| I
live in the USA, I was born and raised a fourth generation Jehovah's
Witness, my husband was raised a Jehovah's Witness since age 5, we
have one young daughter and we have been married for many years. Both
of our entire childhoods were raised in strict JW homes, Saturday
morning service, all the meetings, assemblies and no worldly
association. My husband and I never received a College education
because it was strongly discouraged by the Society. The early years of
our marriage were hard financially because neither one of us had the
education or experience in the real world to make a decent living. It
wasn't till later that we became a little more financially secure. I
feel that I have always been judged my entire life as to how much I
put forth in the "Truth", it was never enough. When we built
a new home, my mother criticized me for putting material interests
before spiritual interests. She kept making comments that she wished
we would not put so much into this old system of things.
I
started an in-depth investigation of the organization of Jehovah's
Witnesses in early 1998. Among my many questions, the most troublesome
was regarding the numerous predictions for the end of the world, made
by the Watchtower Organization over the years.
I
was able to obtain many old Watchtower publications from my
grandmother. What we read was very disturbing. Pastor Russell
(considered the founder of the Watchtower movement) was apparently
very involved in pyramidology, and calculated the date 1914 as the end
of the world through some elaborate formula involving the measurements
of the certain pyramids. Though my husband and I had been involved
with this organization for over 36 years, and strongly believed this
date was a marked year in Bible prophecy, we had never been told the
method used to compute it.
After
two months of intense research, I showed my parents a tiny portion of
what I had learned. Their reaction was almost eerie. It was as if they
mentally shut their eyes and plugged their ears. From that day
forward, I saw a hate and disgust in their eyes toward me, and they
began to distance themselves from me. They called our friends and
relatives to warn them to stay away from us, and we have not been
invited to family get-togethers, family weddings, or other occasions
at which we once would have been welcomed. My parents even told my
sister that they considered us "dead" and would have nothing
to do with us ever again.
I
had obtained the "Studies in the Scriptures" and "The
Divine Plan of the Ages" (by Pastor Russell) from my grandmother.
When I showed my mother what I had found, she refused to return the
book to me. She said she would return it to my grandmother and was
very upset with my grandmother for giving me these books, in which I
had found such incriminating information. Fortunately, my grandmother
has not shunned me, and I am grateful for that.
My
brother was never baptized as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Yet, he has
made it quite clear to my parents that he has no intention of ever
becoming one. He has had many problems through the years, which
includes drug addiction. My parents continue to be supportive of him
throughout all these ordeals, and I am grateful that they do. However,
I can't help feel somewhat like the brother of the prodigal son in
Jesus' parable. I'm, I guess, a little jealous that my parents have
disowned me for nothing more than questioning and researching things
that I had been taught and accepted by them.
My
mother has continued to gossip about us and called all of my aunts,
uncles, cousins and friends up and warned them against us. My father
called one of my husband's dearest friends up to warn him. We only
went to talk to our immediate families and told them what we had
found, and that we had serious questions, that is all. I was born into
this religion and feel that it is my right to investigate and leave it
if I choose and I should not have to go through the mental abuse that
has been afflicted on me.
My
husband's brother who is a Jehovah's Witness, would not invite us to
his daughter's wedding in 1998. The wedding was not allowed at the
Kingdom Hall because the niece was not baptized and she was marrying a
worldly man. ("Worldly man" means--not a Jehovah's Witness,
or person of another religion.) Although the girl herself was going
against the code of conduct among Jehovah's Witnesses, we were
deliberately excluded from the wedding because we had
"doubts" about the validity of some Watchtower doctrines. My
husband's brother told my father-in-law that Jehovah's Witnesses would
be attending and we're not welcomed. Well I found out that only 4
Jehovah's Witnesses attended, because of the niece marrying a worldly
man. How ironic, we were judged by his brother, and they were judged
by the Jehovah's Witnesses. Most Jehovah's Witnesses are very
judgmental, it's part of the training from the Organization, the
judgmental and shunning policies keeps its subjects in line. My
brother-in-law told my sister-in-law that he is totally cutting off my
husband and I forever.
My
husband's parents still speak to us even though they will not talk
about religion, which is fine, but there is a distancing there too. My
father-in-law has been approached by some elders of another
congregation (not my father-in-laws or ours) and asked him questions,
as to what my husband might have said to him. My father-in-law covered
for my husband, he just said that my husband had some questions and he
was helping him with them.
The
Bible describes an apostate as one who turns against Jehovah or Jesus.
