Check out the blogs from...
2005,
December, November, October, September,
August, July, June, May,
April, March, February, January,
or 2003!
Return to the Dog House!
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Check out the blogs from...
Return to the Dog House! |
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Saturday, June 26, 2004
Ahhhhh! I'm leaving in a li'l more than 30 hours!!! Gonna be so homesick! Had to say "goodbye" to quite a few people today at church...if I missed you, I hope you have a great summer!
Oh...Lemonde - have a great b-day while I'm gone...hopefully I will be back for your b-day party! hehe...and remember to stop to enjoy the simpler things in life=)...hehe...brand names don't mean everything=P
I'll be home all day tomorrow (well...prayer meeting from 8-9am...come if you're free!) and I'll be checking my e-mail before leaving home...so for any last-minute things, feel free to give me a call or leave me an e-mail!
See you in August!
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Thursday, June 24, 2004
3 days and counting...I'd be lying if I say that I'm not a li'l nervous about Sunday...But what can I say there's a first time for everything, right? Well...I've still got a bit of packing to do...I'll be keeping a journal of things I'm doing over there - but I doubt I'll have much time to update this (even if I'm allowed - there's this French-only rule thing), but if any of you guys want snail mail, you'll have to give me your addies and postal codes soon...you can just e-mail 'em, if you want=)
I hope some of you had the chance to see that beautiful sunset today...it was gorgeous - not one of those multi-coloured ones due to pollution, but just pure bright sunlight streaming through rain clouds...*sigh* Can't wait to enjoy the east coast scenery...
So, in case, I don't get a chance to say so later, "Adieu."
...just me...and no one else...
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Monday, June 21, 2004
I've always enjoyed John Mayer's songs...and well, now that I've got his CD,Room For Squares, I'm hooked...hehe...so don't be surprised if next time you see me, you hear me me singing or humming one of his tunes=)
Today's been pretty easy-going. I woke up at 11am!!! hehe...I didn't even wake up when my dad left for work or anything...haven't sleep that well in a while. Then I ate some leftovers for dinner with my sister, watched a li'l TV and then cleaned. Not too bad...but still got a bit to go=P
*sigh* The fact that I'm leaving for a foreign place all by myself this Sunday is starting to sink in...feeling a li'l nervous - but I know I'll survive=) I'm just wondering what kinda songs I'll have to find to sing...(hehe...I'm technically not supposed to read, speak, eat, drink, think anything, but French...hmmm...and the only songs I "know" in French are La Vie En Rose and La Poussière d'Ange) Anybody know any good French artists/songs?
Anyhooey...it's 4:33pm and I should get going...I basically started this blog wanting to tell you all that I changed my "Dog Tags" guestbook into "Doggie Treats" - which is basically where you guys can leave your own li'l comments and "food for thought" about anything brought up in this blog or whatever else you want to post up=) Sowwie...this was the best I could do for those who wanted a "comment" option...me and my technological know-how is only capable of so much=P
La petite chanteuse chinoise,
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Sunday, June 20, 2004
(Note: This is a combination of a blog I had started Thursday nite, but didn't get a chance to finish...with a few more additions after a bit more reflection...The italicized bit is from Thursday and the regular type is today's...)
One Voice was one of my favourite songs for a while when I first heard it. One of those songs I kinda killed singing too much after listening to the CD hours on end=P hehe...anyways, I was listening to this last nite while on the computer and well...it reminded me of the conversation I had with my dear "cousin" Lemonde last nite.
It was basically about the unity in our church...or well, perhaps the lack of it is a more accurate way of putting it. And...well...I guess the common misconception people have (Christians and non-Christians alike) is that the church is a place of love, acceptance, forgiveness, and everything that the Bible teaches. And well, that's what it's supposed to be, but cuz we're all selfish, proud and arrogant human beings at one time or another, the church isn't quite what it's supposed to be. (Come to one of our congregational meetings and you'll know what I mean=S)
BUT that doesn't mean we should give up on our churches...cuz leaving and going to another will just disappoint you all the same, because no matter where you go, there will be people who you can't quite get along with.
