Reviews For Nov. 23- Nov. 29
- ****
Oath By Jessica Sayers
Jessica, Oath is very good, if a little dark, but we can all relate to these feelings at some time or another in our lives.
Alice Bateman
- *****
Moving To Alaska
By Jack Mann
I liked how you gave reasons for going there. I like your sense of humor.
Elena
- *****
Wishing Daddy Out Of Heaven By Jo Ann Mann
This is a very emotional and moving poem. I would like to encourage you by saying that your daddy is safe in Jesus' arms.
Jennifer Lawson
- ****
Come Home By Jan Henry
This is a fairly well written poem. It expresses the worry of a parent when a teen like myself stays out too late without letting the parent know they're OK.
Jennifer Lawson
- *****
At The Turn Of The Century
By Alice Bateman
Really good. I liked how Alice put this together. Well done....
Cindy Piazza-Ivy
- *****
Karen By Alice Bateman
Ah, Alice. Your sense of rythm is astounding. Can you believe that after all i've been through, you actually brought a tear to my eye? It is a story so like many others, yet you spoke on such an honest level, that i must congratulate you. Excellent work, hon.
Emily Janiak
- *****
Panic Attack. No Place To Run by Emily Janiak
As with most of Emily's work, this just proves that she touches parts of the soul that are rarely heard or seen, bringing the truth to the surface. This is a wonderful poem with a heartbreaking tale.
Amy Savidge
- *****
Theo by Emily Janiak
Emily, this is a wonderful poem, it shows so clearly your great love for this little Theo. I hope whatever he was ill with is in the past, and won't recur.
Alice Bateman
- *****
Upon This Pond by Diana Keeton
Diana, I am so sorry about your son. My heart goes out to you. I have sent the page to a friend who has a 16 yr. old girl with bone cancer, and a new tumour just found. If you would like her name and email, please drop me a line. Kristie would be happy to talk with you. Very powerful poem.
Alice Bateman
- *****
Feed The Childrenby
This poems hav6e the power for doing feelings all of the hungers childrens in the street with nothing to eat.
Such as any person could feeling hungry some day.
Alberto Torres klinger
- *****
The Unwanteds By Nathan Black
Nathan, I made the mistake of eating while I read this. I almost choked on my food, laughing out loud from the very first line. Great!!! Thanks!!!
Alice Bateman
- *****
Leaves By R.L. Walker
Good piece--don't we all love falling leaves, until we remind ourselves that we're the ones that have to rake them--humorous--nice rhythm--
great graphics
Gerri
- ***
How My Husband Lost His Teeth By Jo Ann Mann
I hope this is not the start of the battle of the Mann's. This piece is cute. Tell hubby that he can order dentures by mail--I think--I'll look for that catalogue. I have trouble with rhyming--look at stanza 3--forget words now, but they don't rhyme (I'm challenged by spelling, also). The way you tell it, your spouse deserved to loose his teeth!--not really I hope to read more of your work.
Gerri
- *****
To Fly A Kite by R.L. Walker
Hi, R.L.--One of the things I liked about this is that Dad would have to help the child in reading this as you go into fishing at the end and there might be an explanation needed and it's great when father/son or mother/son sit down together and read. Once the child--could be daughter--gets the whole picture, then s/he can go it alone, but much more fun with parent. I like the fun way you offered this piece.
Gerri
- *****
To Fly A Kite
By R.L. Walker
Out of all the poems I've read to date this one I most likely will remember the most. Maybe not all the words but the meaning. The picture was a nice touch and the writing style was creative. I know this will become a legend before you know it. I'd suggest everyone read it, it'll remind you what you did before the tv came around.
Jessica Sayers
- ****
Feed The Children! By Alice Bateman
A very realistic look at the way we destroy our world and dis-reguard so many important morals. This poems comes with a hidden meaning I think, which I'm not about to give away.
Jessica Sayers
- ****
At The Turn Of The Century By Alice Bateman
An interesting piece, and clear enough for a person terrified of poetry to understand. I think the message made me a little incredulous, though, so I can't give a five.
