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ABRA-KEBABRA:  A magic act performed on Saturday night, where  fast food vanishes down the performer's throat,  and then shortly afterwards, it suddenly reappears on  the taxi floor.

ACHAETOUS: Hairless.

AIRBAG  [n] A woman's uterus that has been inflated during cunnilingus through blowing in through her vagina.   

ALGOLAGNIA: Sexual enjoyment resulting fromgiving or receiving pain. 

ANAL BOOT[n] An anal boot is when you take a pitcher of beer, everyone spits in it, someone stirs it with their cock and then the mixture is poured through the crack of a man ass into the waiting mouth of the looser of a bet or drinking game. 

ANAZOID: Robotic ass.

AUSSIE KISS:  Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BACK END OF THE BATBOBILE:  The state of your Brass Eye soon after you eat a  really hot curry. I had a Ring Stinger in the  Benghazi restaurant last night, and now I've got a dose of Gandhi's  Revenge. My arse feels like the back end of the Batmobile."

BALLOON KNOT [n] What the anus looks like when streched out from too much overuse by some Uphill Gardener .   

BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI [n] Saving a load for at least two weeks and then blowing it three feet into the air to the surprise of both you and your lover as you realize that you've just cum in your own mouth.

BEAVER LEAVER:  or Vagina Decliner. A homosexual.

BEER COAT:  The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home  after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.

BEER COMPASS:  The invisible device that ensures your safe  arrival home after a booze cruise, even though  you're too pissed to remember where you live, how  you get there, and where you've come from.

BLEAN: A colour (blood and spleen).

BLOCKING THE BOX [n] When you and your pal are double-teaming a chick - he's got her from behind, you've got her mouth. Selfishly, he drops his load in her, thus preventing you from using that input later (aka Access Denied Error, Road Closed Due to Bad Conditions) 

BLUMPIE [n] Receiving oral sex while defecating

BOBFOC:  Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

BOILER SUIT:  The prosecution charge that you did wilfully, and  with phallus aforethought, score with a Bobfoc  last night.  This charge is usually brought by a kangaroo court  of your friends in the pub on Saturday night.

BONE OF CONTENTION:  A hard-on that causes an argument. e.g. one that  arises when a man is watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with  his girlfriend.

BLOWLING BALL [n]To vaginally penetrate a woman with two fingers while analy penetrating with one. Like the way a bowler holds a ball.

BREAKING THE SEAL:  Your 1st piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of  drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits  to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest  of the night.

BUDGIES TONGUE:  or Small Man In A Boat, or Tongue Punchbag. The  female erection.

BUMFODDER: Toilet paper. 

BUTTERFACE [n] Term for a woman who has a rockin' bod, but a fugly face. Example: Damn, I wanna bang every part of that girl butterface. 

BVH:  Blue-Veined Hooligan. The 1-eyed skinhead.
CAMAL TOES[n] Vagina lips as seen through a tight  pair of jeans or pants (aka Cunt Cleavage, Double Hammocks, Yo-Yo Smuggler)  

CANKLES [n] Name for girls legs when you can't tell where the calfs end and the ankles begin.  

CASER [n] A chick who's so nasty, it would take a case of beer to fuck her.   

CENTERFOLD RAPIST [n] A guy who buys Playboy magazines and cuts out a hole in the hairy patch of the centerfold picture so that he can have sex with the woman in the picture. A pro at this lamenates the pages before he attacks. 

CHESWICK [n] A penis that is wider than it is long.
    
CIDER VISOR:  Beer Goggles for the young drinker.

CLEVELAND STEAMER [n]  The act of leaving a shit stain on the  rib cage of a woman while receiving  penile pleasure from tit fucking.  (aka Hawaiian Muscle Fuck, Pasadena Mudslide) 

CLITERATURE:  1-handed reading material.

COCK-A-DOODLE-POO:  The bowel movement that, needing to come out  urgently, wakes you up in the morning to get to the toilet quick.

COCK BLOCK[n, v] A Cock Block occurs when you bring a girl back to your place, and your roommate refuses to leave the two of you alone. This usually results in no lay that day.   

CONSOLATION PRIZE [n] When you take a girl home from the bar, thinking you're going to get laid, and from all of the drinks you've been feeding her all night long, she passes out on the bed right before you get your pants off. To get revenge, you jerk off and spray your load all over her back. Even though you lost and didn't get laid, the satisfaction you got is almost as good, hence the term consolation prize.   

CONTRACTORD BEANIE [n] Headgear worn by a contractor working inside someone's home. Constructed of a pair of the lady of the house's panties stolen from the clothes hamper.

CRAPPUCINO:  The particularly frothy type of diarrhoea that you  get when abroad.

CREAM PIE [n] An internal cum shot, whereby the man cums inside the vagina or anus of a woman. Woman then allows the cum to ooze out of her cunt. A visual wonderment! Origins of this term have its roots in the adult video industry.   

