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Hidden (1987)


Cast:

Kyle "Father, the SLEEPER HAS AWAKENED!!!" MacLachlan is Lloyd Gallagher
Michael "I can never escape the Flashdance, (What a feeling) references..." Nouri is Tom Beck
Clarence Felder is Lt. John Masterson
Clu "Looney Toons from Hell Comes To Frogtown" Gulager is Lt. Ed Flynn
Claudia "Who Knew Commander Ivanova could shake it so fine?" Christian is the stripper, Brenda Lee Van Buren


What the box says:

From the makers of A Nightmare on Elm Street, Kyle MacLachlan and Michael Nouri star is spine-chilling sci-fi thriller about an extra-terrestrial creature invading the bodies of innocent victims.

Plot:

Apparently New Line Cinema is scared of people watching DVDs on computers. So much so, that my DVD software can't play their disc. The DVD software on the disc is craptacular most of the time it can't even play the DVD. On top of that, I couldn't get any screen pics at all. That's why no machine gun wielding Claudia Christian pictures are on the review...

A surveillance camera in a bank catches, a trench-coat clad man walks inside. Pulling out a shotgun, he opens fire and casually grabs some cash and walks out. A bank guard gets perforated before the robber, DeVries, hops in a black Ferrari.

The chase begins with a prototype for a real-life Carmageddon. DeVries drives through a nearby park and is able to run over a guy in a wheelchair. In less than 5 minutes into the movie, we get one of the most black-humor shots with the wheelchair guy.

Lieutenant Tom Beck is questioning neighbors about DeVries. He seemed to be the typical quiet guy until going onto a crime spree.

Back to the chase, the large plate glass window being carried across the street doesn't make it.

The police have set up a large roadblock for the approaching DeVries. Beck arrives at the scene.

DeVries is speeding up when the police open fire. The Ferrari explodes.

Later at the hospital, DeVries is on a respirator and not expected to last very long. We learn from Beck that DeVries in the past 2 weeks has robbed numerous stores and banks and killed at least 12 people.

At the precinct, Special Agent Lloyd Gallagher of the FBI arrives. He is assigned to Tom Beck. Gallagher had come for DeVries who isn't expected to survive the night.

In the hospital, DeVries sits up and a slug like thing crawls out of his mouth and into the mouth of the other patient in the room. DeVries collapses onto the floor. A doctor and a nurse rush in and apply the cardiac paddles when Miller, the other patient, sits up.

The doctor briefs Gallagher about Miller who was a kind man.

In a record shop, Miller shoplifts and beats the clerk. Taking the money from the register and a boombox, he leaves.

Gallagher wants Beck to help him find Miller. The radio informs of them about a body at a record shop. Gallagher interviews the witness when Beck suggests he leave.

A sketch seems to indicate that Miller was the attacker. Gallagher explains that DeVries and Miller are just aliases. Beck goes off with him.

In a restaurant, customers are disturbed by Miller's boombox blaring 80s rock. As Miller enjoys a steak, a gaseous state ensues. Spotting a red Ferrari pass by, he runs out and starts to have some heart problems.

Back at the record shop, Gallagher is attacking very suspicious which is very common for Kyle MacLachlan. Beck wants to know what is going on with seemingly normal people suddenly becoming violent killers. The best answer he is given is Miller goes after what he wants and will kill to get it.

Miller is at a Ferrari dealership as a guy returns from a test drive. The dealer blows him off, and the test driver is awfully pissy, too. When Miller gets in the car, the mechanic is ordered to get rid of Miller. Our gassy villain is tossed off the car lot but returns and introduces the mechanic to a lead transfusion.

The buyer and the dealer in more ways than one are partaking of a white powder when Miller storms in demanding the keys. The two are introduced to a lead transfusion, too. Miller hits the road in his new Ferrari.

Beck and Gallagher arrive at the dealership.

Miller is cruising but apparently can't pick up any chicks with his Ferrari. He finds a few cards to some gentlemen's clubs in the wallet of the guy he killed.

