| In the heart of Times Square, Jay Mohr welcomed us to the second season and reminded everyone of last year's huge finale upset where Dat Phan triumphed and became the Last Comic Standing. Dat himself updated us on his progress. Since his victory, Dat had appeared on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno and had begun touring the country. Dat said that he was truly living the American Dream. The search for the next comic sensation was underway. Leading the charge were veterans at judging comedy and crushing dreams: Bob Read and Ross Mark, who book the stand-up comics for the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Bob and Ross were ready to take a whirlwind, eight-city tour across the country to audition thousands of comics (or at least thousands of people who had the ability to wait in line) to find forty worthy performers to compete in the semifinals. Eventually, the group would be whittled down to ten finalists, who would move into a Hollywood mansion together. The ten would compete against each other and ultimately, the American public would choose the person to be named the Last Comic Standing. This winning comic would get an exclusive NBC talent contract and a stand-up special on Comedy Central. The first stop on the comedy caravan was Los Angeles, where more than a thousand comics braved the 73 degree, Southern California winter weather. Bob and Ross auditioned a wide range of performers - everyone from a ventriloquist to a Vietnamese cowboy. They also saw several men who apparently thought that their chest hair was funny. In addition, Bob and Ross turned away a young comedian named Buckstar, who looked like he could be the more annoying brother of Carrot Top (yes, more annoying than Carrot Top). The comics ranged widely in experience from brand-new performer to twenty-year seasoned veteran. Bob and Ross asked a select group of the comics to come back for a real performance in front of a live audience that night. The comics who did well at this audience performance would be invited to the semifinals in New York City. That night, the comics who had been called back waited nervously. Finally, the time arrived and each comic got his or her few minutes on stage. The comics drew laughs on topics such as Mexican DJs, Oprah and the Mafia (not all in the same joke). When it was over, Bob and Ross announced who would be heading to the Big Apple. The group included Todd Glass, a twenty-year stand-up veteran; Triana Gamaza, a comic by night and a stripper by, well, night; and ANT, who had been on the show last season, but didn't make it into the house. The other comics who moved on were Alonzo Bodden, Jimmy Dore, Pablo Francisco, Corey Holcomb, Monty Hoffman, Retha Jones, Jay London, Kathleen Madigan, Bonnie McFarlane, and Tammy Pescatelli. The next stop for Bob and Ross was San Fransisco. Thousands of new hopefuls waited in line. Well, thousands of new hopefuls and one old hopeless: Buckstar. Yep, old Buckstar had traveled to the Bay Area after being shot down in Los Angeles. Bob and Ross were surprised to see the comic again. Buckstar began with some new material, but Bob and Ross cut him off. They said that he needed to work on his act and try again in two years. Buckstar asked if that meant he shouldn't head down to Texas, where the next open call would take place. Bob and Ross made it clear that Buckstar should not attend that audition. Later that night, the group of comics who were called back performed in front of a live audience. After the show, Bob and Ross announced the three performers who were invited to New York. They were Will Durst, who had been inspired to audition by friend and fellow comic Dave Mordal, who had appeared on the first season of Last Comic Standing; Vladimir Khlynin, a young, Russian-born comedian; and Chris Voth. Dallas was next on the nationwide search. It was a new city but had some of the same scenery: hairy comics without shirts - and Buckstar. Yes, Buckstar was back. He had made good on his threat to follow Bob and Ross down to Texas. Bob was stunned to see Buckstar and sat with mouth agape as the comic walked onto the stage. Buckstar started talking, but there was no joke in sight so Ross cut him off. Buckstar seemed unfazed and said that he'd see the two judges in New York. Again, there was a wide range of talent in the auditions. Bob and Ross saw a Hitler impersonator, a guy who was doing jokes so old that he'd stolen them from cave paintings, and a guy with a snake (no jokes, just a reptile). That night, after the comics who had been called back performed, Bob and Ross announced the two winners who would be moving on to the semifinals. They were Paul Varghese, who talked about his father - a man who was as scared of the dark as Paul was when he was five; and John Wessling, who managed to make the childhood beatings his father gave him funny to the rest of us. With below-freezing temperatures outside, hopefuls lined up for blocks in New York City - the next stop on the search. At this point, Bob and Ross had been to four cities in just over a week, and the strain was starting to show. At one point, Bob even said he wished someone would put a bullet in his head. But Bob's suffering wasn't quite over - Buckstar was back. This time, Ross cut the comic off and asked Buckstar if he liked clam chowder. Buckstar said he'd see the guys at their next stop in Boston. But before he left, Bob gave Buckstar forty bucks for lunch. Guess Bob didn't realize that if you feed the comics they're only going to come back. New York was fertile ground. After the audience performance, the guys invited eleven comics to the semifinals. The group included Dan Ahdoot, who is both Iranian and Jewish, which he said meant that people didn't know whether to hate him or hate him; Sue Costello, who had been the star of a short-lived sitcom; and Tom Cotter and Kerri Louise, two comics who are married to each other (and who each made it to the semifinals). The group was rounded out by Jessica Kirson, Marina Franklin, DC Benny, Dan Naturman, Louis Ramey, Tim Young and Eddie Ifft. Next was Boston, the city of highbrow humor - well, as long as you consider a middle-aged guy rapping about incontinence highbrow. Buckstar made his traditional appearance and was canned just as tradition dictated. But Buckstar promised to see Bob and Ross in Nashville. The comics who moved on to the semifinals were Frank Santorelli, a self-proclaimed comedy dinosaur who had been doing stand-up for more than twenty years; Juston McKinney, an ex-cop (a very funny profession); and Gary Gulman, an ex-accountant (an even funnier profession). In Nashville, hundreds of comics waited in the snow for their shot. Do I even need to type it? Buckstar came, he tried, he failed. The two comics who moved on to the semifinals were John Heffron, who was dealing with the trauma of turning the ripe old age of thirty; and Bert Kreischer, who wanted to win so that he could support his family by doing stand-up. (You know the difference between a comic and a large cheese pizza? The pizza can feed a family of four). It was just above zero degrees in Chicago, but that didn't stop the comics from lining up. Now, it wouldn't have been an audition without Buckstar - and it wouldn't have been Buckstar without another rejection. Spots in the New York finals were growing scarce, so Bob and Ross could only give one away after the audience performance. The comic who moved on was Jim Wiggins, a 62 year-old with over 35 years in show business. The other comics seemed genuinely happy for Jim and gave him hugs of congratulations. The last stop before the semifinals was Tampa, Florida. It was one last city - and one last chance for Buckstar. So, Bob and Ross gave him a shot. They invited Buckstar to the callback performance in front of the live audience. At the show, Buckstar got up on stage and did a few jokes about following Bob and Ross around the country. Buckstar seemed his most sincere and relaxed. But even though he made the audience laugh, he wasn't moving on. Bob and Ross chose only one person to go to the semifinals in New York - and that was Jim Norton, a comic who admitted that he had the sex appeal of Leukemia. After more than three weeks on the road, Bob and Ross's grueling, eight-city tour was over. They had seen thousands of comics and had narrowed the field down to forty of America's best. These comics would now battle it out on stage in the New York City semifinals. It would be the most important show of their lives. |
| Episode 1 - Eight-City Audtions: June 8, 2004 |
| Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 Episode 4 Episode 5 Episode 6 Episode 7 Episode 8 Episode 9 Episode 10,11 Episode 12,13 Episodes 14,15 |
| THE SEARCH FOR THE FUNNIEST PERSON IN AMERICA |
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