Nathan Black
- ****
Someday By Parker Lykins
Parker--I like the line--silence-loudest plea--very moving--if you could pretend you were the reader, would you get the message here--I get the mood, the tone, but am not sure who "she" is--could be woman, religious figure, mother figure, you need to give me a little more clarity--good piece, certainly keep writing
Gerri
- ****
Building Your Own Computer By Jack Mann
- *****
The Hunted By Eric Rodriguez
Eric-Good shot at a short story. One pointer--ending--try not to tell the reader why he feels as he does, as reader already knows, rework this piece. Stephen King--get ready for retirement.
Gerri
- ****
Billy's Friend's Shell By Brittney Augustine
Nicely worked through plot. Nice ending. Why not have someone peer edit and send to a children's magazine.(It needs a little smoothing out. Read it out loud, too. Hear it.) If I give you my address, will you bring a cream shell to my window--I'd like chocolate under the cream, please.
Gerri
- *****
Words On A BreezeBy Kim Knight
Mature piece, "knowing" piece, heart-felt, sorrowful, well written, offered slice of scarred heart
Gerri
- *****
To Fly A Kite By R.L. Walker
I thoroughly enjoy this web site and spend several hours a week relaxing by reading the short stories and the poetry. I have become a fan of R.L.Walker's work. I think the last two selections are excellent....I read Dickinson and Silverstein to my grandchildren on a regular basis. To me, R. L. Walker's poetry has the same simplicity, wit, and enchantment.
Anonymous
- *****
Disease By A.L. Anthony
Pain is clear, and oh how we've all felt this way!
Cindy Piazza-Ivy
- *****
Someday By Parker Lykins
What a sad poem! You sound so lost. I truly hope you will find your answers. God will give you the answers in His time in His way. You wrote very eloquently and every word seemed to cry out for an answer. I enjoyed you poem very much, but my heart hurts when I realize there is someone on this plnet in so much pain. You are in my prayers.
Leisha
- *****
God Is Eternal By Alice Bateman
Wow! An excellent poem and oh so sadly, true. I admire your use of rhyme as that is something that is difficult for me. I believe the last stanza was unecessary. The poem is beautiful without it. I too could ramble on forever on your chosen subject, but there are better ways to end that poem. Overall, a wonderful poem. BTW, I LOVE reading your work. God has definitely blessed you with a special gift.
Leisha
- *****
Is Santa Really Santa Clause By Jessica Sayers
The author took various points, and provided the proof as she saw it. It is quite convinsing.
Spaz
- *****
Leaves By R.L. Walker
Don't be too quick to rake those leaves. . . I've found if you wait long enough the wind blows them next door. ::grin::
Charilette Rai Sweeney
- **
Leaves By R.L. Walker
A cute piece...and of course I sympathize with you on your ending. But, there's not a whole lot of substance to this, and while the presentation is fine for the internet, it doesn't look very professional. A nice idea.
Nathan Black
- *****
Death Brings Sorrow Yet the Love Flows into Tomorrow By Lizbeth Downhour
I thought your poem was really good! I feel that your shared your feeling really clearly! Don't stop writing you are good!
Fabian
- *****
The Poet By Bill Elder
I thought the story was very inspriring; I wish I could give you more points!
Shanna Tobar
- *****
Barney's Market By Ken Bushnell
A very good insight into the future and of course the ending was classic and totally unexpected. I thoroughly enjoyed reading the story and my only negative comment would be that the automated blurbs on the various products were perhaps a little too plentiful and became somewhat tiresome making me want to skip forward to get on with the story.
Bruce Longman
- ****
The Unwanteds By Nathan Black
Very clever subject matter and dare I say too too cute!! It put a smile on my face and no, I was not looking for a parody in human life and neither do I believe there should be one!!
Bruce Longman
- *****
What I'd Do To Be With You By Callie Nyugen
Hi, Callie. Marvel at it; love of this intensity only comes to the very young. You'll never forget your first. The object of your affection is very lucky, indeed, and I hope you've told them. If I got a poem like this when I was young, the ground would have dropped out under my feet!
- *****
DreamVision By Angel Alvarenga
Outstanding. Stirs visions of Boris Vallejo's fantasy art.
Charilette Rai Sweeney
- *****
The Cellar By R.L. Walker
Mr. Walker has a knack for expressing into words things we have all seen and felt and can relate to. For instance, fumbling in the darkness for the light bulb's string. Burrrrrrr. Gives me the willies. And as every fan of horror movies knows: The Booger Man DOES hide down there.
Charilette Rai Sweeney
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