| Episode 9 - The Return of the Eliminated: July 20, 2004 |
| Gary returned to the house after his second head-to-head victory. But his homecoming wasn't quite so triumphant this time. Gary said he took no pleasure in beating Jay London. On top of that, Gary thought he would still be the number one target in the upcoming head-to-head vote. Jay Mohr arrived and promised the wary comics more twists. In fact, Jay said he had a surprise for the group right then. He opened the door and in walked… three "hunks" from "Average Joe: Hawaii," dressed only in Speedos. Corey couldn't even look at the nearly-naked guys. The remaining comics were stunned to silence. Jay then said, "Oh, wait. 'Average Joe,' that's the next castle over." The hunks headed out - but not before Jay could slap one right on the butt. Then it was time for the real surprise. In walked all of the eliminated comics. If possible, the seated comics seemed even more stunned. (Hmm… stunned by the return of eliminated contestants? Had these people never seen reality TV before?) Later, Tammy admitted, "When those people came in, the insecurity, and fear, and jealousy all came back through the door." Corey said, "The pot's about to stir." And John was visibly shaken: "My past basically came rolling in - in a very bad green mist." Gary, however, had a different reaction. "When I saw Todd, I lit up like a Christmas tree." Gary jumped out of this seat and gave Todd a big old bear hug (however, he did not slap his butt, so he couldn't have been that happy to see him). The eliminated comics weren't back just as window dressing - no, they would have a real effect on the game. Each eliminated comic would get a vote to help determine the head-to-head match up for the remaining six comics. ANT was back and so were the whispers, gossip and little strategy meetings. ANT claimed that John had promised not to vote for him the other week but then did. John said he never made such a promise. ANT tried to rally his old troops around his cause, but it wasn't clear if he had the same solidarity as before. Next, Jay Mohr announced the new challenge. Each comic would have to pitch a sitcom with himself or herself as the star. The videotaped pitches would be shown to a focus group, who would evaluate the show. The comic with the highest rated pitch would win immunity and a guaranteed spot in the final five. The comics only had two hours to prepare their pitches, then they were whisked away to observe the focus group critique their shows from behind a two-way mirror. The group consisted of three men and three women. Several different minority groups were represented. Thus, the focus group was a cross-section of America that would accurately reflect the nation's views by a statistically significant margin - or they were just six people with an hour to kill. Staring at the group through the mirror of privacy, Kathleen said, "I feel like I've been invited to an execution." Corey's videotaped pitch was played back for the group first. In the pitch, Corey said he would play an average, Al Bundy-type character who is forced to move in with an upscale, "Frasier"-like family. Corey said his show would be about two worlds that collide. One guy in the focus group liked the idea. But a woman said she only saw Corey as a sidekick. A second woman said that she didn't like Corey from the instant she saw him. The reason? She didn't know, but she just didn't like him. (So did that mean that one third of American women would dislike Corey on sight?) Alonzo pitched a story of a recovering middle-class drug addict. The show was universally trounced. The group said it "was forced," "wasn't funny," and "might push the envelope a little too far." Kathleen's idea was a series about a fictitious entertainment show where she was the emcee. The focus group seemed split on the pitch. Gary pitched a show where he would be a young pediatrician living with his mother. It did not go over well. One woman said she "didn't like him." Others called Gary "generic" and "boring." And his show? One guy called it a "dead end." Tammy's pitch was about a wacky mafia family. The men seemed to like the show - of course, it seemed as though they might have liked any show with Tammy in it. One guy said, "she's just cute." Another said she was "sexy" and that he would watch the show just to watch her. But it wasn't unanimous. One woman said she "seriously disliked" Tammy's show. John Heffron, who admitted in an interview that his show "sucked," pitched an idea about a couple who lived in different states and could only see each other once a week. John had two of the women on his side - including one who thought he was "cute." But again, not everyone bought it. The other woman in the group thought the idea would get old fast. The couch critics had their say and the numbers were crunched. Jay Mohr announced the results - and Tammy's show was rated the highest! Kathleen was a close second, followed by John, Gary and Corey. Bringing up the rear was Alonzo. Tammy won immunity and a guaranteed spot in the final five! She was thrilled and said, "This is all I wanted… get to the final five, look down and see my mom and dad." Back at the house, John was sure he was in the cross-hairs - and he was right. After all ten comics cast their votes, John was going to the head-to-head. ANT and his crew had helped push John over the edge. The two eligible comics who John could challenge were Corey and Alonzo (John also got votes from two of the eliminated comics, who couldn't be challenged). John decided to throw down with Corey Holcomb. All of the comics still in the game breathed a sigh of relief, but it was just a bit premature. Jay Mohr announced another twist. The night's performance would be a three-way challenge. There was another round of voting and Alonzo, Kathleen and Gary were all fair game. After the second vote, Alonzo received the most challenges, so he would join John and Corey at the Last Comic Theater. The night of the three-way head-to-head, Jay Mohr started the evening off with a set about birds and their incredible ability to avoid cars at the last second… except for one that ended up embedded in Jay's windshield. Corey talked mainly to the ladies in the audience, telling them how their man behaves when they're not around. Corey also encouraged the ladies to make the most of themselves, "I want you to stay in school and keep getting good jobs because guys like me need a place to lay up." Alonzo was next. He talked about being single. He said, "I got women friends - the most useless group in the world. Having a woman as just a friend is like having nineteen dollars in the bank and looking at your ATM card." John talked about beating up his younger siblings. John's parents tried to buy safe toys, but John said he always managed to turn them into deadly weapons: "My mom bought us a Nerf football. She said, 'You guys can't possibly hurt each other with that.' 'Really? I will consider that a challenge. See what happens when I soak this in water for a week, then freeze it. Now we got a game.'" All three comics returned to the stage. Jay Mohr announced that with 55% of the vote, Alonzo Bodden was moving on to the final five! Alonzo was pumped. Next, Jay said that John Heffron had earned second place with 38%. John was also moving on, which meant that Corey was headed home. Corey said he was shocked and admitted that losing hurt. The other three finalist - Gary, Tammy and Kathleen - came out onto the stage and Jay Mohr introduced the Final Five to America. |
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| THE SEARCH FOR THE FUNNIEST PERSON IN AMERICA |
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