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Monday, August 30, 2004
hehe...I was such a chubby baby. Anyhoo...in a "childish" mood today. I spent a chunk of it playing games with my younger cousin, Hollie. Let's see: cards (including: Speed, Crazy 8 Countdown, Big 2...), Memory, Chinese checkers, Jenga...I think that's about it.
But yeah, spending time playing old games from childhood made me wish I was little again. hehe...family dinners, road trips, Chinese bus tours=P, singing kiddy songs, reading those Mr. and Mrs. books, watching Sesame Street, jumping on our beds, hanging out with my dear cousins...hehe...fun times=)
And I miss the swimming and skating lessons that I used to attend...skating especially. I've totally lost my endurance in swimming...
Unfortunately, my parents figured that academic extracurriculars like Kumon and piano were more important than the ones that require you to be physically active=( And since no one in my family is really into sports/physical activity, I don't get much myself...it's not as fun going swimming/skating/biking/roller blading (even though I suck at it) by yourself than it is with other people=(
As you can see from my recent quotes, I've been rereading Ender's Game this past week. I've got another 36 pages to go. If you haven't read it, you've got to!!! It's sci-fi, but even if you don't like sci-fi (which I usually don't), you should give this one a chance! You won't regret it.
I dunno...the characters are really interesting. Ender and Bean especially...well, you learn more about Bean in Ender's Shadow. And yes, for those who wonder why my e-mail's "marshmallow_bean" or how I used to be nicknamed "Bean" (that was a while ago...in gr.7 and 8), it was after Bean in Ender's Game. He's a smart kid who's really small for his age...and yeah...somehow that name seemed to work=)
And well, the "marshmallow" part of my e-mail comes from some children's story book I made in gr.7 which starred a character named "Mr. Marshmallow" who accepts a dare and meets his fate at the "Hot Chocolate Spa" - don't ask=P I wasn't and am not the type who's gifted in the creative-writing department=P hehe...
Anyways, if you really like Ender's Game, you can read the rest of the sequels=) They're pretty good too=)
Well, I've gotta have dinner soon...whoa, it's already 7:38pm - where does the time go!?!
Today will soon be yesterday...
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Sunday, August 29, 2004
ARGH!!! I just spent an hour uploading the rest of my Québec/Montréal pics and updating my blog...but it didn't save!!! Meh...I didn't say that much anyways=P
hmm...basically that my trip was a lot of fun=) And yeah...digi cams (even though the one I've got at home is kinda crappy) are quite addictive! I still prefer regular 35mm film, but with a digi cam, I can take as many stupid, silly, artsy fartsy pics as I want without having to worry about film development costs...
hehe...kinda like the useless one I've got on the right=P
But yeah...I'm gonna get offline now...my eyes are hurting and I've gotta go soon...MCBCSL banquet! hehe...See you guys later!
Camera Crazy!
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Sunday, August 29, 2004
Yes...I know it's late and I'm crazy to be up right now...
I got back from my Québec/Montréal road trip Friday nite and had a BLAST!!! Québec's such a beautiful place! Most of the digi cam pics are up on ImageStation (just click on the pic), but our actual film hasn't been developed yet=P I'll finish uploading them by tomorrow...
hehe...and for those who asked why I wasn't in any of my Nova Scotia pics, it was cuz I was constantly the one holding the camera, but this time, there's quite a few more of me, since Cecilia shared the title of "photographer"=P And yeah, I also fooled around quite a bit in our hotel with the bathroom mirrors...so yeah, enjoy!
Picture-perfect scenes...
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Sunday, August 22, 2004
I should be finishing my packing for my road trip to Montréal and Québec, but meh...I'm online - again. I was going through some of Cecilia's saved pics and found one that she took of our parents awhile ago.
Cute, aren't they? hehe...
Love is a funny thing, isn't it? It can cause one to feel immense joy, deep sorrow, jealousy, or even pain. Love is what drives the soul.
It can cause us to make decisions to put ourselves in harm and pain's way for the happiness and good of someone else. It can cause us to give up a million dreams just to gain one thing. It gives us the courage to take risks in life...to step off the ledge and take a leap of faith that if we love, we will be loved in return.
With university a year away, I've spent a good deal of my time thinking about my "future", my "dreams"...my goals in life.
At the end of it all, I just want to be able to say that I was able to risk loving (to the best of my ability) every single person that steps into my life, because God risked and experienced more rejection than I will ever be able to comprehend when He loved me and died on that cross for me.
