| Episode 3 - Las Vegas Finals, Part 1: June 15, 2004 |
| The twenty comics arrived at the Paris Hotel in Las Vegas to battle it out in the finals. Todd Glass seemed uncharacteristically calm. It turns out that "some people" (the show's producers, I assume) told Todd that he was too "on," so he turned it down - but not really. He simply made a bit out of being the new, calm and reserved Todd Glass. And that lasted only a good five minutes. By the time Todd got to his room, he was jumping all over both beds while his roommate, DC Benny, tried to get some rest. Oh, did I mention the that the comics had to share rooms? Yep. And they were none too happy about it. Kerri Louise thought that her roommate, Bonnie McFarlane, didn't like her very much. In an interview, Bonnie was honest and said, "I don't think Kerri Louise is a good comic. I don't think she thinks she's a good comic." Bonnie said that advancing unfunny female comics, like Kerri Louise, hurts the cause for all women in comedy. The next night, the comics attended a cocktail party. Jim Norton seemed to have really enjoyed it: "Oh, it was tremendous. A small room… and little awful hors d'oeuvres. I mean it just doesn't get any better than that in Vegas." Todd was definitely done with his "not-trying-to-be-on" phase. He jumped around the party and onto couches, flailing his arms about. ANT observed that Bonnie, "…doesn't seem to get along with the other female comedians." Tammy Pescatelli described Bonnie another way: "She's a little slut-bag." Bonnie did reveal the top of her thong underwear, which had the message "Hi Mom!" on it, to the camera. Then she said, "There's more where that came from if I make it into the house." Now, I'm not sure if she meant more undergarment flashing or more shout-outs to her mom - but either way, I'd like to see more of Bonnie. Monty Hoffman summed up the evening with, "They're being cordial, but it's every man for himself right now. It's not Five Comics Standing; it's Last Comic Standing." In Le Théâtre des Arts, an opulent, 1,200-seat venue in the Paris Hotel, Jay Mohr welcomed the packed house to the evening's festivities. He explained that the comics had been divided into two groups of ten. After the first group performed, just five of the comics would get a key to the mansion in Hollywood. The other five would get a bus ride home. Jay introduced the four Celebrity Talent Scouts, who were all stand-up comics themselves: Tess, who had made it to the final ten in the first season of "Last Comic Standing"; Anthony Clark, star of "Yes, Dear"; Brett Butler, who was the star of "Grace Under Fire"; and Drew Carey, star of "The Drew Carey Show." Jessica Kirson was the first comic up. Backstage, she said she was "panicked" but added that she felt a little better because her mom was in the audience. After Jessica's act, Tess said that Jessica was really funny. Tess told her, "You was just borderline psycho and I like that." Gary Gulman was next and did some jokes about football. After his act, Drew asked Gary if he played sports. Gary said, "I played football at Boston College. It's a Catholic school. I had a nickname there: Jew." Tess asked Gary if he were to get into the house, would he walk around naked sometimes? And Brett copped to appreciating the six-foot-six performer for more than his comedy stylings too. Corey Holcomb had some sobering news for married men getting divorced. He told them, "For starters, you're the one that has to leave the house... and believe me, that's a devastating feeling when you come pick up the kids a year later and somebody like me answers the door." Tim Young suggested a new NBC reality television series with all the religious big wigs - Jesus, Mohammad, Moses, Buddha - living together in a house. He'd call it, "Whose God is it Anyway?" Tim dramatized a testy roommate interview: "Hello, I am Mohammad, holy leader of Muslim people. Jesus changed all my water into wine. He knows I don't drink. He thinks it's hilarious." Kathleen Madigan talked about not being able to watch gymnastics anymore. She said, "The women gymnasts, it's like child abuse. These girls are freaks. And the announcers say it and they don't think it's weird anymore. They're like, 'Uh, this next gymnast, she's eighteen years-old, she weighs thirty-four pounds, Bob. Very heavy, I don't see a medal happening." ANT had made it to the Las Vegas finals during the previous season of "Last Comic Standing," but he failed to make it into the house. Now, he was at the finals again. Would he advance this time or become the Susan Lucci of the show? There was extra pressure on the comic because, for the first time ever, he'd allowed one of his parents to come to his performance. ANT did his set, but would his father see him make it into the house or watch him become a two-time loser? Kerri Louise did some material on her husband and twin boys: "It's me and three baby boys at home - and they all want my breasts." Monty Hoffman talked about dating a psychic. He said that after they had sex for the first time, she looked at him. He said, "What's with you? Why are you so disappointed? You're a psychic, you knew this was going to be bad." Dan Ahdoot admitted that he wasn't always going to be a comic. He said, "I went to Johns Hopkins University, graduated with honors, did well on my MCATs, got into medical school and at the last minute I was like, 'You know what? I think I need some more economic security in my life. I'm going to be a comedian.'" Bonnie McFarlane decided to take a gamble at the Las Vegas finals. She opened big with a joke that centered on the "C-word," as they called it on TV. Bonnie got a shocked laugh out of the audience. Later, she admitted that she wanted to stand out. She certainly did, but would it cost her the competition? Jay returned to the stage and so did all ten comics, who waited anxiously as Jay handed out oversized keys to the house in Hollywood. (The keys were so big they actually looked like they opened the door to some sort of comedy house.) Jay took his time announcing the first name, but finally said, "Kathleen Madigan." Relieved, Kathleen walked over and took her key. Then Jay read off the names of the next three comics who had made it into the house and lived to joke another day: Gary Gulman, Corey Holcomb and Bonnie McFarlane. Then Jay took his sweet, drawn-out time to announce the last person. Jay broke the news that it was ANT. He'd finally made it into the house! So, the first five housemates had been chosen. Next time, the final five would be revealed! |
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| THE SEARCH FOR THE FUNNIEST PERSON IN AMERICA |
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