Polytecnyc Draig
hypocrisy
democracy
MeDiOcRiTy
MERITOCRACY
Welsh Flag
Cymraeg/ Welsh
Artificial Intelligence and Computer Games
Biological Weapons and Genetic Engineering
Dragon Polytechnic is moving toward a perfect meritocracy:
PAY SCALE: It is our philosophy that the more talented you are, the greater chance you'd work in industry. The fact that you are desperate to apply for a job with us is all the proof we need that you are worthless to society and undeserving of fair treatment. Therefore, in order to form a more perfect meritocracy we grossly underpay our part time staff.
WORKLOAD: By overburdening you as much as possible, not only do we help keep unemployment down, we also keep potential terrorists busy. Sure, our lecturers may come in thinking "part-time" means they will still have the opportunity to get another job and actually earn their deceptive "pro-rata" pay. But when they've been working for us for two years, they either leave the country or start commuting by bicycle from their parents' house.
STUDENTS: At Dragon Polytechnic, students pay your measly salary. But once they're in, they usually stay till graduation which means you can pick on the useless ones and let out your frustrations. Abusive phrases, threats and insults help lecturers to unwind and temporarily feel superior to those headed for big jobs in industry. And they help students make the transition from a loving Welsh home to the mean multicultural reality.
PRACTICAL: Dragon Polytechnic is only a short 3 mile 45 degree uphill walk from perpetual construction sites, low-cost barred window council flats, a nuclear waste dump and various pubs where you can drown your sorrows. (Not like you can afford any of that though).
Job offers (in order of pay)
Due to strike negotiations, some job descriptions cannot be listed at this time.
Information Workers:
Translators:
Bilingual Secretaries:
Must be able to gossip in fluent Welsh and English, type, and delegate your entire workload to that poor little blonde from Aberaeron.
Wardens:
The Ideal Candidate: Is over 40 years old. Likes to gossip about rugby and swears a lot. Doesn't mind getting paid half what his wife does. Welsh speaking an advantage.
Bar Staff:
Menial Labourers:
Lecturers:
At the moment no positions are available. To be notified when a job is available, join our mailing list.
Information for:
- Desperate Employers
- Worried Parents
- Irate Farmers
- Homeless Alumni
- Underpaid Staff
- Rich Professors
- Illiterate Students
Information about: