Plot:
Official Cycle Sluts membership roll call.
| Cycle Slut members | |
|---|
| Name | Personality | Hair Color |
|---|
| Rox | Raging Bull Dyke | Black |
| Dede | Running from her past | Red |
| Jewel | Motherly type | Blonde |
| Tanya | Mute | Black |
| Jojo | Army deserter | Black |
| Lucile | Needing MEAT | Blonde |
| Rusty | Black chick | Black |
TC | Cute one | Black |
Cycle sluts are tooling the down the road, shooting at road signs. They approach the town of Zariah. Rox, leader, orders them to wear the colors, something
adorned with the phrase “Cycle Sluts” on it, before heading into town for some R&R. Dede wants to skip this town. They head into town. A dwarf undertaker
lowers the population sign from 128 to 127.
Willum, the crazy undertaker, takes a body from the coffin and fills it with sandbags. Smoking while delivering the eulogy, he notices a hole in the coffin which is
leaking the sand. He drops the coffin and ends the service, immediately. Cycle Sluts drive into town. The townsfolk look at them disapprovingly as they enter a
café.
A kid enters the abandoned mine. He opens a door seeing a green glow and is killed.
The blind orphan bus is broken down. Yes, a yellow school bus with school for blind orphans on the side. The Zombies try breaking out of the mine, trudge out
slowly. They break through the boarded-up entrance and are free. The bus is still broken down as the Zombies approach. Bus finally kicks on and is driven away
before the driver sees the Zombies.
Lucile rides on off in hot pursuit of “MEAT.” Willum runs over her and takes her body to the funeral home where the other body he snatched earlier is. Lucile is
drained of her blood. Bob, the dwarf, is found hiding under the gurney. Willum drags and places him in the coffin caries it outside and drops in a nearby well. Willum
is doing this to punish Bob for the previous faulty coffin.
TC finds a goofy guy. Rusty finds the local mechanic, needs to use his tools. No, actually torque wrench.
Willum has Lucile and the dead butcher in chairs. He’s ranting how no one thought the dead could be reanimated. He orders Bob to kill the rest of the Cycle
Sluts.
Bob is skulking around with a gun, sneaking up on Dede who’s in the local church. She’s about to leave when Billy Bob AKA Donny (but a redneck should be
called Billy Bob) kisses her. Dede and Billy were married. She doesn’t want any Billy Bob lovin’ which means she’ll experience the Sling Blade, soon enough.
Jewel calls her son to wish him a happy birthday.
One Zombie stands in front of the security camera in the mine staring at it. The rest of them are heading to town.
Rox goes into the local bar where family night is being held for some other dead guy. Goes to the jukebox playing a sad country song and has it play a rock
song. She starts singing and rubbing against the jukebox, dry-humping it. Other Cycle Sluts get some lovin’. Dede and Billy Bob. Jojo walks into a guy’s house and
jumps on top of him.
Jojo leaves as nerdy boy’s mother, a nurse, returns. Nurse lady is glad he got some, gives him a cigarette.
Goofy guy and TC are spray painting the Cycle Sluts logo on the side of the wall. TC wants to be a record producer. Bob has a blowgun and about to use it when
Goofy guy and TC head somewhere more private for sweet lovin’.
Rox and Tanya are at a table in the bar. Rox is talking about all she has is the Cycle Sluts and how she controls them.
Most of the Sluts are gathering. Willum is spying on them. The sheriff is going to do his duty and run them out of town. Willum kills the sheriff.
Back at the bar, guy wants Tanya to kiss the dead guy or say something to him. We learn that she’s a mute. Rox jumps to her defense.
Dede meets with the rest of the Sluts. Bob recognizes her. They hear the commotion from the bar, coffin tossed through the window. The respectable gun-toting
citizens want the Cycle Sluts to make reparations. Billy Bob shows up trying to kiss Dede in front of everyone. Bob remembers she was Homecoming Queen. Rox
demands she choose whether to stay or not. The townsfolk are going to shoot them or hang ‘em high.
Jojo pulls a grenade and uses Billy Bob as human shield for the Sluts to get to their bikes. Rox threatens to kill Dede if she ever sees her again and kicks Dede’s bike
on its side. The Sluts drive out of town.
Some of the Sluts want to head back to town to kick ass and take names. They think Lucile deserted them. Rox isn’t going back.
Zombies keep marching to town. Dede is fixing her bike. Billy Bob tries rekindling the old romance. Everyone Billy Bob liked died. Dede isn’t staying. She can’t
hack normal life. Billy Bob tries professing his love to keep her stay. Dede knees him in the groin and rides off.
Dede looks for Lucile, finds her bike. Sneaking into the funeral home, she finds Lucile’s bloody jacket. Billy Bob followed her. Lucile is in a body bag. The
recently dead butcher grabs Billy who is shot by Willum. Dede is locked in meat locker with the dead Billy Bob.
Willum zombieifes the sheriff. He drills a hole in the head and drops a battery in the hole. Just in case, you didn’t know it. Willum is a mad scientist.
Zombie Lucile still wants “MEAT.” Dede holds Billy’s corpse in front of her trying to entice Lucile to open the door and free her. Zombie Lucile jumps on Billy
as Dede escapes. She traps Willum in the meat locker with the “MEAT” crazy Zombie Lucile. Dede rides away.
