Chapter 46:Sailor Motocross
Lt. Rick Fujimori (Rick Hunter) Captain Darrien (Captain Gloval)
Cmdr. Mike Leslie (Roy Fokker) Dr. Patterson (Dr. Lang)
MinRaye (Minmei) Cmdr. Serena Tsukino (Lisa Hayes)
Lt. Greg Thomson (Max Sterling) Molly (Vanessa)
Lt. Lita Nelson (Mirya Sterling) Amy (Kim)
Lt. Steve Carlin (Ben Dixon) Mina (Sammie)
The alarms went off.
Lieutenant Rick Fujimori rose up off of the bed warily and climbed into his uniform. He dashed out the door to see Commander Mike Leslie, the Wing Commander running up.
"There you are Rick!" Mike shouted. "Come on this is a red alert!"
"What is it this time big bother," Rick said.
"I told you to stop calling me that," Mike muttered. "The Spaghetti are attacking again."
"What do they want anyway?" Rick wondered.
"I don't know," Mike said. "But that is no reason why we shouldn't go out and kill them."
"Right," Rick said.
"Rick!" came a shrill female cry. He turned to see the slender figure of Lyn-MinRaye, standing there, her long black hair trailing behind her.
"MinRaye. You shouldn't be here. This is restricted," Rick said.
"It is, I'll have to have her shot," Mike said.
"Quit joking," Rick said.
"I'm not joking," Mike said and hurried off.
"I have to go MinRaye," Rick said.
"But..I want to sing for you," MinRaye said.
"No, no, that's all right," Rick said nervously. "I've got to get to my plane."
With that he hurried down the corridor.
This is how it always was aboard the SMF-1 or Sailor Motocross Fortress. The
mile long space battle fortress had crashed to Earth a year ago and was attacked
on the day it was launched by an alien race known as the Spaghetti. Since then
the aliens have been chasing the fortress all over the galaxy despite the fact
that they have millions of ships and troops. Either they're very stupid, or they
want the ship brought in intact.
In the SMF-1's launch bay Rick Fujimori readied himself in his Veryfine fighter. He looked over at Mike already ready to launch. Both Rick and Mike were part of the fighter wing stationed on the SMF-1. While Mike lead it, Rick just basically tagged along and got into trouble. He was the best pilot on the ship though. As the fighters lined up on the catapault. They were joined by fellow squadron mates. Greg Thomson in his blue fighter, and his wife Lita Nelson in a red fighter. Apparently she liked blood. Anyway. A fifth fighter consisting of Steve Carlin in his bright yellow uniform was rolled in position. Steve went angrilly into battle. This was in part because he had to wear yellow. It was also because he was generally an angry person.
The fighters launched into space followed by the rest of their squadron.
Mike's Numbsull-One Fighter took the lead as they advanced against
the Spaghettis force of meatball shaped ships.
On the bridge of the SMF-1 there sat several officers responsible for the operations of the ship. Starring out a window was Captain Darrien Shields, suprisingly a Russian. In front of him stood Commander Serena Tsukino, the SMF-1's first officer. To Shields's right and along the back of the bridge sat three stations each manned by an officer. In front of a massive viewscreen, or threat board, sat Molly Baker. Along the back wall at identical stations sat Amy Anderson and Mina Deveraux.
"When are they going to stop attacking us?" Serena muttered.
"Probably never," Molly muttered.
"Is the air wing in position?" Shields asked.
"Yes sir? Commander Leslie signals that he's ready," Serena said.
Come back from the battle Rick. Please. She pleaded.
I hope Lieutenant Fujimori will do well. Molly thought.
Be careful Rick. Amy thought.
Don't die Rick. Mina thought.
Rick........what am I saying. Darrien thought.
Rick Fujimori had a bit of a women problem. Namely every woman he ran into instantly fell in love with him. MinRaye and Serena had the largest crushes, but there was hardly a woman on board who didn't go gaga for his appearance, that included Lita, who though married, didn't really care.
As Rick soared into battle he looked to see the approaching Spaghetti force.
"Just more for me to kill," he said and zoomed in. A massive space battle ensued. Humans vs. Aliens. Fighters weaving in and out firing their lasers. Mike swung in behind one of his enemies and blew it to pieces. Lita and Greg, working in tandem performed their maneuvers with well practiced ease. Steve just fired all his weapons and hoped for the best.
Rick meanwhile, as he was known to do, was engaging ten fighters at once and managing to destroy them all.
"I'm the king!" he shouted.
"Our forces have eliminated half the enemy," Amy reported.
"Our own losses?" Darrien asked.
"Fifteen percent," Mina said.
"That's not good. There must be some better way to do this," he said. "Get me Dr. Patterson."
"Aye sir," Serena said and pressed a few buttons.
