Letter From the Webmaster
It is time for all Americans to recognize a simple fact. The current political leadership is severely lacking. Our politicians are corrupt, lying, grafting philanderers.
Our candidate is different. Corruption? No sir. Our candidate understands the need for law and order--especially in other people's lives. Lying? Our candidate doesn't need to lie; everyone knows his stance on the issues. Graft? Please. When you've lived as long as our candidate, you acquire more than a little cash. Our candidate doesn't need any of your money, thank you very much. Philandering? Our candidate is truly sexless, neither male nor female, although he prefers to be identified as masculine, because, as he puts it, "I'm not civilized enough to be a woman."
So that's why we urge you to support the only truly worthy candidate for our highest office.
That's right. Satan. Administrator, family man, evil overlord. Whether you know him as Satan, Lucifer Morningstar, Beelzebub, Hades, or Old Nick, he has always stood for one thing.
Satan wants you, the American voter, to know that, whether it's fighting Congress to lower taxes or enslaving humanity and branding them with the Mark of the Beast, he will always work hard. Hard for you, the people.
Republican. Democrat. Green. Who needs them? Pick a winning party, and vote Satan in 2004.
Thank you for supporting Satan's bid for the presidency. You are the person to visit this webpage.
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