Bob realizes the Zombies from the mine have escaped. He refuses to free Willum from the meat locker.
Zombies slowly head into town, still miles away.
Zombies surround a house. Martha Quinn is sick of taking care of the men-folk, father and brother. Dad goes to get some firewood.
The Sluts decide what to do. They start fighting among themselves as Rox antagonizes them with returning to their horrible lives. She wants them all to leave
when Dede arrives.
Martha’s Dad returns. The dead son is at the door. She closes the door as the Zombies storm the house. The zombie attack is inter-cut with the fight between
Rox and Dede. It’s Rox’s bullwhip versus Dede’s switchblade. Back at Firebase Martha, living brother is eaten and so is Dad. Zombie Mom returns and, Martha
gets rid of her with a flaming torch.
Catfight continues, Tanya, the mute tells them to stop. They see the burning house and rush to it. Jewel and Rusty rush in to save the crying baby and manage to
escape.
Cars pull up. The townsfolk want to hang ‘em high, no rope. Townsfolk finally spot the Zombies. Zombie Sheriff staggers away. They see the zombie hordes,
while the Sluts ready to leave. Martha’s house burns to the ground.
Zombies surround the blind orphan bus. We learn the blind kids locked the teachers out. Things don’t look good for them, until, Lance, the foul mouthed, blind
orphan finds the Uzi. Yes, one of the teachers carried an Uzi. Cycle Sluts see this from a distance and don’t know what to do. Jewel rushes to help the blind
orphans. Unfortunately, she crashes and wipes out. Bob arrives in the funeral hearse. They get the blind orphans in the hearse before the bus explodes.
Bob explains how Willum used zombies to mine the radioactive waste. Willum promised ton make Bob tall if he helped him. Sluts are ready to leave. Bob has to
watch over the orphans.
Townsfolk will pay the Sluts to kill the Zombies. The Zombies are awfully close as Rox rides away. Slowly shuffling to town are the zombies. The townsfolk can’t
kill their friends and family and run away. Bob tries running over Willum who escaped from the meat locker.
Rox is on the open road when attacked by Zombies. Dede rides to the rescue. Dede and Rox are on the same page, but, Rox is afraid she can’t hack it anymore
and rides off.
Zombies are doing various things: eating, drinking booze, mowing. Dede has a baseball bat, going to go Sammy Sosa on these undead. Bob mentions the batteries
are in the zombie heads. If you take the head off, body won’t have any power to move around. The Cycle Sluts excluding Rox return to help. They help to the
hardware store for the weapons to defeat this trudging horde of the living dead. It’s not as cool as weapon building scene in Phantasm 2.
The one street in the town has road flares lining it. The weapon carrying Cycle Sluts prepare for battle. Head rolling fun ensues. Shotguns, torches, staple
gunning the zombies ensue. The chainsaw low blow ensues. Bob just goes up to the zombies and shoots them in the heads.
Willum is angered by this and gives the zombies guns. The sheriff’s son discovers dad is a zombie, locks him in the house, hoping no one notices him. The zombies
aren’t good shots, but at least, are trying to use the guns. No zombie shoots itself. Rox returns and uses a flare gun to finish them off.
Wait, which was only the scouting party. The main zombie forces are just reaching town now. Willum orders these zombies to kill the Cycle Sluts. He sounds
like a demented football coach ordering his cannibalistic flesh-eating team to “Eat that one for the Gipper.”
Bob thinks the zombies might leave everyone alone if they return the blood that was drained from the zombies. Shy guy gets some explosives for Jojo, the
demolitions expert. The plan is lure the zombies into one place. The church bell begins ringing. The blind orphans will be used as Zombie bait to lure the zombies to
the church and blow it up destroying the zombies.
Jojo is making the bomb. Goofy guy and TC are getting meat to lure the zombies to the church. Drag the meat so far ahead of them let the zombies reach for it
pull it a few feet away and repeat the process. They are filling the ice cream truck full of meat which will have the zombies follow them to the church.
Willum tries shooting at them but is wounded himself.
Zombies head to church as the blind orphan choir is singing “Oh, Holy Night.” They enter and trudge along and some sit down in the pews, too. Willum has
managed to block the blind orphans escape route. Dede crashes the ice cream truck through the wall. The bomb has been set.
Willum tries using a blind orphan as a hostage. Zombie manages to take a bite of Willum.
Dede is trapped in the church with no bullets in her gun. Lance still has his Uzi. An Uzi in the hands of the blind is still a dangerous weapon. Dede and Lance try
to get out. The zombies are swarming the ice cream truck. The bomb explodes.
Willum tries driving away but is decapitated.
The Cycle Sluts think that Dede is dead. They see they’re in the church’s bell tower.
The next day, the blind orphan and Bob are inducted into the Cycle Sluts. The townsfolk watch disapprovingly at them.. We see the zombie sheriff is there and no
one is complaining about him.
The Cycle Sluts are about to leave after they get the money. Goofy guy decides to go with TC. Nerd Boy is going with Jojo. They ride out of town.
Set several cases of explosives in the mine to take care of it. On the road, Rox tosses most of the money away. See a zombie wandering in the desert….The
end.