Where this blog entry's going, I have no idea...but my parents' 25th wedding anniversary is this October...Amazing, isn't it? I must hand it to them for having worked out through all their arguments, problems and situations...Life isn't always peachy-keen...They've taught me and my sister well through words and actions. And I'll never stop being thankful for that.
Need to pack=P
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Saturday, August 21, 2004
Back home from 5 days of camping at Presqu'ile Lake (French for "almost island"!?!), a morning at Laser Quest (happy birthday, Fify and Gloria!!!), an afternoon chilling out and watching "The Bourne Supremacy", and a morning of worship practice.
I'm 10 shades darker than the beginning of this week (with an EXTREMELY bad tank top tan), my many misquito bites are dying down, the cuts on my poor feet from the so-called "beach" are healing up, I've got a toothache (dunno why...)...and well, I'm just plain tired right now=P
Anyhoo, I've gotta go to bed in an hour...sooooooo tired, plus I've gotta wake up bright and early tomorrow=P So, I guess this is "good nite" for now...
Sleepy head,
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Wednesday, August 11, 2004
I haven't read the comics in AGES, but my all-time favourite I think will always be "Mutts"=) The message is always deep, yet true and stated so simply. And yeah, being the animal-lover that I am...hehe...
But yeah...with school coming in a month, I still can't believe gr.12's already here. Time does fly. I feel like I've grown so much, yet I still feel like a child - heck, I still am a child.
I'm looking at my life and thinking to myself that after 17 years - SEVENTEEN YEARS - it feels like I haven't done much with my life. And perhaps you're saying, "Well, Angela, most people at age 17 haven't done too much with their lives..." Well, that's the problem! We often give ourselves the excuse of saying that we're too young to do anything (or well, as enoough time passes it turns to being we're too old), we're too poor to do anything, we're too untalented to do anything,
17 years is a long time, and I have a bed, a house, a family...I've got no excuse. I keep thinking, "Tomorrow..." or "When I'm older...", but when will I be old enough?
It's August and I've gotta start looking at Universities.
What do you want to be when you "grow up"?
If you had asked me in gr.9, I could tell you straight off the bat that I wanted to be a vet. If you asked me in gr.10, I would have told you probably a vet, but architecture looked like an interesting field. In gr. 11, I would've told you something in veterinary sciences or architecture, but that my options are pretty open. And well, if you asked me now, I wouldn't know what to tell you.
I've been thinking about it and it feels like I know more of I know what I don't want than what I do want...
Well, I guess knowing what I don't want helps determine what I do want=P
But then again - isn't that what most people want, anyways? I dunno...The problem isn't that I don't have any options, it's that I have too many options=P I'm preety much covered in terms of math and sciences...the only areas I didn't take too many secondary school courses in are business (none for that matter), social sciences, visual arts and computer technology (although I didtake construction tech and design tech).
It's just if I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life devoted to doing something, it's gotta be something worthwhile, right? But what?
Not much time left...but the thing is, I'm actually not that worried about it. Or well, I wasn't, anyways, until my dad kept bugging me about universities when I got back from Nova Scotia. Like the song says, "que sera sera..." or "whatever will be will be." I'm not sure if not being worried is a good thing, but I trust that God'll direct me in the right direction when it comes down to making "final" decisions.
Why am I still up at 1:54am?
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Tuesday, August 10, 2004
It's so weird being back home...I sleep for practically 9 hours every nite, yet I somehow still feel tired. There's "nothing" to do...just stuck at home. Although, I guess I could clean up that room of mine=P
But yeah, I guess the thing I miss most about Nova Scotia is the freedom I had to just go out whenever I wanted to and when I did go out, that I found myself lost in God's creation...as opposed to the noisy streets of Mississauga.
But yeah, all this sleeping in and not doing anything is kinda annoying me...like I should be doing something more worthwhile with my time. That's one thing I don't like about the summer...There's nothing to do. I would rather be in school sometimes - gives me something productive to do...
But I guess I shouldn't complain, cuz when school does start, I'll probably start stressing and wishing that it was summer again=P It's weird how the human mind and heart works sometimes...we never really appreciate anything until it's gone.
But WAY camp's coming up in a li'l less than a week - and I CAN'T wait! There's gonna be many memorable moments for sure, lots of laughs, lots of tears, and lots of time to reflect on the past few weeks and months...It'll be good time away from the city again=)
Well, I guess I better get going now...practice piano or clean...we'll see how it goes...
Later!
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Sunday, August 8, 2004
Yes, I know - I'm crazy. It's past 2am, I'm supposed to be at church in a li'l less than 7-1/2 hours, but I just finished prepping one of the devos and one of the Bible studies for WAY camp=P Man...a pat on the back to anyone whose ever planned/written a devotion or a Bible study - it's harder than it looks!
