Chapter 41:The S-Files
Tsukino (Scully) Amy, Lita, and Mina (The Lone Gunmen)
Shields (Mulder) Patterson (The Cigarette Smoking Man)
"My name is Serena Tsukino, I work for the Bureau of Federal Investigations based her in Tokyo. I have been asked by my superiors to keep a record of my actions and that's why I'm doing this. My partner has been described as eccentric, and has a fascination with the S-FILES, a group of cases that apparently involved paranormal activity. His name is Darrien Shields, but we just go by last names anyway. Anyway..Shields had been acting strangely that day."
"Tsukino, look at this," he had said throwing a newspaper clipping onto my desk.
"Yeah? This is an add for a band. So what?" Serena asked.
"So what? This band has played in several different cities, something strange has happened in each city they played in," Darrien said.
"Well if that's true. Then why hasn't anyone else noticed?" Serena asked.
"Because no one's followed them that much."
"Oh they're not a very good band then.
"Yeah I guess....the point is that something happens, it's just different, but something does happen. And now they're coming here to Tokyo," Darrien said.
"So...we're going to investigate aren't we?" Serena muttered.
"Sure we are. Get your coat," Darrien said.
The two drove in their car down to the civic ampitheater where the band "The Big Crushers" was playing with it's lead singer Raye Hino, guitarists, Rick Fujimori and Steve Carlin, and of course the drummer Mike Leslie. Using their BFI ID they soon headed into the concert and watched as the group did their highly energetic act. Raye was up their singing a song which for some reason encouraged the fans to lob pigs up onto the stage.
"What's going on?" Serena asked.
"Good question, I have no idea," Darrien said. "Some sort of weird rock thing I guess," Darrien said.
"Okay..now..before I sing our next song," Raye said. "I'd just like to say a few things...once upon time there was this old woman who lived in a shoe...and this song is for her."
"That was odd," Serena said.
"Yes it was," Darrien said.
They watched as the next song started up, and Rick promptly jumped off the stage and started clubbing people with a plastic baseball bat.
"Is that part of the act?" Serena asked.
"Uh..yeah..I think," Darrien said.
After the performance was over the BFI headed back to the dressing room.
"No, it was in Tucson we trashed the hotel room," Rick was saying.
"I thought that was Phoenix," Mike said.
"No, we beat up the fan in Phoenix," Steve said.
"Yeah, that's right," the other two said.
"You three are hopeless," Raye was saying.
"Excuse me, I'm Agent Shields, this is my partner Agent Tsukino, BFI," Darrien said.
"Yeah? We didn't steal nothing," Mike said.
"That's a double negative," Serena said. "By using that implies that you did steal something," she added stoically.
"Agent Tsukino is quite well versed in grammar," Darrien said.
"Valedictorian at Princeton," Serena said stoically.
"That's nice, but where'd she get that meatball head hairstyle?" Rick muttered.
"Meatball head!" Serena said and lunged at him. Darrien held her back.
"Uh...is there something we can do for you?" Raye asked.
"Are you aware that in every city you've preformed in something very odd has happened?" Darrien said.
"Yeah, like fans showing up," Mike said and the rest of the group laughed.
"No I meant like alligators appearing in Tucson, Arizona, or a large mutant whale attacking people in Moscow," Darrien said.
"Hey...we wouldn't know why that's happening," Raye said.
"You sure?" Darrien asked.
"Yeah..you sure," Serena said glaring at them.
"Oh no you're gaze is overpowering our defenses," Rick muttered. "I don't think you're going to learn anything from us."
"It appears so," Darrien said and he and Serena walked out.
"The nerve of them. Meatball head," she snapped. "So what now?"
"We follow them of course," Darrien said.
A few hours later the "Big Crushers" emerged from the ampitheater and got into a van. They drove several blocks to a back alley. A figure, heavily resembling Patterson, emerged out of the shadows.
"So..have you got it?" Rick asked approaching him along with the other three.
"I always have it," Patterson replied.
"Well then give it to us," Raye said.
"You four have got an attitude problem. If our relationship is to continue I will not want to have to listen to it," Patterson said sticking a pretzel in his mouth. He then lit a match and lit the pretzel on fire.
"What are you doing?" Rick asked.
"I am smoking a pretzel. I am the pretzel smoking man," Patterson said. "You would be wise to remember that, or in this case, not remember that."
"Just give us the goo," Mike said.
"Ahh...impatience is a curse," Patterson said and pulled a vial out of his coat. It was slippery and Patterson couldn't help but drop it to the ground, the bottle shattered and covered the ground with a green substance.
"Hmm....fortunately I have more," Patterson muttered and pulled out another vial which he gave to them.
"Thank you kindly," Raye said with a smile.
"Yes..whatever," Patterson said and walked back into the shadows. The band
walked off.
"I can't believe it. What was the pretzel smoking man doing there?" Darrien asked.
"I don't know and I really don't want to know either," Serena said.
"But that's our job isn't it? This goo could have something to with an aliens."
"I don't think so," Serena said.