Sooo...this was how far I got on Thursday...and well - this whole unity thing has frustrated me for quite a while. hehe...I still remember that one congregational meeting that went until 6pm which Cecilia and I sat through until the very, very end. I was sooo upset after it, cuz (it being the first meeting I've ever attended, not knowing how things were "supposed to run") I spent most of my time just listening and taking in what people were saying.
Sooo...2pm - everyone files into the sanctuary, signs in, meeting is called to order, prayers said, agenda's agreed to, seconded, and passed (which reminded me of the Confederation debate simulation I did in grade 8 - no fun, happy memories there=S)...Then, it begins.
So...We're going down the agenda, the "simple", "un-important" things are quickly passed and put aside...then when the "juicier", controversial topics come up, questions start arising, people say things passive aggressively, things are debated, explained and brought up again, comments ranging form the means of financial support for the R&E project to people's lack of faith in God's plans.
I sat there. I listened to what they had to say. And in my mind, I struggled over the pros and cons of my li'l urges to do something, to say something...but, to my disappointment and shame, I failed to live up to my favourite verse of I Timothy 4:12 - "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."
I wanted to go up to the mic set up in the middle of the sanctuary and say a prayer, confront them about their childish behaviour, sing a song about unity in the church...anything. But I didn't. I was afraid of what people would think.
Silly child and her idealistic view of life.
What would she know about financial difficulties?
WHAT is this girl doing in a congregational meeting with all of us, old mature knowledgeable Chinese adults?...or well...something along those lines.
And so...I didn't go up. I didn't say anything. I didn't sing a song. I sat and I listened. And instead, afterwards, when my family went to "Yoot Hing" (some Chinese restaurant) for dinner, I scared the waiter as I bawled my eyes out=S
How could our parents, the people we call our aunties and uncles, the leaders of our church, act as if they were children who have never had to co-operate with others before? How is is that even children working on a group project for school can somehow find a why to work things out together, yet grown men and women (with as much experience as they've had) could not forgive and forget...but instead choose to sweep things under the rug, only so they can take it back out for later criticism and finger-pointing?
That was my first experience...I hope your first experience was (or will be) better than mine.
Then there was the other meeting...the big one...the one I've seen most people come out to so far, the one that was scheduled on the same Sunday as last year's softball banquet. A few WAY "kids" came out to that...and perhaps most of the adults just thought we were bored when we stepped out halfway through their repetitive and heated arguments...but little did they know that the youth of their church, their children, their Sunday school kids, were all huddled in a small Sunbeam classroom crying and praying for them. Little did they know that we were hurting, because they were too proud to listen, too proud to stop and think rationally...
Little did they know.
So, this past year, ever since that first congregational meeting, unity in MCBC has been one of my top prayer priorities. And perhaps, during those 12 months, I've lost hope of it ever happening...with the things I was hearing about and witnessing to...
And well...haha...after all this talking, I'm finally getting to the main point of my blog=P Sowwie for all this reading, but if you're reading this - thanx for reading this far=)
Anyways, this past Friday, our church had a praise nite for the English congregation. To be honest, other than the skit about the disharmony of the ship crew of God's battleship, the program didn't really speak to me, until the 3rd last song.
Ironically, the 3rd last song is the song I mentioned in my previous blog from Thursday morning (or well...late Wednesday nite)...only it ran more like this:
Jesus, all for Jesus, all we are and have and ever hope to be.
As people were going up to add their puzzle piece to the big picture, in my head, I kept being critical and doubtful of what people's genuine thoughts were...were they just "going with the flow", trying to "fit in", trying not to "disappoint" anyone, or did they really believe in being united as a church?
When Jen and Silas started singing this song, it took me a few seconds to register that it was the song I had sung alone in Becca's kitchen, wondering why our church was lacking so much unity...and then I started crying - yes...again - because God said to me right then and there, "Why are you doubting? Can't you see that only 2 nites ago, you sang this to me alone, but now - now - you've got a whole congregation singing with you? Can't you see that I am faithful, I am still here, I am still in control? Trust me."