Anyhoo...for those who like the photo on the left (or anyone who like photos in general), just click on the pic and it'll link you to my online Nova Scotia album=) hehe...I scanned in the best of my SEVEN rolls of film (which ended up totalling 120 pics - well, 118 of mine and 2 of Vivien's) today...and man, that took a while. But yeah...my first online album, so hopefully it works=P
Alors, je dois me coucher maintenant ou je ne vais pas pouvoir me lever demain matin=P
Bon nuit, mes amis!
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Tuesday, August 3, 2004
I read this quote in one of my friend's books in Nova Scotia and I thought to myself, "This is what I want to do." Our world would be such a better place if everyone wanted to do this, and managed to do this.
"If I thought a word of mine
If I thought that a smile of mine
Happiness is a hard thing to find.
It's hard to find, because...
Like Helen Keller put it so beautifully, "When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."
I was often reminded of old times with old friends - it'd make me smile, but it'd made me miss them - failing to realize (and thus, failing to be thankful) that the past has made me into who I am today. Or I'd be counting down the days until I was going home...wishing the present would pass quicker, so that the future would come - failing to realize (and thus, failing to be thankful) that the present is shaping me to who I will be in the future.
Failing to be thankful to God for the time He has given me to be where I am: right here, right now.
We, humans, can be stubborn at times...I'm lying - a lot of the time=P And a lot of the time, as Albert Einstein said, "...one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.”
ALL FOR YOU - Starfield
Nothing compares to life I have in You.
Here I am as gold to the fire.
It's all for You (x2)
What is it in me that hangs on for so long?
I'll take this life and lay it down.
And I am ready for Your life
Alive in this moment,
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Tuesday, August 3, 2004
Sitting here in front of my computer...listening to the Starfield CD that my sister had bought this past Saturday. I had heard their song, Cry in My Heart, a while ago.
And the last nite I was in Nova Scotia, after our contract was burned - yes, they actually burned a contract to signify that our French-only oath was over - and we could speak in English, I was singing Cry in My Heart in my residence lounge. We had a blackout and no running water - great way to end 5 weeks at Sainte-Anne's, I know=P...and a bunch of us were just chilling out in the candlelight.
And suddenly, when I reached the chorus of the song, one of the girls asked if it was a Starfield song...hehe, she had gone to one of their concerts and heard them live and really lobed them. She suggested me to buy their CD if I ever got the chance - and I did (or well, Cecilia did=P) and well, they're good=)
And I really like their lyrics and their music...it's hard to find good musicians with good tunes and words to go with them nowadays...
Unfortunately, I've gotta keep this short. I've got a piano lesson at 6pm and well, gotta practice seeing that yesterday was the first time I had practiced for 5 weeks=S
Music - a language of the soul...
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Monday, August 2, 2004
Wow...it's almost dinner time. Today went by pretty quickly. I spent most of it just chilling out with my sister at home. We played "Phase 10" all morning - the coolest card game ever! Ate brunch and then played a bit more before doing a li'l bathroom clean-up and watching a Korean romantic comedy called, "My Sassy Girl". It was pretty good.
Plus, I actually practiced piano today - the first time in 5 weeks! And the thing is I've got a lesson tomorrow nite=P Yikes! hehe...the surprising thing is I actually remember my songs...and I can still memorize one of them after 5 weeks!!!
And well, now, here I am - sitting in my messy basement (but hey, it's the coolest part of the house), in front of the computer, listening to the "Sixpence None the Richer" CD Cecilia bought on Saturday.
It's so weird being back home. Unlike Nova Scotia, free time here flies by sooooo quickly. It feels like I only woke up a few hours ago...but I've been up for 10 hours...yes, another thing that's different is I get to sleep in here=P
But yeah...in another few weeks, it's gonna be camping with WAY and then a family trip to Québec and Montréal. So yeah...I'm not spending much time home this summer.
Something interesting about some of my recent conversations with people my age (in Nova Scotia and here) is that they're all talking about jobs they've had or jobs they've got right now. I have yet to get a job=P Yeah...for those who don't know, I've never been paid for doing anything...I'm 17 years old and all I've ever done are just volunteer jobs.
Most people have been saying that I should start looking for a part-time job soon and saving up for university. Something tells me I should...but another part keeps telling me that I won't have time for a part-time job...and that, even if I do have the time for it, why not do volunteer work and help the homeless instead, you know?...and well, in terms of paying for university, I'm hoping for a scholarship=S It's probably not the smartest thing to do...I dunno.