CROP DUSTING [v] When spooning with your woman, and you  are in front with your back to her front, if a fart accidentally sneaks out into her bush, it's called crop-dusting. Also, cropduster : The actual fart that blows into the pubes   

CRUPLED YOUR BLUTZEN: To disfigure the small intestine. 

CUM DUMPSTER [n] Refers to a girl who has been around the block quite a few times, hence she is full of cum.
DEATH-GRAND-ULTIMUM: Sneezing, coughing, farting, hiccuping and burping all at the same time causing instant death!

DICKTRICKS[v] The act of a man horizontally stretching his scrotum and bouncing his penis off of the now "trampoline-like" structure

DINGLEBERRY [n] Shit that dingles from the hairs surrounding one's asshole.   

DIRTY SANCHEZ[n] While fucking a girl doggy style, insert a finger in her ass and get it all shitty.Then, reach around to her face and give her a shit moustache, a "shitstache" if you will.  

DIRTY SHULTZ[n] Same as Dirty Sanchez, except you give yourself the shitstache. 

DOG IN A BATHTUB [n] This is the proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.   

DOUBLE BASS:  A sexual position in which the man enters the  woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with  one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with the other. The position is  similar to that used when playing a double bass  instrument, but the sound produced is slightly  different.

DOUBLE WISHBONE[n]  The play in which, while in seated 69 position, the man inserts both index fingers into the vagina and both middle fingers into the anus followed by aggressively pulling outwards with both arms. Spitting in anus is purely optional. 

DSL  [n] Acronym for girls who have nice big "Dick Sucking Lips"

DUTCH OVEN [n] Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing). Note: This term is rumored to have come into origin during Ernest  Borgnine's divorce proceedings. His wife alleged mental cruelty based on his propensity to subject her to this act.
ETCH-A-SKETCH:  Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by  twiddling both of her nipples  simultaneously.
FARMACLICIOUS: Sheeps testicles. 

FARTLEBERRYS: Pieces of excrement hanging on the hairs around your anus. AKA Klingons around Uranus.

FICO: To give the finger.

FIZZY GRAVY:  or Rusty Water. Diarrhoea.

FLOGGING ON:  Surfing the Internet for some left-handed  websites.

FLY BY [n] The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, check for other poopers. If  there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a "Frequent Flyer". People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

FLYING CAMEL [n] A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a coyote. Strictly a class move.  
 
FLYING SQUIRREL [n, v} When a guy spreads his balls to receive a licking right up the middle.

FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH [n] While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)  

FREE THE TADPOLES:  Liberate the residents of Wank Tanks.

FRIGMAROLE:  Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.

FUCKSHITFUCKSHITFUCKSHIT:  The sound made when driving through too narrow a  gap at too high a speed.

FUMILINGUS [v, n] When a man (or woman) performs cunnilingus on a woman and she farts directly in his face. (aka "sniffy" or "garf")
GAMBLING AND LOSING [v] When farting, if a piece of shit escapes you have gambled and lost

GARGAMEL: When your pants are too short for your legs.

GERBILLING [n]  The practice, attributed to gay men, of inserting a live rodent into one's rectum (or that of a partner) for erotic pleasure. Options include shaving the rodent, claw and teeth removal, duct taping it, and/or use of vaseline on the way in.

GIBBLING [n] First tie a raw piece of bacon to a string. The person getting fucked in  the ass swallows it while the person  riding them holds the string. At the moment of climax, the pitcher pulls the string, causing the catcher to gag reflex to kick in triggering the ass muscle to automatically clench up tight. 

GLAZED DONUT[n] The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and splooging all over her "pastry-buns", thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an oversized, quivering glazed doughnut (aka Cop's Delight, Hot Cross Buns).   

GOING FOR A McSHIT:  Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention  of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If  challenged by a pimply staff member, your  declaration to them that you'll buy their food  afterwards is a McShit With Lies.

GOING TO THE BULLPEN [v] The act of fingering a the anus prior to having anal sex. It kind of "paves the way".

GREY HOUND:  A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare. 

GUM JOB[n] A girl who removes her false teeth before blowing you to due away with any potential for teeth scrapage (aka a Gummer)

GUSHER [n]  A girl who ejaculates all over while you're fucking her (aka Slip and Slide, Wet Willy, Fanny Floodgates).
HAND TO GLAND COMBAT:  A vigorous masturbation session.

HEFTY CLEFT:  or Horse's Collar, or Welly Top. Description of  a very large vagina.

HIGH DIVE [n] The skill of pulling your johnson all the way out of your partner's hole, and in one motion jamming it home again. Best used in the corn hole technique, but can be very dangerous.   

HOT KARL [n] This can refer to the person who performs the act, the person who receives the act, or the act itself. Having a girl perform oral sex on you immediately after having anal sex with her.   

