| Episode 4 - Las Vegas Finals, Part 2: June 16, 2004 |
| How tough is the competition in "Last Comic Standing?" It's so tough that one comic got eliminated even before he performed. It turned out that Jim Norton had contractual obligations with other networks that would conflict with the time he'd be living in the house in Hollywood (if he were to be chosen as one of the final ten). Peter Engel, an Executive Producer of "Last Comic Standing," told Jim that, as a result, the show couldn't let him perform that night. Jim said that he was disappointed, but that he understood. Unfortunately, Jim's departure left a hole in the lineup. With only hours to go before that night's big performance, the show called on Jim Wiggins to fill the spot - the only problem was that Wiggins was on the road in Topeka, Kansas. The production staff jumped into action to try to get him to Las Vegas. Would he make it in time for his surprise second chance, or would his mad dash across the country be for nothing? It was going to be close. That night, Jay Mohr welcomed the packed house in the 1,200 seat Le Théâtre des Arts venue at the Paris Hotel. He explained that the last group of ten comics would compete for the final, five spots in the Hollywood house. Jay then introduced the four Celebrity Talent Scouts, all stand-up comics themselves: Tess, who had made it to the final ten in the first season of "Last Comic Standing"; Anthony Clark, star of "Yes, Dear"; Brett Butler who was the star of "Grace Under Fire"; and Drew Carey, star of "The Drew Carey Show." Up first was John Heffron, who had a unique strategy: he planned to walk out on stage knowing only what his first joke would be; he had no idea which of his jokes would follow. So, instead of having that nightmare where you're on stage with over 1,000 people staring at you and you don't know what you're going to say next, John decided to live it. However, the strategy seemed to pay off. John did his unplanned set and walked off to a standing ovation. Next up was Marina, who told us, "…it's all about rhythm and pace and energy at this point of the game." For Marina's sake, that had better be true - because while she had rhythm and energy, she had few actual punch lines. Dan Naturman talked about what might happen if he wound up in prison: "...I got these full lips that I'm thinking the other prisoners might be into… And I'm not saying I'm all that. I'm just saying in prison, I might get some extra attention." As Dan walked off, the crowd and Celebrity Talent Scouts were on their feet in a standing ovation. Next, Sue Costello did a run about her ethnic group's lack of sexual appeal: "I have a theory about why the Irish girls don't have a lot of sexuality, 'cause the Latino girls took it all." Todd Glass gave a bit of advice about how to spice up your next workout: "What if you went to the gym and just started smoking?" Then he suggested that you should, "…put on rollerblades and just stand on the treadmill." Jay London, who admitted that he was a "dark horse" and "a long shot," was up next. He walked out on stage with his trademark hair and jacket over his right arm, looking like the world's scariest coat check guy. London rattled off his relentless one-liners. He said, "My father would take me to the playground and put me on mood swings." He added, "I work at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I work in the Beyond department." The performance earned him a standing ovation from the crowd. Tammy Pascatelli did a run about the cost of marital fidelity: "Kobe Bryant bought his wife a four million dollar diamond ring. You cheat on me and buy me a four million dollar diamond ring and I will be looking for broads for you." Alonzo Bodden did a run on stereotypes. He said that stereotypes are true - but that the negative stereotypes about a group are balanced out by the positive ones. After his act, Tess asked Alonzo about one stereotype in particular. I'll just say that Alonzo suggested it was true - and offered his size 14 shoes as evidence. Tess stood up, as if ready to do a little investigating herself. Alonzo started to take off his jacket and Tess began to unbutton her blouse. Thankfully, Anthony Clark held Tess back or we might have had to witness two digitally-blurred bodies up on that Vegas stage. DC Benny gave us a glimpse of New York life: "I was walking through the park the other day; I see this old man doing Tai Chi. I was like, 'Oh, that's beautiful.' But then I look closer and it's not an old man doing Tai Chi; it's one of those heroin guys that never falls over." The audience applauded, but no standing O for DC. After his set, DC admitted, "It was brutal... I may have sabotaged myself on that set on purpose." After the first nine performed, Jim Wiggins waited in the wings. Yep, Jim had just barely made it. In fact, he hadn't even had time to change his clothes. But he got out on stage and did a set that brought many in the audience, including Celebrity Talent Scout Anthony Clark, to their feet. Finally, Jay Mohr got back up on stage, sporting five, giant-sized keys to the house. The ten comics who had just performed waited anxiously. Five of them would be moving in and the other five would be heading back home. Jay gave the good news to Alonzo Bodden, Tammy Pascatelli, Todd Glass, John Heffron and Jay London. The audience cheered, but not everyone applauded. Brett Butler got up and walked out while the show was still in progress. Brett went back to where the comics who had not made it into the house waited. Brett told them, "...votes were thrown out and I'm really upset. And I wouldn't have participated. I have more respect for comedy. And you guys were great." Drew Carey called "BS" (okay, Drew didn't use the acronym, but I think you get the point). Drew said, "Me, Anthony Clark and Brett Butler did not vote for people that got on the show. Three out of four of us… I don't know why they brought us out here just to show our faces if they weren't gonna count our votes." Dan Naturman, who received a standing ovation but didn't make it into the house, refused to be interviewed after the competition. Peter Engel explained that the selection of comics was made in conjunction with the network and the producers - and that this information would be displayed onscreen to the television audience. Wow, so much controversy, and the comics hadn't even moved into the house yet. This comedy competition was getting serious. |
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| THE SEARCH FOR THE FUNNIEST PERSON IN AMERICA |
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