I'm a firm believer in the Bible as the inspired word of God. I'm only
considered an apostate in the Jehovah's Witnesses eyes because I'm
rejecting some doctrines unique to the Watchtower Society that are
unsupported by inspired scripture. Please see my Research for
additional information. I believe a person should have the right to
leave and not have the shunning policy imposed on them from the
Organization. I have my Disassociation letter almost complete, just in
case I need it. I'm holding on to it as my last resort. Either way if
I disassociate myself before they disfellowship me, the results are
the same, a life totally cut off from family and friends that are
still associated with the Organization. I may have to go to some
family funerals in the very near future and some of my relatives would
be obligated to shun me. I know I may not even be given a phone call
if my grandmother was to die.
My
husband's oldest dearest friend (I'll call him Bob) is now giving my
husband (I'll call him Mike) the cold shoulder. When Mike calls to
talk "guy stuff", Bob will barely answer, he is very cold
and it's as if Mike is talking to a stranger. Bob has not initiated
any contact with Mike for over a year now. Even when Bob's Dad was in
the hospital suffering from cancer, Bob would barely answer Mike's
questions about his father's condition. Now, my husband wonders if he
will even be notified when Bob's father dies, or if he would even be
welcome at the funeral, although he has known the man for over 20
years.
The
shunning process not only has hurt my husband and I, but has spilled
over to hurt my young daughter. My parents are willing to shun their
own grandchildren at the will of this organization. I'm trying to keep
this shunning policy from my daughter as much as I can, but how can
you explain to a little girl that her grandparents won't talk to her
or she is not allowed to talk to her cousins, aunts, uncles and
previous friends any more? If my parents have any hope that my
daughter will accept their beliefs when she grows up, their kindness
and love toward her would be more likely to bring about that result
than their current rejection of her. In 1999 my daughter told me how
hurt she was that she cannot see her cousins and family members
anymore. I tried to tell my daughter that maybe in time they will
change, and we have to pray for them. I had to turn around and leave
the room so my daughter wouldn't see me crying, I didn't want to upset
her. It's so hard to keep up the appearance that everything will be
all right.
In
early 1999 I decided to help my grandmother clean up in and around her
house. My father stopped in, and was cordial. I was avoiding the
religion issue, I didn't want to go through any more pain. My father
started asking me when I was going to come back to the meetings. I
couldn't believe he asked me that. We got into a discussion, he wanted
to know if I thought I was going to heaven. I said I wasn't completely
sure of the answer, the bible seems to indicate that you do. (See my
research on "Heaven", I discussed it with my father). We
also got into a discussion about Jesus being our Mediator. My Father
thought Jesus was his Mediator, I informed him he wasn't according to
the Society. (Most Jehovah's Witnesses don't know the answer, they
believe Jesus is their Mediator. Many Witnesses don't really know what
the Watchtower currently teaches because the doctrines are often
changed gradually and "flip-flop" back and forth over the
years.) I thought my father was coming around, he seemed sincere, was
thrown by what I had shown him in the Bible. He wanted to continue our
discussion the next day. I agreed to it and brought some of my
research. He had studied up in the Society's "Reasoning"
book before our next conversation. He kept saying that the Society
makes mistakes, they admit it, they are only human and Jehovah gives
them new light. To make a long story short, things did not go well. He
said that I had broke the family up by not staying a Jehovah's
Witness. I tried to explain, but it was useless. I told them I would
still send them a wedding invitation to my daughter's wedding in the
future, even though I knew they would not attend. (My daughter is very
young) I told him I would come to see him and my mom when they are
very old in a nursing home. (I was trying to make a strong point of
this shunning policy.) He just left not responding.
Since
we have stopped going to the meetings, we still have family Bible
studies, and are constantly researching the Bible, we are not
apostates to God. It's a shame that my family has such a loyalty to a
man made Organization. I really believe that if the Organization told
my parents to stone us to death, they would do it without hesitation.
That's how brainwashed my parents really are.
I
sometimes sit down and start crying because of all of the pain that
I'm in. My husband is taking things pretty well, because at least his
parents will speak to him. I'm a very emotionally strong person, and
this family shunning has really brought me to my knees. I will never
go back to the meetings, I refuse to raise my child this way, and I
know what I'm doing is the right thing. I'm willing to suffer for the
sake of my child, to break the chain. I don't need friends and family
that base their affection on conditions put out by the Watchtower
Society.
My
husband and I have now been successful in getting out three families
of relatives, two brothers-in-law and are currently helping a few
friends we know.
I
had to remove some detailed descriptions from my story because I don't
want this story and my web site brought to the attention of our former
congregation.
My
mother has not seen us nor spoken to us in well over a year. The same
goes for my brother's three children. How could a grandmother cut off
her four grandchildren?
Shaun
who is still recovering. |
