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OK, then have a good bitch. Make use of Al's Feedback or click here to go to Guru Al's Corner of Love Here is your chance to tell what you think about my page. Be critical if you want but i won't accept anything that isn't constructive. How? Well, If you don't know my email you haven't been paying attention. It is plastered all over the website. Also I can be contacted on ICQ. My number is: 33351863 Search for me, for a chat. I am ALWAYS willing to chat with you(unless you are a complete psycho, boring or have nothing interesting to say), and if you find me online, send a message. I love to hear what you have to say about my page. Make it nice. Any suggestions you have as to what would make it better, or ideas for a few pages, I will listen to them with zeal. Certain comments will be published on this page. thankyou - Guru AL |
Yes, that good old gimmick that millions of Newspapers and magazines have frantically reached for, has now been shamelessly pilfered by our very own local high priest. If you have a problem, a question, a query, If you just want the answer (or something that will enforce a false sense of security in you) to a question, all you have to do is . . .
ASK AL
At Al's Corner O' Love
Bestill your beating heart
This is not just a space for the problems of pathetic individuals. It is also a loving space for those who want to express their creative side. Send your poetry to me at the below address and I will publish it on this page.
Give me the name that you want the poem to be credited to and any further details that you would want to be known when it is put on this page.
The Guru is listening.
Remember, he really cares.
Contact him at gurual_hfh@yahoo.com
He specialises in love advice and can give you a great come-on lines. Just ask him and you will be guaranteed to get that attractive person who you have pathetically been fawning over for months.
You can contact Al on ICQ, just search for Guru Al
Dear Al,
I suffer from a congenital disorder which makes me want to wear corduroy. Everyone laughs at me and calls me names like Dickhead. Why can't they just accept me for who I am even though I have to dress so ridiculously. What can I do?
- Dress distress
Dear Dress,
You are clearly getting the treatment you deserve and I encourage those who are teasing you, and recommend that they continue - Al
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I think you're sexy
And I'd like to f*ck you
Thankyou to "Randy" Robbie Redfield, for this delightful poem
The ladies must be chasing you, you hopeless romantic! Yes sir!
Green, smooth, wet lilac painted tree Khombi van
Poncho-like elegant summer dancing pole
A pale, shedding vile frequent hat pin
Staring with menace and paper-thin anguish
Moonlit boulevard slinking eastward
Mongoose striding in yellow indifference
Pilfering plentied puce ordered mandarins
Conquer Mongols', eagle-patterned furniture
Thankyou to Eduardo Camanchio for this delightfully thought-provoking poem!
I see blood on my hands, my clothes soiled too
I try to cleanse them but am not able to
In my hand is a tightly gripped knife
I grasp it compulsively as I contemplate life
You lay before me and yet do not stir
As I slip the blade across where your fingers were
Your face is pale, dirty and cold
Your wounds clotted, seemingly old
I stare at my watch, the time isn't set
That's what you get bitch, that's what you get
Too often you took time to fuck with me
But the stains of your blood tell me I'm free
Err, wonderfully stirring stuff, umm thanks Dillan Miles for this spiteful piece of work, hopefully not based on real events... Well keep up the good work! Ah a twisted sort of love though for Guru Al's Corner O' Love, but that's what we like, all aspects of love covered neatly!
THERE ISN'T MUCH ON THIS PAGE BECAUSE IT IS YOUR JOB TO WRITE TO ME! SO HURRY UP!!!
Last updated: 29/10/00
