It wasn't really the done thing in a wog house and it really isn't a part of the wog culture. Maybe it's because of things like the fact that some different cultures celebrate the New Year at various times, in the same way that Greeks and Italians celebrate Easter at different times, (which is good as it spreads the lunches out a bit). and in January Greeks go nuts over Jesus' baptism when some bloke jumps off Port Melbourne pier every year to retrieve the cross- or whatever, is it the same bloke every year?? But getting back to the topic, the following is a list of the New Year's resolutions I believe would be more pertinent to wogs.
For your benefit,... I have also included my predictions of the date and time that I believe these resolutions will be broken - as most resolutions are.....
Wog Men
Resolution When does it get Broken?
I'm going to stop January 3rd When the first load of washing needs
letting Mum run my life. to be done.
I'm going to move out. January 27. After surviving for three weeks living on fish n chips and KFC, the straw that broke the camel's back was when the last ironed shirt was used, giving him no option but to return home.
No more pasta. January 1 at Nonna's New Year's lunch.
I will not cheat on my January 1 at 12.05 a.m. Whilst celebrating at the
girlfriend ithis year. Heat Nightclub New Year's party.
I will not drive my January 1 at 12.17 a.m. When the girl you've
Commodore while pissed. met at Heat says, "Take me home big Papa, and I don't care about your girlfriend!!"
I will not brag to my January 1 at 12.36 a.m. When you ring your mate
mates any more if I Jimmy from the girl's place.
pick up.
I will not have January 1 at 12.43 a.m., 12.52 a.m.,1.04 a.m.
unprotected sex with 1.04 a.m. 2.35 a.m. and 8.36 a.m. (one for the road)
strangers.
Wog Women
Resolution When does it get Broken?
I won't ring my January 1 at 12.06 a.m. You call and SMS him
boyfriend more than wondering where he disappeared to.
three times a day.
I'm going to give up January 1 at 12.25 a.m. New Year's Eve is very
smoking. stressful you know.
I'm not going to dress January 1 at Nonna's New Year's lunch.
up in nightclub gear when
I'm just visiting friends
and family.
I'm going to get more January 12 approx. 1.05 p.m. At his first game of
involved in my boyfriend's cricket after the Xmas break before the first over is
sporting activities. finished. "This is so boring. How can he stand just standing there waiting for the ball and he looks terrible in white!"
I'm going to learn to January 4 When you break a nail trying to play your
play a musical instrument. your dad's bouzouki.
I'm not going to care January 1 When the fact you haven't heard from
what my parents think him since last night makes you agree with them.
of my boyfriend.
I'm going to remain a NOT BROKEN!!!!!!!
virgin this year.
So there you go. By the time most of you read this you would have broken a few of your own. My own New Years Resolution was to lose a little weight. Problem is, every time I think I've done that, I tend to find it again and it's usually 'cause it's on my arse and I'm sitting on it.
Happy New Year to all
