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| First, the main law - THE CHIN LAW - If something happens to you that you don't like, take it on the chin. Stop your bitching, take it on the chin. Never complain, just take it on the chin. If you get hurt, take it on the chin. If someone makes fun of you, take it on the chin. If someone accuses you of something and you did it, just take it on the chin. Fart by-law - You're a guy (I suspect) so fart and be proud. Pretend You're a DJ and people are asking you to turn up the bass. The louder the better (in the presence of guys). Scrunch or fold by-law - scrunching is for men, folding isn't. Fruity by-law - If serophalias syndrome occurs immediately depart from the scene and dispose of all excrement. Safety/Doorknob by-law - Okay, now take heed, because this is very important. If you fart, you must say safety before anyone else says mullet or doorknob. If they say doorknob before you say safety, they (and anybody else who is there) can punch you in the body (not head or groin) until you touch a doorknob. You can not hit them back in self defense and they can not hold you back. If they say mullet, you must name 5 different fish, and until you name 5, anybody around can hit you until all 5 fish are named. The fish "mullet" can not be used for obvious reasons. The Doorknob game can be taken to extremes when you must actually imitate the fart that was expelled from the wind-breakers bottom. When the farter farts, they must say safety the way their fart sounded. They are not safe until they have given a satisfactory impersonation of their fart. The attackers must say mullet or doorknob in the same way the fart was tooted, or else their shouts of terror are in-valid. GROGAN MAJOR LAW: Shit happens! FOOD LAW: Eat and work by-law - If you don't work, you don't eat, and if you don't eat,you you don't shit, and if you don't shit, you die. Maccas by-law - Thou shalt eat MacDonalds as often as possible (Burger King is a worthy substitute), and fast food at least once a week. Vegemite by-law - Vegemite is a great nutrition source. Noodle by-law - Flavour must be put in first. Chuddy by-law - When finished with your chuddy (chewing gum) thou must spit thy gum out of thy mouth and attempt to kickith thy gum with thy best kicking foot. Points are awarded for height, distance, accuracy and level of difficulty. DRINK LAW: Pissed by-law - thou shalt drink and not hold back till dizzy and extremely happy. If there is alcohol, feel as if you have to drink it or you will be cast down with the sodomites. Coke (not Pepsi) by-law - Never pass down a drink of Coke, and never drink the last 10% of someone else's Coke. This oversees the passdown by-law. SEX LAW: Jimmie by-law - If you equip yourself with a rubber johnnie, you will not get any, and vice versa. Joey law - Always be prepared. Menage a Trois by-law - Your main mission in life is to get with two chicks in one session, unless you happen to be a female member of course (please send all complaints to alfonzo_belushi@hotmail.com). Dick by-law - Always lie about the size of your Johnson (at least 12"). Back bone by-law - If you're in denial about liking a person, you will be persecuted (Don't deny that you like someone). THE SMITH LAW: Size does not matter (said in public by known individual). Scratch in public by-law - Don't go to far (over excessive). SLEEP LAW: If you no this, you are one with the TSOBBTFT. Sleep dream by-law - dream of your fantasy girl as often as possible (if you can control your dreams that is, and honestly who can do that, so don't worry about this law to much). SPORTS LAW: Extreme by-law - Rugby and other extreme sports. i.e. Anything that makes you drop nuts while particapating or just watching, cricket acceptable (Brett Lee at 150kph, no thank you). TV LAW: TV by-law - No reality TV shows, I can't stand them. Survivor, Big Brother...aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck off and die. Movie by-law - Thou shalt watch many movies with violence, swearing, or naked chicks in them (please refer to my email address above for all complaints). Action, comedy, porno's (dick flicks) as opposed to chick flicks. MUSIC LAW: Sad by-law - If it makes you sad, don't listen to it. Bass by-law - If the bass rips your undies, listen to it. CLOTHES LAW: Hawaiian by-law - Hawaiian shirts (acapolco shirts are worthy) must be worn at all huis (gathering of friends for piss up). Socks by-law - Never ever where socks with any of the following: Jandels, Sandels, Scuffs, Thongs, whatever. I don't care what the fuck Norman says, not even if its a fucken cold day and you want to go outside to get the mail, you just don't fucken do that shit. And don't give me any of that "But the Japanese do it" bullshit. THIRD NIPPLE LAW: Nipple by-law - Squeeze nipple firmly between thumb and forefinger when the opportunity arises. 12 LAW - If you don't know the answer just say 12. NICKNAME LAW: Always use nicknames and porn names. Porn name by-law - Your name is changed to your middle name, then your streetname. e.g. Bob John Smith lives on Simon street, so his porn name is John Simon. HANDSHAKE LAW: Always shake with a firm right hand. Never go limp ie. Dillon Walker. PROCRASTINATION LAW: Always leave every thing to the last possible minute. LARRIKIN LAW: Earn larrikin points for larrikiness. THE FONZ LAW: When proud use thumbs up and say "ehhhhhhhhhhh", like Fonzie (also known as Arthur Fonzarelli). If your bitch is giving you grief, just say, "Bitch be cool!". Or if your mates bitch is giving you grief, you say "Ringo, tell your bitch to be cool!" Shoot the breeze as a greeting. When distressed point with the forefinger and pinkie. The angle of the pinkie determines how distressed you are. If it is pointing straight with the forefinger then thats about a 1 on the stress-o-meter. If its at a 90 degree angle, then you are really pissed off. JOLLY ROGER LAW: Never do this, ever. SOLE LAW: Boxers and grundies at the same time if you don't have confidence in your abilities (keeping your little man down). PORN LAW: Don't buy Playboys, they suck. One must abide by these rules at all times, or you die, eventually. Have you got something you want to add. If its a great law, send it to alfonzo_belushi@hotmail.com |
| The TSOBBTFT laws were first written in November of 1998.These laws were created by Richard Hine (Grandmaster D), Neil Hair (DJ Wave), Norman Lees (MC Boof) and John Stockdale (Notorious M.A.T.). We in no way endorse rap, hip-hop, R&B or any other music not played on Channel Z. We take no responsibility if your children start cussin at will because of vulgar language used on various "Homie" ablums. |
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| This page is brought to you by: Eric Cartman |
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| Homage to Fight Club. Midi is "Where is my mind" - end credits of Fight Club. |
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