HOUDINI [n, v] When doing a chick doggie style, yell loudly and spit on her back to simulate ejaculation.Then, when she turns around to look back at you, blast her in the face with you man seed.
ICK DICK [n] A common condition men experience after a long night of plowing some chick who has a nasty box - usually the town barfly. The undeniable stink and film on your johnson is called "Ick Dick"

INFIBULATION: Sewing down the foreskin to prevent sex. 

INTROMISSION: Inserting the penis into the vagina.

IPSISM: Masturbation.
JIM HENSON [v] When you fist someone and physically lift them off the ground.(aka The Muppett, Ass Puppett, Meat Puppett) 
  
JIZZ MOPPER [n] A person gainfully employed to mop spunk out of peep show halls and pay to view nudey booths.
LASER SHOW [n] A Laser Show is when cum dries over the hole of your dick -- you try to pee and urine shoots out in a million unpredictable directions. "Hey Mom! Get the mop!"   

LEAVE-IN CONDITIONER[n] Dollops of semen strategically left in a woman's hairdo at a public gathering following fellatio. A good lesson for those who refuse to swallow the evidence.  

LEAVE SPLINTERS[v] Screwing a woman while she is dry. Thereby, her recieving pain (splinters) while you stroke your "wood" in and out. 
  
LOVE GUN [n] Same as bowling ball except with pointer and index finger in vagina and pinky in anus.
MATCHING DRAPES:   Reference to whether or not a womans pubic haircolor matches the hair on her head. Used in a sentence:  Wow what a hot looking redhead, but I wonder do the curtains  match the drapes?.
 
McPLURRY:  The type of bowel movement you experience after  dining for a week in fast food restaurants.

MILLENIUM DOMES:  The contents of a Wonderbra. i.e. extremely  impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually  fuck-all in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH:  A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you  go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!".

MONKEY FINGER [n] That digit which, having been withdrawn  from an anus, is now dry and whose owner is inclined to sniff repeatedly and contentedly along the length of it.  "He got monkey finger" - from Come Together by the Beatles.   

MUNG[n]  Two people dig up the corpse of the  recently deceased. One undresses  the mungee and places his mouth  over the labia. The other backs up  and does a running jump onto the  corpses chest. The second person  has to eat everything that enters his  mouth. Insult, seen here in context: "I'm going to mung your grandmother!"

MYSTERY BUS:  The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night all the  unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with  stunners when you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI:  The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday  morning before you wake up, whisks away the  stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed  instead.
NBR:  No Beers Required. Someone that you'd chat up  instantly in the pub. The opposite of a  10-Pinter.

NEW JERSEY MEATHOOK [n] The unusual method of inserting one's finger in the ass of your partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. Most effective from behind (aka Oven Stuffed Roaster).

NAGLE (v) to slowly ease a large object into a tight space. eg:"My God! I can't believe she just nagled that milk bottle in there!"
OMPHALISKEPSIS: To stare at the naval. 

ONION SKINNING [v] For people into the S&M scene. When layers of the penis or scrotum skin is peeled off (usually aided by a flame induced  blister) to cause great pain during sex. Great  pleasure too.  
 
OUPHE: Goblin or elf.
PAAUW: A South African barsted.

PAPILLA: Something is nipple like, looks like a human nipple.

PARBREAK: To vomit.

PAREPITHYMIA: A mentally retarted pervert.

PAREUNIA: Sex.

PARTHENOBIA: Fear of virgins.

PAYING THE RENT:  A position in which the woman is folded in half,  knees above shoulders, while the man holds the back of her  calves and bangs her ferociously.  

PEARL NECKLACE: She lays on her back giving you a blowjob while  youre astride, then you pull out when its time to blow your wad  and leave something resembling a nice pearl necklace all  around her lovely neck. 

PENECIDE: Cutting or shooting off your own penis at your own free will, without being forced.

PENILE IMPLANT: Addition to the penis, lengthened putz. 

PICASSO ARSE:  A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so  she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.

PIG ON A SPIT[n] Simple: Two guys double-teaming a girl who is on all fours - one in her mouth and one up the butt.

PLAPLACIOUS: Not giving 100%. Giving a lackluster performance

POGONIASIS: Bearded woman. 

POPPA STOPPA: Someone who has sexual intercourse with their natural Father

PORNOCRACY: A government run by prostitutes. 

PORNOLAGNIA: Desire for prostitutes.

PORNERASTIC: Horny .

POWER DOUCHE/POWER ENEMA[n] The act of intentionally emptying your  bladder into your lady's anus or vagina, thus flushing her out (aka Spring Cleaning, Firehosing).    

PRODOBROMHIDROSIS: Smelly feet. 

PUTZ: The penis.
RANTALLION: When the scrotum hangs lower than the penis. 

