| Episode 8 - One for the Kids: July 13, 2004 |
| After his victory over ANT, Gary returned to the house and got hugs from the other comics - yes, even from those who were part of the former ANT Alliance. ANT's departure evoked an emotional response. Corey danced a joyful, "Bye-bye, ANT" dance. Gary said he thought the whole vibe of the house had changed. And Tammy, ANT's staunchest ally, admitted that the mood of the house was different: "Now, we're just hanging out." Negative emotions ran so deep that none of the remaining guys wanted to stay in ANT's old room - even though it would have meant having their own, private space. John Heffron claimed that the room was haunted and said that it needed to be "set on fire." The void left by ANT was soon filled... by a dog. A pooch named Rusty came barking at the castle doors and made himself at home. The comics immediately took to the animal. They showered the dog with love, affection and pizza. Rusty ate well (or poorly depending upon your definition of a healthy dog). The comics gave him little bits of every food item in the house. Kathleen had a more sinister plan for Rusty and his voracious appetite. She said, "If I could get him to eat one comic a night, there won't even be a final five. It'll be me and Rusty." The good feelings brought about by ANT's departure and Rusty's arrival gave way to anxiety as the next challenge for immunity was introduced. The comics piled into their little, yellow school bus and headed off to what promised to be their "toughest crowd yet." The bus made its way through a sketchy-looking Los Angeles neighborhood and the comics wondered aloud who their audience might be. Guesses ranged from gang members to cops. They finally stopped at a place with high iron fences topped with barbed wire. Jay Mohr met the comics and told them that the mystery audience would determine which comic would win immunity. Then Jay brought out the most frightening crowd ever: a group of screaming kids. The comics got a trunk of goofy props and costumes and just a few minutes to create a persona. Everyone grabbed items. Well, everyone but Jay London, who hung back and ended up with costume leftovers - a fire hat, angel wings and a skirt. John Heffron, who went by the stage name "Marmaduke Stink," went first. John wore a skunk hat, glasses and a dark beard. The kids initially laughed at John's costume, but it was downhill from there. All John could get were blank stares from the eight-year-olds. So, he switched gears and used the rest of his time to get the kids to simply chant, "Skunk! Skunk! Skunk!" John told them to chant this at the end of every comic's act and to remember only "Marmaduke Stink." Would this simple, underhanded plan work? Next, Gary wore a mouse mask and called himself "Simon Cheese." Gary thought he had a fool-proof plan - he'd just play a game of Simon Says with the kids. But the blank stares returned. Gary admitted that his act was, "received in a very lukewarm manner." Next, Jay London came out in his skirt and fire hat as "Freddy the Flame." He declared himself "flamboyant" and creeped out the adults. Jay Mohr sat watching and seemed to hide behind his shirt, which he pulled up over his mouth. Freddy offered fire safety tips, but the kids soon had enough. They booed Freddy and began to chant, "Skunk! Skunk! Skunk!" Tammy came out with a big, blue wig and called herself "Blue Hoo." She did better than Jay London. But that isn't saying much. Next was Corey "Mr. Booty Scratcher" Holcomb, who didn't fare too well either. Alonzo, "Cleany the Genie" was next. But even after pouring a bottle of water on his head and doing a pratfall, Alonzo failed to win over his audience. Later, he said, "Now I've developed a whole new respect for clowns." Finally it was "Lucky the Leprechaun" (really it was Kathleen with a green hat and Irish accent). She took charge and got the kids to each jump over a jumbo-sized pencil, which they seemed to really enjoy. Finally, it was time for the vote. The kids each got a sticker and were told to put it on the comic they liked the most. Several of the comics literally begged for stickers. Oh, they tried to be funny about it, but the fact remains, they wore wigs and begged kids for stickers on national TV. When Jay Mohr tallied the stickers, it was close. John "Marmaduke Stink" Heffron had five stickers - obviously his plan to have the kids chant "Skunk!" had paid some dividends. But it wasn't enough as Kathleen "Lucky the Leprechaun" Madigan and her jumping fun took the day with six stickers. The luck of the Irish had won Kathleen immunity! But that wasn't all. Kathleen also won a four-course meal at the elegant Noe restaurant for herself and two of her comic buddies. Kathleen chose to dine with Corey (paying him back for taking her on his Aspen trip) and Gary (because she felt sorry for voting for him the previous week). But the surprises weren't over. Next, Jay Mohr asked the group of kids to boo the comic they disliked the most. Jay London "won" hands down. As punishment, Jay London would have to cook dinner for the remaining comics that night. So, while Kathleen, Corey and Gary dined on exquisite cuisine, the rest ate some kind of meat fried up by Jay London. The day of the head-to-head was tense. Tammy said that no one was interacting. Jay London admitted that competition could make him moody. And Tammy worried that her head was "on the chopping block." That night, the comics cast their votes - and it was a tie! Jay London had two votes as did Gary Gulman, which meant that the two comics would face each other. Gary said he liked Jay London. Gary said, "He deserves a break. But I'm not going to give him any breaks. I gotta go out and do my best." Jay London was also ready for a fight. Backstage before the performance, Jay said he was looking for an early TKO - a technical knockout. He then said he looks to boxer Jake La Motta from "Raging Bull" for inspiration. With two worthy contenders, the head-to-head would certainly be a tough fight. But which comic would be going down for the count? On stage at the Last Comic Theater, Jay Mohr got the audience going with his hate for cats. Then, Jay London was up and he delivered his trademark one-liners. He said, "I told my father I wanted to be a musician, so he went out and bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out." Later, he added, "A guy offered me a job in an information booth - no questions asked." And he ended with, "Did you know it was a year ago today?" Gary Gulman went second and said, "Here's a good invention: The Pill. Just for the fact that everybody here knows exactly which pill I'm talking about… I gave you 'the' and a noun, everybody's onboard. Not one person was sitting there, 'Ibuprofen?'" The crowd voted and Jay Mohr announced the results. Eighty-nine percent of the audience said that Gary Gulman was funnier! Gary had KO'd Jay and won his second head-to-head challenge. Gary teared up after his win - but not with tears of joy. Gary admitted that he hated to see his friend Jay London go home. For Jay's part, he called it a "devastating loss," but declared that it would only make him stronger. |
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| THE SEARCH FOR THE FUNNIEST PERSON IN AMERICA |
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