But yeah, it's August already and I've gotta start looking through all those booklets and stuff I got from last year's university fair. I can't believe it's already time to look at universities. Time flies, doesn't it?
Time flies. Things change - drastic or subtle, for better or for worse. Lessons are learned. People mature. People come and go. And after all is said and done, you pray that you've made some sort of eternal difference in this world.
Nothing but a breath,
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Monday, August 2, 2004
Yes, I know...I should probably be in bed=P My dad has already come down a few times to ask if I was going to bed soon. But I figure I could sleep in a bit tomorrow, seeing that it's a holiday=P
Sooo..."continuing" from the thoughts of my last entry. For those who have received the mass e-mails I sent out while I was in Nova Scotia, know that I sent out a LOT of loooong e-mails. Lots of reading. I apologize. And for those who didn't, well, those e-mails were li'l summaries of what I DID there...and something tells me that the li'l summaries of what I LEARNED there will be even longer=P
I chose to quote William Blake today, because this poem is quite well-known (I actually didn't know it was by him until recently, but I think most people have heard of this, or then a close variation of it) and because it reminded me of one of the things I realized about acceptance, forgiveness, unity and love while I was looking at my collection of shells from the beach by Baie Sainte-Marie on campus.
I had collected a total of 30 li'l conches (or well, the spiral shells that snails live in), varying in size, colour, texture, and pattern.
I saw that 2 of the 30 were almost identical, but if you looked carefully, their shape differed just ever so slightly. I also saw that another one of them was completely different in colour AND texture from the others - totally set apart - but well...however different, was still a shell. And amongst the 30 I had found, 5 had a circular hole them (which I used to my advantage in making a hemp bracelet as a souvenir).
And at the end of it all, it made me realize that...if I wanted to, I could pick any one of the 30 and find something about it that would make it different from the rest, and I could form groups of shells and categorize them because of certain traits, and I could hate some more than others because of those specific traits...BUT I could also, just leave it at admiring all of them, because they are each unique in their own way.
I know...this is all really cliché, but the reason way clichés are clichés is because they're true. And having left MCBC when things were starting to look grim in terms of unity and all the things I had heard of while in Nova Scotia, it made me thin kabout the unity in our church.
Our church is relatively big, lots of people - mostly Chinese, but all with their own story to tell. And well, where there's a LOT of people, it's inevitable to have LOTS of opinions also.
And well, yeah...we're all different. We come from different places, some were "made in Hong Kong", while some are "made in Canada" or elsewhere...but we have ONE thing in common - not even the fact that we're Chinese, cuz we DO have regular Caucasian members also - but the love of Christ.
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." - Ephesians 4:2-3
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." - Ephesians 4:32
"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." - Ephesians 5:1-2
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." - Ephesians 5:21
The first one was one of our English congregation's earlier memory verses...and even though we've memorized it well, I think out "putting-it-into-practice" part needs some more work. And I think submission is something that our church struggles with - a lot.
Submission means humility, letting go of one's pride. Something that most don't want to part with. I find in our church, a lot of people of trouble trusting others - an other's ideas, an other's suggestions, an other's work, an other's leadership. As humans, we like to criticize...others moreso than ourselves. And I know I do it too...maybe not so open as to voice it out, but I've thought it.
But...I know if someone wanted to, they could go around criticizing everything that's being done, that people have been putting mind, body, heart,and soul into in order to serve God and His will, and cause deep hurts, scars...things that people just "sweep under the rug". Or, they could look at the fact that the people who are putting mind, body, heart and soul into the church have enough on their shoulders as is and the best way to help is NOT to criticize, but to encourage, prayer, and submit to their leadership, because God has asked us to do so out of reverance for Him.
One of the things that made me really upset at the first congregation meeting I attended was all the childish behaviour I saw...The adults of the church - the people who could greatly influence the future of our future church - were acting like children who were given a group assignment and unable to come to an agreement as to how to do it, because each person had their own picture of what the finished product should be...and the student whom the teacher had appointed to be the leader of the group was being constantly bombarded with various ideas as to how to make the project faster, cheaper, easier, better...
BUT - the thing is, even children and teenagers manage to put aside their differences in the end and concentrate on the bigger picture - an assignment that needed to be complete by a due date that is fast approaching and that will be marked by the teacher.
So, tell me: how is this different from us, Christians, being given the assignment of spreading God's word before Christ's second coming, knowing that when the day of judgement comes, it will be God who will be judging us, our actions, our speech, and our intentions? Is it any different?
It's getting late (1:43am)...and my dad is gonna kill me if I don't go soon...
Later!
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