And then we sang Majesty (Here I Am)...which I tried to sing to, having just calmed down a bit, but couldn't because the song reminded me of the trailer for The Passion of the Christ which I had first watched at Worship Together last October with the song playing in the background...and yeah...it made me cry even harder...
God has a way of breaking us...it never ceases to amaze me.
But I guess...this extremely loooooong blog was just to say: Yes, churches, like any family, can suck at times...and other church members, like any family member, can drive us to the ends of our ropes, but learn to love them, because God tells us to...and what witnesses will we be and how can we preach what we preach, if we can't maintain unity and love in our own churches? And no matter what, remember: He is forever faithful, He is always loving, He is forever in control.
When you think you've got it together,
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Thursday, June 17, 2004
Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know - I should be sleeping...but meh...I haven't written in a while and well...I figured I'm here, so I might as well update now=P Actually I've wanted to update quite a few times earlier...but yeah...never managed to finish my entries...
Anyways, today was a pretty good day overall...I spent all day chauffering my mom around town...We went shopping for dress sandals (she's been wanting to buy me some for the looongest time - claims I need to dress more "lady-like"=P) and ended up buying TWO pairs...and TWO pairs of pants (hehe...Jacob Jr...cheaper and no tax or one of the taxes anyways...) hehe...See? It's good to be "petite" sometimes=) But yeah...hehe...I'm not going for any more shopping for a while=P Not for myself anyways.
Well...I've happy, I've only got one more exam (Gr. 12 French) on Friday and then I'm done=)...But then I've gotta clean up my room and start packing for my trip to Nova Scotia!!! Ahhhh! I can't believe I'm going next week!
There's a lot of people I'm gonna miss...Lots of things I'll worry about...but yeah...this old song popped into my head tonite, while I was at Becca's...I don't remember the title...but the lyrics go something like this:
Jesus, all for Jesus,
For it's only in
All of my ambitions,
Really old song, but a really nice one...hehe...if you don't know it...ask me next time you see me and maybe I'll sing it to you=P
*yawn*
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Tuesday, June 1, 2004
Aaah...A new month has begun, school's almost over and summer's almost here! It's amazing how fast time can fly...It's amazing how long I've been in high school for, how many friends I've made, how much my relationships have grown...and it's crazy to know that it's been 3 short years in high school and I've still got a whole life ahead of me to go...a whole lifetime to grow, to learn, to mature...
Cleaning up my room last week, I skimmed through my old photo albums...and wondered about how much I've changed...for better or for worse?...and then I wondered what things I should work on changing about myself now.
For example: patience (especially with family and a few other individuals that somehow manage to annoy me=P), self-control (which kinda goes hand-in-hand with the patience thing), disicipline (in terms of reading my Bible and praying regularly and doing it wholeheartedly, not half awake kinda thing), being more people-oriented (rather than task-oriented), being more extroverted (go meet new people, rather than have people come to me)...
hehe...I was watching the special features of Moulin Rouge! Saturday nite for my French ISU and I also did some research online. And I found this quote Baz Luhrmann says about his film. He said, "[It's] a story about growing up and realising that there are things in life beyond your control...You know, people die, relationships pass on - but it must make you stronger and help you grow."
And looking back...there have been quite a few ups-and-downs, but God has brought me through it all and there are so many things I've learned and gained from all these experiences...that if I were to go back in time and given the choice of going through them again, I would.
There are things that worry me, things that bring me down, things that just make my day worse than I thought was ever possible...but God always finds a way to relieve me of my fears, to pick me up and make me smile=)
It's amazing to see how God's plans and timing are always perfect in the end.
...growing up and loving it...
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Check out the blogs from...
2005,
December, November, October, September, August, July, June, May, April, March, February, January,
or 2003!
Return to the Dog House!