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Reviews For Nov. 15- Nov. 22

1. ***** Silent Invader By Emily Janiak
   Emily, thanks for this writing. Two years ago, we went through breast cancer with our young daughter-in-law. No one knows the pain of this until they live through it. A cancer diagnosis puts a lot of things in perspective. Thank you for this heartfelt poem. I am glad to give your submission five points! Raye McDonald

2. ***** The Vow By Eric Rodriguez
   Very good story. You keep the plot simple, but it flows well and comes to a good conclusion. My only suggestion would be to handle the emotion in the piece better. Watching someone die causes more pain than you illustrate in a short paragraph. Nathan Black

3. **** Death Brings Sorrow Yet the Love Flows into Tomorrow By Lizbeth Downhour
   A very good poem--concise but complete. For some reason I can see this put to music, which doesn't happen for me with a lot of poetry. I have to give you a four because of the mispelling in the first stanza (ski instead of sky)...it seems trivial but most publishers expect a piece to be techincally perfect. Anything that's not gets tossed. Nathan Black

4. ***** Silent Mind By Angel Alvagenga
   Sophisticated. Complex mental imagery. Charilette Rai Sweeney

5. ***** Till Death Do We Part By Geraldine Cook Davis
   I enjoyed this piece, however, because it was so good I felt a little let down by the ending. I expected a stronger finish. I still enjoyed it and in your tradition of supplying those little twists it was even great, but your talent sets us up to a greater expectation that was not quit there this time. That's what happen when you get good, people expect more. LOL Diana Keeton

6. ***** Living in a Trailer House (The Real Story) By Jo Ann Mann
   Jo- Well,I sure am glad to get the real low-down. I like your style of writing, the repetitive "heavy with child" worked for you. Your story was enough to cut down the number of house trailer sales for a while. Gerri

7. ***** At The Ballpark by Michael Basham
   There were a few spelling errors, but the content of the piece shined through. You gave your readers a glimpse of a precious father and son relationship. Thank you for this. Raye McDonald

8. ***** At The Turn Of The Century by Alice Bateman
   Alice, this poem has a powerful meaning and you accomplished it so beautifully in your writing. I always enjoy reading your submissions to this site. Raye McDonald

9. ***** Healing by Jack Mann
   Jack, you are so right - writing does expose the inner soul. And this poem really expressed that so well. You and JoAnn are really giving me a lot of good reading. Thanks to you both! Raye McDonald

10. ***** The Nameby Brent A. Lane
    This poem is filled with the type of love most people only dream about. Great writing, great insight and what a lucky child this is to have such a talented and loving father. Diana Keeton

11. ***** Moving To Alaska By Jack Mann
    Great story, my only comment is: Did you get any writing done during the six months you were buried in the snow? Diana Diana Keeton

12. ***** Living In A Trailer House By Jack Mann
    Jack, this was so good. I felt like I had lived in a trailer house after reading this. It is especially timely, considering the furor over the issue of trailer homes in the county that you, JoAnn and I live in. My children lived in a trailer when they were in college and they made it just fine, so I do have mixed feelings but do remember that dad and I almost froze to death, while visiting them one bitterly cold winter. Raye McDonald

13. ***** Silent Invader By Emily Janiak
    This poem seems to flow with reality. Cindy Piazza-Ivy

14. ***** Upon This Pond by Diana Keeton
    Very well done. It really touches the heart! Jack Mann

15. ***** DreamVision by By Angel Alvarenga
    Very good poem, but if you are being seduced by dragons in your dreams, Angel, you had better be careful, don't give in to this kind of seduction, it could be dangerous. Alice In Wordland

16. **** What I'd Do To Be With You By Callie Nyugen
    This is powerful stuff! Somebody's in love. At least you did a good job of conveying that message. Well done. There is nothing greater or more heart rendering, than being in love. It's worth it! Jack Mann

17. **** Christmas By Leisha Arnts
    Christmas cheer no more, is the theme of this sad poem. Reading the peom reminded me of Chritmas' past, which I believe makes this one of the better Christmas lessons poem so far I've read. Jessica Sayer

18. ***** The Day I Learned Humility By Raye McDonald
    Raye--I've never said this to any writer before--your words drew me in and I can't say why I liked it as much as I did. I don't play an instrument unless you count my voice. Is that it? We give 100%,and he says, "That will do for today." You struck a cord here is the best I can say. I did take a second peak at your first paragraph--I believe I'd like to hear when your friend told you this--you flashbacked during the ride there? Gerri

19. **** Building Your Own Computer By Jack Mann
    Jack---I don't know, Jack, even since hearing about who killed that copperhead, I'm not sure I trust you. So, as Jo was putting this computer together-----shit-eating--you know, I do believe you, because only a man would try it.(LOL) I think I want to hear more of the agony of defeat. I put my computer together--after I took it out of the box and was proud!! I can't imagine you actually starting from scratch, so I'd like to hear more. You wrote a great piece. Keep in the same tense.You switch. I liked the piece. And, I salute anyone brave enough to try what you did. Gerri

20. ***** The Unwanteds By Nathan Black
    Nathan-How the heck did I miss this one? It's clever. I love how one had an affair while still tied to his/her mate. Lots of symbolism here, whether meant or not. It's a good piece, Nathan. Gerri

21. ***** God Is Eternal By Alice Bateman
    It was wonderful! One of the best I have ever read :) Locke J Cole

22. ***** At The BallparkBy Michael Basham
    I loved your story! I like happy stories and I like it when they have a happy ending. Elena E.

23. **** Christmas By Leisha Arnts
    Leisha- Yes, on your message; it's the one that Christians want to drive home. And, sitting at a mall is a good place to be to write a poem as you did. Maybe more description next time--did the boys wear fine clothes or just your average dungarees, how about girl--the mother's expression. The noise, the smell, the pushing--the mall is quite the place to write. Keep writing. Gerri

24. ***** The Day I Learned Humility By Raye McDonald
    I can relate to this story. My best teachers have always expected the best and have held back the praise I wanted until I earned something special. Well-written. Jerry Lewellen

25. ***** The Vow By Eric Rodriguez
    The story was a good story I liked the part about the candy bag being full... Adam Buchko

26. ***** Wishing Daddy Out Of Heaven By Jo Ann Mann
    I know how she feels because I have a Uncle in Heaven to and I want him back all the time... Adam Buchko