"Oh come on, the truth is out....um..here...somewhere. We have to look into it."
"All I will say is that good didn't look to good," Serena said.
"Let's get a sample," Darrien said and pulled out a petri dish.
"Ahh...great idea. A sample is just what we needed," Serena muttered.
"Oh don't get grossed out on me Serena, you have medical training remember? You've done autopsies."
"I did them with my eyes closed all right," Serena muttered.
Darrien just shot a glance at her and moved to get the sample.
Less than an hour later they showed up at the headquarters of their associates, Amy, Lita, and Mina who called themselves the Lone Gumwomen for some reason.
"So what is it?" Darrien asked.
"I've never seen anything like this before," Amy said looking into a microscope. "It looks organic, but it's just..well...odd."
"That's not good is it?" Serena asked.
"It usually isn't," Mina said.
"Especially when you two are involved," Lita said.
"Hey it's not our fault," Serena muttered.
Minutes later the two were in their car speeding through the streets.
"Where are we going?" Serena asked.
"You heard the police radio, there's a group of rats running through an area of the city. That doesn't seem like a normal occurance to you does it?" Darrien asked.
"Whether it does or not, that's no reason to go to where there are rats."
"This has got to be connected in some way."
The car rolled up to where some police cars were already sitting on the road and some cops looking on in suprise. Rats seemed to be everywhere, running down the street, up buildings...Darrien immediately stepped out of the car.
"I'm staying right here," Serena muttered.
"Any idea what's going on here?" Darrien asked a cop flashing his BFI identification.
"No clue, but I don't think you should stand out here with all these rats around. They might have disease. Darrien then noticed someone at the top of a building.
"The rats all seem to be heading towards him," Darrien said and hurried into the building. He was sharing the trip with the rats who were soon reaching the roof. There was the man wearing a band t-shirt and holding his arms out.
"Come to me, for I am your lord," The man said.
"Hey, buddy," Darrien said.
"You dare to talk that way to the lord of the rats. You shall pay for that, rats, attack!"
The rats all stood there and didn't do anything.
"Shut up," Darrien said and punched the guy. The rats just ran off.
"This is weird, even for me," Darrien muttered.
"Where are we going now?" Serena asked as they walked in the front door of a hotel.
"To see that band," Darrien said.
"We're here to see the Big Crushers," Darrien said walking up to a desk.
"I'm afraid they're not here," the hotel manager said.
"Where'd they go?" Darrien asked.
"Don't know," the hotel manager said.
"I see," Darrien said and handed the manager a piece of paper.
"Will you tell them to call this number the minute they get in?" Darrien asked.
"Of course sir," The manager said and took the number. Darrien and Serena walked out.
"That was excellent," the pretzel smoking man said emerging from the back. "I
won't have to kill you if you be quiet. Remember that."
"Darrien, you know that everytime we go to see someone and they're not there, they're already dead or something. It's always that way, why do you even bother with the number?" Serena asked.
"I have to keep my options open," Darrien said. "Just in case they're not dead."
"Well..then we just wait."
"Yeah."
"Fine."
"And in other news, the Big Crushers were discovered dead today," The news reporter said.
"So much for that," Darrien muttered.
"See...this is our problem, the witnesses are always dying," Serena muttered.
"I know, I know," Darrien said.
The phone rang.
"Yes?" Darrien asked.
"We've got something for you," Lita said.
"All right!" Darrien said.
"Ah..yes, they think they've found another ripe plum," The Pretzel Smoking
man said standing in the shadows. "But I'm much better then they are. Still..I
have to find a new set of test subjects. Not a problem. I'm sure..they're are
plenty of guinea pigs."
"This substance, we did some research on it," Lita said.
"Turns out it was made by a secret government test lab. It's a kinda of steroid, that enhances abilities. Only it's not like muscles. It can enhance say..smell, or taste, or in this case, someone's voice," Mina said.
"So why the rats and stuff?" Serena asked.
"Apparently the project was cancelled suddenly," Lita said.
"Yeah...they don't usually get cancelled unless something goes wrong," Mina said.
"So what was the smoking man doing with it?" Serena asked.
"That's what we have to find out," Darrien said.
"Here's the address of the lab where we think it was made," Amy said conveniently handing Darrien a piece of paper.
"Thanks," Darrien said.
Soon the two were speeding off to the site of the factory in their rental car. Outside was a large metal fence marked "Government Property. Keep Out."
"Well..we'll just jump the fence then," Darrien said.
"Uh...right..are you sure we should be doing this?" Serena asked.
"Why not?"
"Well...we are technically trespassing. What if your friends are wrong?" Serena asked.
"Don't worry, they're only wrong 25 percent of the time," Darrien muttered and climbed up the fence and jump to the other side.
"Hey wait for me," Serena said and climbed the fence, only to reach the top and slip crashing to the ground.
"Graceful as ever," Darrien said.
The two walked along the dirt and muck that made up the ground. Ahead of them was the abandoned factory. Darkened and covered with rust. Old window tiles were lying on the ground and holes filled many parts of the steel wall.
