I finaly caught up with the rising star Farmer John on his farm in Texas and was able to ask him a few questions.
UIQ: Farmer John may we have a few minutes of your time?
FMJ: Ya'll hang on (rude sounds coming from the bathroom) Im in the middle of something. (muffled sounds coming from bathroom toliet flush door opens "Your listening to Trilobyte Radio"). Wooo I feel better how ya'll folks doin?
UIQ: Just fine Farmer John how have you been?
FMJ: Busier then a twenty dollar whore during happy hour.
UIQ: Ok. Well Farmer John let me ask you this how are you dealing with your rise to fame?
FMJ: Ya know its wierd one day Im just tendin to the cows trying to stay away from that annoying wife of mine when I hear on ta radio that ther needin fellers to help with this new radio station. I thought to myself what the hell why not try it. Next thing ya know Im the biggest thing next to mud bogin.
UIQ: I hear you've been invited to the White House is this true?
FMJ: Na its true. I hear that the President of these here United States is a big fan of mine. I couldnt believe it. So me the misses and the kids are gona load up in the old pick up and head on over there for supper.
UIQ: Are you excited?
FMJ: Well no its not like its Willy Nelson or anything, I mean come on no one gets bigger then Willy.
UIQ: Next question I hear your getting your own column in the Universal Inquirer.
FMJ: Yea thats right this ol boy named Soul Reaver heard me on the radio and asked me to do a column for this new tablod site. I couldnt turn the ol boy down so I said yes. But if you ask me I dont thank that boy is all there. I mean he's as rabid as a coon dog, but dont tell him I said that.
UIQ: We wont Mr.John. Is there any...
FMJ: Hang on there feller. Hay Bubba Ray how many damn times I gots ta tell ya not to eat old cow patties. Eat the fresh ones boy. I swear to god he's as stupid as his fat ass mother. Im sorry son go ahead with your question.
UIQ: Ummm is he really eating cow paties?
FMJ: Well hell ya son there aint nothin better then a big ol cow pattie on a hot summer Texas day. Brings back memories of me and my paw when I was a youngin.
UIQ: Im going to be sick. Is there any truth that Geroge Lucas wants you to star in the next Star Wars prequal.
FMJ: Ya thats true. He wants me to be part of ths movie about the future and spaceships. I dont know if Im gona do it. But he keeps beging me and I feel sorry fer the ol boy.
Distant yell "Paw get in here and wash maw's back she cant reach"
cont'd>>>> |
