has broken a rule that we agreed upon and I am receiving the punishment that we agreed upon. To me it is a natural thing, the normal thing, not a childish thing.

Since the only other individual who may have performed this action in your life was your father, you see this as a possible need, or desire, for a father figure-- for a Daddy substitute. Maybe you endured the reverse, being ignored--maybe Daddy DIDN'T spank you... but the other kids' daddies spanked them. Either way, society's picture is one of a "parent" who spanks a child. It wasn't always like that you know. Even Hollywood presents us with an earlier era when ravishing, ornery, cantankerous starlet’s were regularly placed over the strong knees of their handsome co-stars. This was concluded as a normal, satisfactory, well-deserved, appropriate punishment and was in no way depicted as abnormal or taboo. Audiences loved it. John Wayne and Ricky Ricardo were not abusive and Maureen O'Hara and Lucille Ball were not the victims of a weird fetish. The man was respectfully applauded and his role as a leader well endorsed and reinforced by repeat scenes in millions of private bedrooms after the movies and shows were over. No one accused these women of wanting daddies.

Well, that era is gone. Men aren't seen spanking their wives and girlfriends when they clearly incite, ask for and need it. It's not good movie script I Guess. We've soared to politically correct heights, which frown on such desires for a spanking. You have to ask yourself, however, why it once was acceptable, yet now unacceptable. Who changed the rules?

As a side note, this may be a reach BUT... when spanking was a husband's duty and right, divorce rates weren't soaring. Could many of today's divorces have been avoided by some good, old fashioned spanking, manly directed upon the backsides of today's ornery, cantankerous 90's kind of women?

One problem today is that men need to be men, and women need men to be men! Men need to establish clear lines of authority and loving leadership; women need men to constantly, consistently "hold that line" drawn in the dirt! Does she dare cross that line? If a man allows a breach in the perimeter of this household or relationship, his other half will always find it and challenge of authority will commence. And why will she challenge and test his limits? Because a breach in the wall of this leadership makes her uncomfortable and feel vulnerable; also she'll fear a lack of protection and provision. It affects her level of trust in her chosen man. The challenge is one way of letting her man know there is a hole in the dike even if she put it there! She's not about to live in his village if the threat of a flood is her constant worry. On these occasions, gentlemen repair the hole or she'll find another leader who doesn't permit or allow such catastrophe to loom over her. She'll leave to find more strength and better, trustworthier protection, which are deduced in her mind as a greater, more affectionate husband/lover.

The issue of, "Is it a Daddy complex?" comes from a benign observation in the life of millions of women--we grew up under the leadership of a DAD. If you did not grow up with a father figure in your home, you certainly have witnessed the depiction of a typical, nuclear family. And you longed for that life, didn't you? Here Dad protects and provides the security and enforcement of family rules. Break the rules, and typically, he would administer punishment or give mom the ok to do so. In healthy father-daughter relationships Dad is the first love. He can fix everything and anything. He is playful and does neat stuff like, throw you high up into the air and always catches you. He makes sure you are clothed, watered, fed, and sheltered. He demands respect toward Mom. He is clearly the source from which little girls derive their sense of security. His responsibilities to his child are immense and he strives, to the best of his ability, to meet every need. But something happens as she matures...she finds another love.

We have lost the significance of a father walking his daughter down a church aisle toward a nervous groom. There is a statement being made on these important wedding days that has become totally oblivious under the hustle and bustle of perfecting the perfect 'performance' for the audience. We don't hear much anymore of the fact that Daddy is "giving her away". Painfully, even some Daddies have forgotten what they are doing.

Even the old tradition of tying an old shoe (along with the cans) to the bumper of car of the newlyweds was a symbol that the father was passing the responsibility to the groom. The old shoe was the symbol of the rubber sole in which was to be used for disciplinary reasons.

When a father places his daughter's hand into the hand of another man, after all the years of protecting and providing for her, he is saying something astounding. He is letting that young man know that she is now his responsibility. He is passing on his precious possession that he has worked so hard to protect and love, to another. And good Daddies let the young man know that he WILL perform an even better job. Daddy has to let go and for some it is a most difficult day. All the provisions, all the responsibilities that Dad had are being passed on to the groom. The groom has now accepted the hand of a woman who is used to a certain level of security and manly leadership. She expects the same worry free environment that Daddy always gave her. The groom is now responsible for this woman, just like daddy. But...there is one major difference. There is a sexual intimacy between this bride and groom that slams shut all doors of accusation towards a Daddy complex. Women don't want sexual intimacy with their fathers, however they do want the provision and security they are used to receiving from their fathers to flow through their husbands. No way does this very realistic expectation (that should have been discussed before marriage) label a woman as an insecure psychotic, looking for a daddy to love.

To the husband who says to his wife: "I will NOT be your father!" No, you're not expected to be. She doesn't want you to be her father either. She is asking for leadership. She is simply looking for strength in you to help her. Perhaps she is having some difficult times, or just needs you to protect her.

Many women denied the leadership of a father growing up seems to have this need as well. Instinctively or biologically (whichever your slant) women, honest with their emotions and not afraid of their feminity, admit to seeking strength in leadership from their man. Without the benefit of a male parent, there remains a strong drive for security from the opposite sex.

Sometimes we would like to think that we have evolved to a level where we are modern and don't need all this "macho-business". We would like to think that the days of the cave man dragging the woman by the hair to his cave is gone. We are more independent, more self-sufficient, and more capable of taking care of ourselves. However, our instincts will always be with us. The same instinct that controls us to clean everything in sight when the delivery date is near is the same instinct that wants to be protected and secure. If any of you have noticed that when you are pregnant your husband becomes more protective? He isn't simply doing this to be nice; it is just as much of an instinct for him.

In today's society, we have decided that spanking is not normal any more. It is a form of violence, and therefore should be banned. I find it ironic that as our families adopt this theory, we instead find more and more violence. We now have the problems of children shooting children. We have more problems with gangs than ever before. Did stopping the spanking cause all of this? No, I don't think so. However, spanking was one of many things that changed our society. We quit reinforcing the rules. We quit demanding respect. We quit thinking of others before ourselves. All of this plus the fact that our home becomes more of a place just to sleep has added to the problems of society.

It is my hope that we begin solving this problem by looking at our self and our family. To demand respect again, and to enforce the rules and laws set before us. To look at what we can to for others.