"Well...that's pretty spooky looking," Serena said.
"It must have something hidden inside of it," Darrien said.
"The truth is in there," Serena said and began laughing.
"Hey! Stop mocking me!" Darrien shouted.
"Oh..sorry," Serena said.
And the two stepped inside.
"So..they think...they're going to find the truth here?" Patterson muttered sticking another smoking pretzel in his mouth as he stared at the factory. He then turned to the various black trucks filled with soldiers dressed in black. On the side of the trucks was marked "THE GOVERNMENT"
"Hmm...we may not have to do the job tonight, what's inside there may do it for us, but if they should somehow get away, you have your orders," Patterson said.
"Sir...is that a pretzel in your mouth?" One of the soldiers asked.
"What of it?" Patterson replied.
"Uh..nothing," the soldier said.
After passing through a main area of the factory now vacant, they reached a red door. Darrien pulled it open and walked inside. He found a light switch. The room was covered in light revealing what looked like tanks filled with liquid.
"What was this place?" Serena asked.
"Hmm..don't know," Darrien said examining the tanks. "This kind of looks likes the liquid that we found."
"Yes, but it's more cloudly and bluish," Serena said.
"It's not close enough to know for sure," Darrien said.
They heard something growl.
"What was that?" Serena asked hysterically.
"Hmm..don't know," Darrien said. Something shattered behind them. They turned to see a monstrous being standing there, its arm retracting from one of the tanks it had just destroyed.
"What is that?" Serena asked.
"Um....good question," Darrien said. The monster stepped forward into the light revealing that it's arms and legs were colored like candy canes and for a face it has a sinister looking smiley face.
"Ahh..." Serena said.
"This is weird," Darrien said.
The monster advanced. Several more monsters emerged. One that had a vacuum cleaner for an arm. Another had a couple of claws resmbling those in a game machine. Yet another. A creature that looked liked it had snowballs for elbows and knees.
"This is annoying, the government goes and creates these monsters and they can't even make them cool," Darrien muttered.
"I think we should worry about the fact that they are going to try and destroy us," Serena said.
"Hmm..then we should run then," Darrien said and dashed for the door. Serena followed back into the main area of the factory. The monsters were at their heels.
"What are we supposed to do about them?" Serena asked.
"Don't know..I kinda wish we had some people on Earth that could fight them.." Darrien said.
"Like...that would ever happen," Serena said.
"Yeah...I know it is far fetched," Darrien said.
"Besides, who would they get to do it anyway?"
"Don't know..."
"Your prayers have been answered," Came a voice.
The two stopped and looked to see three figures standing on a balcony.
"Hey....that sounds like Lita," Darrien said.
Suddenly three blasts of energy flew from the balcony and incinerated the aliens.
Emerging from the shadows were Mina, Lita, and Amy, wearing odd looking green uniforms.
"What's going on?" Serena asked.
"Yeah guys, what's the deal?" Darrien asked.
"I'm afraid we haven't told you the whole truth Darrien, we are not only your friends, but also a group of warriors, who have been created to fight off threats like this one," Lita said.
"What are you from another planet or something?" Serena asked.
"Don't be silly," Amy said. "We just have lots of power."
"We have to go now," Mina said.
"But wait...what do they call you?" Serena said.
"Um...they call us the...scouts....the girl scouts," Lita said and jumped out the window. The other two girls followed.
"Wow...the girl scouts," Serena said.
"Don't they sell cookies?" Darrien muttered.
"Yes...it pays for our training!" Lita yelled back in the door. "By the way...we took care of the government troops waiting outside to ambush you...take care."
"Government troops?" Darrien and Serena muttered.
"We really need a new line of work," Serena said.
Meanwhile.
"Dr. Melvin, I warn you continued failure will not be healthy," Patterson said.
"I told you that it may be impossible to perfect this formula, but you still had to go ahead with your project," Melvin squealed.
"Melvin, you agreed to conduct the research which is being funded quite well by the government. I suggest that you follow through, or someone else will be given the job, and you're silence will have to be guarenteed."
Melvin gulped.
"I'll try again," Melvin said.
"Good idea," Patterson said. "All we managed to create the first time was
group of ugly looking monsters, the second time we just messed things up...the
third time..had better work," he muttered and walked out.
"I didn't understand that at all," Nexus muttered to himself as he finished watching what his universe had created.
CHAPTER 38.5:NEXUS CHAPTER 39:PROJECT RAYE-KO
CHAPTER 40:SCOUT TREK CHAPTER 41:THE S-FILES
CHAPTER 42:NEW EMPEREYEUM TANK COPS CHAPTER 43:SAILORTRON
CHAPTER 44:NEO GEO EVANGELIST CHAPTER 45:SHIELDS, DARRIEN SHIELDS
CHAPTER 46:SAILOR MOTOCROSS CHAPTER 47:RUROUNI MELVIN
CHAPTER 48:LABORPATS CHAPTER
49:SERENAFELD