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| Have your say on the TSOBBTFT Poll |
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| He's 62% more saintly than Jesus, he's 83% stronger than Vishnu, 12% hairier than Moses, 68% bigger than Bhudda, can fart 3 times louder than Thor, can smoke more weed than Jah, can beat Zeus in an arm wrestle, can half-nelson Hercules, can make Venus cook him some eggs, can out swim Neptune, can out think Pythagoras and he could beat your Dad up in a fight...Its Bruce!!! He's fucking oats bro! (That doesn't mean he has intercourse with oats). Bruce is our, like, totally far out god type person. He is at one with nature, and isn't afraid to squat in the bushes to take a dump, just like bears do, man. |
| He may look familier, but he has definately not broken any copyright laws. This is our god, not yours, so bugger off! |
| Profile for our God, Bruce. Name: Bruce Age: 28 Occupation: Student and part-time Religious icon. Starsign: Capricorn with a dash of Cancer and a hint of corriander. Hobbies: Listening to my Hawkwind and Marillion records. I would listen to my Eagles record as well but some negative vibe merchant like melted it on the stove element. Forte: Making dinner for the guys, even though they never eat it, cause they probably hate me...in fact I know they hate me cause they told me the other day. What do you dig the most: Lentils, Sandels, music, flares, tea kettles, that sound on the telly that goes "ooooooh" late at night when you're supposed to go to bed, trees, flowers, wallpaper... What don't you dig baby: Meat, tight pants and when people are heavy and uncool and call me a hippy and bring me done with really heavy vibes like "Sleep gives you cancer man," and "No sleep gives you cancer man" and they like call me square and be real heavy and uncool. In your next life you will be: A lentil, yeah. Comment: (Bruce left a phone message) - "Beep beep beep, oh no heavy, the coins keep coming out, beep beep beep, even the telephone hates me, beep beep beep, I wish there were no machines, and everyone led a pastoral existence, trees and flowers don't deliberatly cool you out and go beep in your ear." Bruces heaviest moment: So like we scored a couple of tabs...and dropped them (which is groove talk for eating them). Like 50 cents a tab, and it was done. My very first electric cool laid acid trip... Instantly my previous adolescent depression fell away from me, like Gandalf casting aside his old grey coat, my head seemed to detach itself and float above me, I looked down and could see that my knob was bigger than heathrow airport. Then this like space ship landed on it, and Jimi Hendrix got out and started playing 'Electric Ladyland' on a harp made out of my pubes, except it wasn't Jimi, it was Jesus! and he said, 'Watch the sunshine dance Bruce, there are no more bum vibes,' and I said 'Each one of my thoughts is a glittering bubble, floating in space for all eternity,' and then there was this incredibly groovy dancing flower in front of me, and it looked a bit like Elvis, and it was singing, and the song it sang was... "This is an orange tictac man! we've been ripped off.' Bummer man." |
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