"Yes sir," Came a voice that resembled Dr. Henry Kissenger, a low monotone with an accent.
"Dr. Patterson, have you developed any new weaponry?" Darrien asked.
"I have, I'll be right up to tell you about it," Dr. Patterson said.
"Oh, no, he's coming up here," Serena muttered. "That guy scares the willies out of me."
It was true. Patterson was scary looking. Originally just a normal guy in Tokyo, he was injured in an explosion such that his eyes were stuck in an intensely narrow position. In addition, he had picked up that accent somewhere else. No one could explain it. Where does one get a german accent like that? Everyone wondered. Regardless of that, he had become an expert in the SMF-1 and as a result was always fiddling around with new sorts of weaponry.
Patterson arrived about a minute after he had finished talking to the bridge. He was just very good at getting around. Everyone was still trying to figure out how he made a report to the bridge from the engine room at the back of the ship and arrived on the hangar deck in the very front of the ship, fifteen seconds later. The fact that he had traveled a mile in fifteen seconds with no direct route worried most people, but St. Clair took it all in stride.
"So what have you got Patterson?" Shields asked.
"A super weapon. I call it, the Very Big Gun," Patterson said.
"And what can it do?" St. Clair asked.
"Destroy the entire spaghetti fleet basically."
"And you didn't tell me sooner."
"Ehh...that would have ruined the pilots' fun."
"True. So how do we use it."
"Just press that red button I kept warning you not to press for the past week, and get our men out of the way."
"Hey, there's not only men up there," Serena said.
"To me, anyone who puts on a uniform and carries a gun, is a man," Patterson said.
"That's because you're weird," Serena said.
"So it is," Patterson muttered.
"Prepare to fire the..Very Big Gun!" Darrien said dramatically.
"Commander Leslie, get out of the area, we're going to fire the Very Big Gun," Serena said.
"The what?" Mike asked.
"The Very Big Gun, don't ask. You just don't want to stand in front of it."
"Okay, okay, we're going. All fighters withdraw," Mike said.
"But I just got my eightieth kill today," Rick moaned.
"That's an order Rick," Mike said.
"Orders? Heh? What is this, the army?" Rick muttered.
"Actually," Mike said.
"Fire the Very Big Gun!" Shields shouted. From the front of the SMF-1 an energy erupted and shot across space slamming into the numerous Zuchini shaped Spaghetti ships attacking. They soon were all destroyed.
"Did we get them all?" Darrien asked.
"It appears so," Molly said.
"Ah...good...now I can retire," Darrien said.
When Rick landed his plane along with the other Veryfine pilots, he was greeted by the usual throng of women. MinRaye was screaming, Serena, Amy, Molly, and Mina had all slipped down from the bridge and several more women from various places throughout the ship were waving and yelling.
"Are you okay Rick?" they all said in unison.
"I'm fine," Rick muttered.
"Is that a cut?" They all asked.
"No, it's a zit."
"It looks like a cut, let me get you a band-aid," They still all said in unison again.
"Go away," Rick muttered and ran down the hallway. The whole group following.
"Why can't we get that kind of action?" Mike muttered to Steve.
"Hmm...who cares, we'll probably be dead by next battle anyway," Steve muttered.
As Greg was climbing down from his fighter he didn't notice Lita slip out of the hangar bay.
I've gotta find Rick. She thought.
"What is the deal with this Fujimori? He is an excellent pilot, but everytime he comes back from a mission every woman on the ship has to go see him," Darrien muttered.
"If you want sir, I could alter him, so that the girls weren't attracted to him," Patterson said.
"You could?"
"Sure...while he's sleeping."
"It's tempting....with him gone, Serena would be all mine."
"Yes sir."
"No....I cannot have you playing god."
"But sir....I..already have created an advanced race of human beings with two brains...I mean...this is nothing," Patterson said.
"Two brains? Where are these advanced humans?"
"I don't know sir, they slipped off the ship when I wasn't looking. They're pretty smart you know."
"I don't doubt it," Darrien muttered.
An alarm went off.
"What was that?" Shields said.
"Uh...I'll check.." Patterson said and glanced at a screen. "Apparently another spaghetti fleet has appeared behind us."
"What?" Darrien said and spit out some coffee.
"Sir..you haven't been drinking coffee," Patterson said.
"I know...that was awfully odd."
"Hmm...they must have a bigger navy then we thought."
"Well..what do we do know?"
"Good question."
"Rick....why don't you love me?" Serena asked.
"Serena...you know...I'm the man...and the man is the man, and so....you know.." Rick said.
"What do you mean you jerk?"
"I mean...I'm the man."
"Rick...."
"No more talk," Rick said and walked off. MinRaye was standing around the corner.
"Oh! Rick!" She said and hugged him.
"Hey...how ya doin?" Rick said cheerfully.