Beck and Gallagher discuss DeVries and Miller. Gallagher reveals that Miller killed his partner.

Miller breaks into an office and discovers quite a cache of weapons. He collapses and the slug tries to crawl out of him.

Back at the precinct, Beck learns the dead car buyer was a weapons dealer. A cop brings in a flamethrower from a case. Could that be a plot point?

Beck gets a call from his wife and decides to bring Gallagher to dinner. At Beck's house, Gallagher is acting strange more so that what he has been acting. Beck checks on his daughter, Julia.

Miller is still on the road.

At dinner, Gallagher is being fairly evasive about his whereabouts. He finally reveals that his wife and daughter were killed by the man who killed his partner.

Claudia Christian is not living up to her last name. She engages in some stripper fu. Miller is at the bar. Gyrating Commander Ivanova continues. Miller is getting sicker.

The police spot the stolen Ferrari outside the club.

Beck gets the call and wakes up Gallagher who is apparently hung-over from the one beer he had earlier.

Claudia is back in her dressing room when Miller walks up to grab her.

Cops watch a mini-dress clad Claudia strut away.

Claudia heads to the Ferrari when a sleazy guy hits on her and tries impressing her with his fancy car.

The cops find Miller's body.

Rocking the caddy ensues. Apparently, the sleazy guy couldn't handle the full Ivanova. His body is tossed out. Claudia feels herself up and drives away.

Beck questions the girl who found Miller's body. Gallagher is determined to find Claudia. Sleazy guy's body is found in a nearby parking lot. Once again, Beck wants to know what is happening.

Claudia runs a red light and is chased by a police car. She pulls her car over and feels herself up in front of the cops before whipping out an assault rifle. Needless to say, the police are unable to chase her any longer.

Beck and Gallagher spot the shot-up police car. Chasing Claudia ensues...The sequel to Kevin Smith's movie Chasing Amy. She is able to keep shooting at them. Finally, Gallagher is able to shoot one of the car tire's out. Her car crashes. Beck and Gallagher go after on foot and head into the nearby warehouse.

Beck is able to shoot Claudia once. However, she keeps going. They follow her to the roof. Splitting up, Claudia opens fire. Beck gets knocked off the roof and hanging by the ledge. Gallagher starts putting caps in Claudia like Tommy Kirk in Old Yeller. He pulls Beck to safety and keeps shooting her. Finally, Gallagher pulls out a small silver hand held weapon.

Claudia still isn't giving up by jumping off the roof.

The police arrive on the scene. A dog finds Claudia's dead body when the slug possesses the canine. Gallagher gets to the body and is very worried.

Beck wants to know what is going on. Gallagher refuses to talk. It is still out there. As Gallagher walks away, Beck has him arrested.

At the station, Beck is checking back with his wife. The Lieutenant has Gallagher's effects including the ray gun. Apparently, the real Lloyd Gallagher has been dead for the past month. He was last seen in the company of a man who has assumed his identity.

The dog attacks one of the police lieutentants. Yes, Killer Lassie ensues....

Beck is ready to question Gallagher. Apparently, the real Gallagher is dead was seen shortly before his death in the company of a man who is now impersonating him. He doesn’t really want to explain anything. Gallagher finally admits that all the wackos are actually just one nut job. An alien possess a body and uses it until it is ruined. Gallagher knows it will come after him. The ray gun is the only thing that can kill it when the alien is between bodies.

Gallagher is locked back in a cell.

Beck heads home.

Lieutenant Masterson heads in on his day off and is introduced to the Senator’s entourage.

Lab guy at the police station finds the ray gun and tests it. When the walk blows up, the police rush to the disturbance.

Masterson gets the ray gun and a semi-automatic. He convinces Beck to take him to Gallagher. Masterson starts shooting some of the police. Beck is able to get away with the ray gun.

Masterson seems to be getting awfully filled by lead from his brother officers.

Beck gets to the cell block and gets the ray gun back to Gallagher.

Masterson blows his way into the cell block. Beck opens fire on him. One well placed bazooka blast later, Masterson escapes.