READING THE DEFENSE:  The concept of a guy making a split second decision when in a situation to score with some chick when out without his girlfriend/wife. Reading the Defense refers to  making all of the proper game time adjustments as to not get caught cheating later on a some point. Having Beer Goggles on makes it very hard to Read the Defense.   

RENIFLEUR: One who gets sexual pleasure from body smells (urine, sweat).

RESETTING THE SCRUM: Adjusting the penis and balls for maximum comfort.

RETROMINGENT: Pissing backwards.

REVERSE POLLARD(n) To take a dump while sitting backwards on the toilet thus placing shit stain on front of bowl i.e. Reversing the pollard by also be used in conjunction with the upper decker

RODEO [n] This one calls for some preparation and teamwork to be successful. Go to a bar with eight of your closest friends. Find the fattest, nastiest girl in the bar. Get her shitfaced.Take her back to your room. Before you get there, have your friends dress up as rodeo clowns and hide in the closets. Once you're fucking her, get on top and break out a stopwatch. Once you yell, "RODEO!" start the timer yourself. All your rodeo clowns burst out on cue and start jumping around screaming and taking snapshots. The test is to see how long you can stay on top of the bucking beast or how many pictures can be taken   

RODEO VARIATION [n] Variation on the original Rodeo . This only works with someone you know -- one night stands won't cut it: You mount the  lady partner from behind, grab her hair like holding the reins, lean over and gently whisper in her ear: "your sister was tighter." Points are awarded for length of ride that ensues.  

RUCTATION: To burp.
SALIROPHILIA: Refers to people who are aroused by tasting salty  body fluids such as perspiration ...   

SAN DIEGO SURPRISE [n]The act of bringing a girl home and while fucking her, having a friend in waiting enter the room naked in hopes of a consensual threesome. Named by Navy guys stationed in San Diego. Rumored to work about one third of the time.

SAUSAGE FACTORY: A bar whose male to female ratio really sucks Used in a sentence: Lets get out of here, this place is a  sausage factory

SEVENTIES PATCH:  A big bushy pubic region on a woman that is not well groomed. Similar to the Afro craze in the seventies.

SCRUMPOCS: Disease to the Scrotum. 

SCUDDY: Naked.
 
SHREADED ROAST BEEF TWINKIE TWAT[n] A big meaty pussy with extra large lips.

SLIMY SNACHITA[n] Basically the same concept as the Dirty Sanchez . Instead of shit, get your finger all bloody (she has to be on the rag) and she won't know anything is wrong until the morning when she awakes with a crusty dry-blood moustache

SNEAKY PETE[n] This occurs when throwing it to your lady doggy-style. Get going with long, fast strokes, (see high dive ) and pull    all the way out during a stroke and replant yourself in her ass instead of her box. If she complains, you can say it was an accident.
    
SNOWBALL[n] To receive one's own ejaculation from a partner's mouth.

SPERM WAILl:  or Spuphemism. A verbal outburst during the male  orgasm.

SPOFFOLENS: Whore who acts like awife. 

STARFISH TROOPERS:  or Arsetronaut. A homosexual.
TARFU: Things are really fucked up.

TENESMIC: To urinate painfully

10-PINTER:  Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at  least 10 pints.

TITANIC:  A lady who goes down first time out.

TODGER DODGER:  A lesbian.

TRAGOMASCHALIA: Smelly armpits

TURDEFY: Turn into a turd.

TWADDLEIZ: To talk silly.

2-BAGGER:  Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex  with. (1 to cover their head, and 1 to cover  yours, in case their bag falls off.)

TWIDDLEPOOP: Man who is effiminate in appearance, girly looking.
UPPER DECKER[n]  The process of removing the lid to the basin at the rear of the toilet and shitting in there  instead. This will eventually smell up the  whole bathroom, and the owner will not know  where the smell is coming from

URANISM: Homo.

URIMANCY: Fortune telling with urine.

UROLAGNIA: Sexual pleasure from urinating.
VALSALVA[n] The act of pinching shut (with thumb and forefinger) a woman's nose while receiving fellatio; most effective when employed just prior to the release point due to the gag reflex and  ensuing swallow that the woman is forced to do to continue breathing. A great first date ploy, as it sets the  stage for what the rules of engagement will be going forward.

VENTOSENESS: To break wind, flatulence. 

VESICATE: Blister.
WALRUS [n] Make a girl sneeze after giving a blow job. The gizz will run down her face like walrus tusks.   

WANK SEANCE:  During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling  that you're being watched with disgust by your  dead relatives.

WHIRLYGIGS: The testicles.

WHISKERINO: A beard growing contest.

WORRICOW: Bogeyman.

WYVERN: A two-legged dragon with a snake on its ass.
XERONISUS: When a person cannot reach orgasm. 

X-PILES:  Unwanted visitors from Uranus.