One for optus free time and the other for vodafone. You may have nothing to say, but saying it for free somehow adds great value to it.
9. Thou shalt wannabe a DJ or claim to have a cousin that is a DJ.
You must have made at least one attempt to make your own tracks using demo programs off the net and sampling stuff that sounds like you ripped it off an old atari or playstation game.This must also include an improvised freestyle rap which contains several references to your genitals and your bro's ho's etc.
8. Thou shalt display at least 3 crosses:
A gold chunky cross your godparents gave you when you were baptised that you wear around your neck along with the other 10 charms of chilies, love hearts and evil eyes
A huge cross and your village saint above your bed blessed by the pope
Some rosary beads hanging from your rear view mirror in the car or one of the stickers they hand out during Easter stuck on your dashboard that your nonna/yia yia/baba gave you.
Optional for the young wogboys: Showing your so called "devotion" to religion by getting a tattoo of the cross or any other religious symbols usually on your arm or on your back. (no barbed wire around your arm doesn't count)
7. Thou shalt rebel against older wogs with any authority and obtain some sort of piercing.
Any self respecting wogboy, would have popped down to the chemist and gotten a earring. Make sure you do this in the next suburb and ensure that the chemist isnt run by Greeks or Italians in order to avoid a leak to the local gossip network (eg.your mum's hairdresser, your dad's best mate who owns the fruit shop etc).
IMPORTANT: You must remove the earring before and during the time spent at home and when with the boyz one must replace it, with a big chunky gold sleeper.
6. Thou must know greetings in other wog languages.
We live in a multicultural society therefore lets start with the basics:
Hows it going bro
Hows it going re/ra
Hows it going cuz
Hows it going stronzo
Once you have mastered the basics feel free to express yourself and expand on your vocabulary:
Sic re
Howudoin?
Yallah
Hows it hangin bro?
Howudoin?
5. Thou shalt travel or cruise in at least 1 modified car a week and be seen at 1 of the following locations:
Sydney
Brighton
Norton St
Bondi
Stanmore Macca's
Bay Vista
Auburn Maccas
Bankstown
Melbourne
Chapel St.
Lygon St.
Club Vespa
The Men's Gallery
Lonsdale St baraki
South Melbourne Hellas games
Brunswick
4. Thou shalt use excessive amounts of hair products on one's hair specifically extra hold hair spray, mouse and gel.
A Wog Boys hairdo is a masterpiece, in many cases a work of art. One must set aside many hours to craft those spikes of hair. If you have curly hair do not bother...shave it down to a number 0 or 1.
Colour is also an important element and standards do apply: One must have streaks of blonde, red or blue applied to the ends of one's hair.
3. Thou shalt know at least one traditional song or dance.
These include artists such as Eros, Laura, Sabrina, Sfakianakis,Yianni, Nek, and AmedMc- ok maybe not the last one.
Ladies: When dancing in a traditional fashion, usually at your cousins 21st so blind drunk that you forget half your chest is pouring out of your top and your skirt is riding up your backside, a strong grip of the nearest person's hand could make or break your dance routine.If in doubt of any dance moves...improvise! AND never EVER take a serviette from someone inside the circle. If you are completely lost just blame the nearest skip for making you break your concentration.
2. Thou shalt not get busted waxing by ones mother.
If you are hairy make sure your mother never catches you waxing your legs for the next soccer game. She'll freak and think you've gone gay on her and her dream of a white wedding will never come true. She'll resort to setting you up with a family friend, distant relative, someone with the same last name or some poor village girl from the old country..and then your clubbing days will be gone my friend!!
1. Thou shalt go clubbing every Saturday night.
