An Irish lady hears a knock at her door. When she answers, her husband's co-worker says,
"Mrs. Murphy I'm sorry to have to be tellin' ya' this, but Paddy fell into one of the vats at the brewery and he's drowned".
She says, "Oh my God, I'll bet he suffered somethin' terrible".
The guy says, "Well, no m'am, I wouldn't exactly say he suffered. He got out twice to go the bathroom.

IRISH QUICKIES:

His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan.
"Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant. "She spoke without interruption for about forty years," said the Irishman.

**************

Hey Patrick, do I hear you spitting in the vase on the mantelpiece ?"
"No, Nora, but I'm getting closer all the time !"

*************

Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.
Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk !!

*************

Did you hear that Flanagan invented an invisible deodorant ?"
"No, what good is it ?"
"Well if you use it, you vanish and no one knows where the smell is coming from !"

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid.
The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"
"Ten," she replied. "What are their names?" he asked.
"LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered.
"They're all named LeRoy?" he asked. "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'LeRoy,' and they all come running in."
"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"
"I just say, 'LeRoy, come eat your dinner'," she answered.
"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"