"Want me to sing a song for you?"
"Um..no...let's just go for a walk."
"Okay Rick," MinRaye said bubbly.
"That jerk," Serena said watching him walk off. "Still...I'm madly in love with him and that means I won't stop until I have won!"
"Neither will we!" the crowd of women that still hadn't dispersed said.
"Well..only one of us can win," Serena replied.
"Oh," the group replied.
"Still....we can have fun trying," Lita at the head of the crowd said.
"Yeah," The group replied.
"But..Lita..you're married," Serena said.
"Ehh..." Lita replied and shrugged.
"You did great today Rick," MinRaye said.
"I know," Rick said.
"So...you want to go out for dinner."
"Sure..I've got nothing planned."
"Say..Rick..why are all those girls following you around?"
"Oh...them..um....they..uh..like me."
"You're not cheating on me are you?"
"No, no, of course not," Rick said. What am I thinking? So many beautiful women want me and I'm giving it up for this howling banshee.
"Bye," he said and hurried off.
"Where are you going?" MinRaye asked.
"To cheat on you!" Rick replied.
"What? Hey!" MinRaye shouted.
Meanwhile at the White Dragoon restaurant in the center of Motocross City, Darrien, Mike, Steve, and Greg sat around a table eating some fish and drinking tea.
"So..they enemy fleet is just sitting there?" Mike asked.
"Apparently yes, I've got Patterson working on way to destroy them. Apparently the Very Big Gun overheated after firing. I told them they shouldn't have used that generic brand of matter converter," Darrien said.
"Let's just go out and fight em," Steve said.
"Why bother?" Mike asked. "I mean they'll come to us," Mike said.
"Yeah, and then we'll crush em," Greg said.
"Can I ask you three something?" Darrien asked.
"Sure," they said.
"Well..do you have any idea why Rick Fujimori has become the only man any woman on this ship is interested in," Darrien said.
"Every woman except Lita of course," Greg said.
"Uh..right..." Darrien said and glanced at Mike and Steve who glanced back. It was no secret that Lita was trying to cheat.
"We couldn't tell ya what's up with the women, it's pretty weird," Mike said.
"Yeah..but to tell you the truth, he is a handsome man," Steve said.
The other three glanced at him.
"What? I didn't mean it like that," Steve said. Still..if I were a woman, I'd
snatch him up in a second. He thought.
"I'm going to sing a song for all of you!" MinRaye shouted in the television camera. Through some paperwork mishap, MinRaye had her own daily show, in which all she did was sing. The viewership of this show had steadily declined to 0, but she kept going.
She broke into one of her songs.
"I don't know why...things happen.
They just do.
And then I sing about them.
La La, La...."
She trailed off.
"I have the solution," Dr. Patterson said.
"Which is?" the collective assembly of the SMF-1 crew said.
"There is one weapon I believe that will be so potent that it will not only eliminate the spaghetti fleet, but also cause the spaghetti never to come back to our sector of space," Dr. Patterson replied.
"Well what is it?" Darrien asked.
"I have built a missile that when fired, will accurately travel into the midst of the spaghetti fleet," Patterson said.
"Then it will explode right?" Mike asked.
"Um...no...it will just stop," Patterson said.
"Well what's the good of that?" Lita asked.
"The good of it is in what we put inside it," Dr. Patterson said.
"Oh like a viral disease or something so they take the missile on board then all die of it," Steve said.
"Not a disease," Patterson said. "I intend to send MinRaye."
"MinRaye! That's brilliant!" The entire crew shouted. The men didn't want to hear her sing and MinRaye gone would give all the women their shot at Rick Fujimori.
"But what if the Spaghetti destroy the missile before it gets there?" Darrien asked.
"Oh....well..at least MinRaye will be gone," Patterson replied. The entire
room cheered.
"Sorry MinRaye..this is for the good of humanity," Rick said as she was thrown into the rocket and locked in.
"But Rick! Don't you love me?" MinRaye shrieked.
"Not really," Rick said. "You just had nice legs, but....I like Serena's much better."
"You jerk!" MinRaye said as the rocket shot away from the SMF-1 and towards the Spaghetti fleet.
CHAPTER 38.5:NEXUS CHAPTER 39:PROJECT RAYE-KO
CHAPTER 40:SCOUT TREK CHAPTER 41:THE S-FILES
CHAPTER 42:NEW EMPEREYEUM TANK COPS CHAPTER 43:SAILORTRON
CHAPTER 44:NEO GEO EVANGELIST CHAPTER 45:SHIELDS, DARRIEN SHIELDS
CHAPTER 46:SAILOR MOTOCROSS CHAPTER 47:RUROUNI MELVIN
CHAPTER 48:LABORPATS CHAPTER
49:SERENAFELD