Gallagher is sure that the slug will switch soon. The ray gun is ineffective on human bodies. They follow Masterson’s trail and find his body. Willis is possessed now.

The Senator’s motorcade arrives at the hotel.

Beck and Gallagher rush into the hotel.

Willis is going after the Senator. Everyone chases after him.

Cops are filling Willis full of holes. However, he just keeps coming. Beck is shot in the gut. Gallagher stays with him. Willis is gunning the bodyguards down.

Willis gets to the Senator. Next scene has the police finding Willis’s dead body at the feet of the Senator.

Gallagher is sure the alien has possessed the Senator now. Beck is wheeled off in an ambulance.

At the press conference about Willis’s assassination attempt, the Senator announces his candidacy for presidency.

Gallagher gets past the guards. They start shooting at him, when he whips out a flamethrower to BBQ the Senator. He is surrounded by cops. The slug crawls out of the Senator. Gallagher is able to zap it with the ray gun and collapses.

At the hospital, Beck is on life support. Barbara, his wife, is distraught to say the least. Gallagher sneaks into the room when Beck starts to flat line.

Gallagher turns the life support machine off and regurgitates his life force into Beck. OK, not a good description, watch it and come up with a better description yourself.

Barbara and the daughter rush in and find Gallagher on the floor. Beck awakens. Barbara is ecstatic. Julia slowly takes her father’s hand.


What I say:

The mid to late 80s had quite a number of buddy cop movies like Lethal Weapon and quite a number of variations have been played out. What else could be done? Then, some writer came up with the idea of a cop and an alien cop against an an evil alien. It is not movie gold. The Hidden has a stronger script and good cast for what would normally be considered an forgotten sci-fi flick from the 1980s.

For a while, it seemed that Kyle MacLachlan almost could have made a career of portraying enigmatic FBI agents. After David Lynch's Dune, it did not bode well for him. With as strange as the 80s Dune was, Kyle can't really be blamed for the faults of the movie. For the few Frank Herbert fans out there, just be glad Alejandro Jodorowsky wasn't able to make his version in the 70s. Hopefully,a couple of Dune fans got my lame joke at the top of the review. Well, between the Hidden and Twin Peaks, he seemed to be heading in that direction. A infamous movie by the name of Showgirls didn't exactly improve his acting reputation.

So many movies always portray aliens as superior to humans. Earthlings are too warlike, etc...It is about time we had some aliens that come to Earth to party though not in the Earth Girls Are Easy Way. We finally get some aliens that want to engage in a bit of ultra-violence to steal a quote from Clockward Orange. I can't really think of many movies that have aliens coming to Earth and wanting to engage in crime sprees. I Come in Peace and Predator 2 are the closest that would fit in the alien criminal genre. Any aliens that go to Earth and start massacring large number of people even if they are drug lords has to be considered criminal behavior. I want to say there is one called Peacekeeper about an alien cop chasing an alien crook on Earth but just don't really want to search IMDB for it at the moment.

The parasitic slug just doesn't look that good 18 years later. My how, the time has slipped away. It wasn't comparable to Rob Bottin's effects for 1982's Thing. If your special effects aren't going to compare, it is far better to be blown away by the best than the worst. Still a giant leech crawling up and down throats does have an inherent grossness about it.

It's nice to know that aliens love sports cars like Ferraris and Corvettes. Too bad, no DeLoreans were used. Sorry, I'm required to make at least one vague Back to the Future reference to all sci-fi movies from the late 80s. I don't think that Carmageddon will ever be made into a movie. Though with Uwe Boll around, nothing is impossible. Death Race 2000 is probably the closest to a pro-vehicular homicide movie.

Even with aliens being 2 of the main characters, if you ignore the slug shown twice for only a few seconds, the first hour of the movie has absolutely no other references to aliens. They play it incredibly straight for the most part even with such an off-the-wall plot.

Claudia Christian is better known as Commander Susan Ivanova off of Babylon 5 to the hordes of Sci-Fi fans. I've not really heard this movie mentioned to the point that would get fans to watch it for her unlike say Marina Sirtis appearance in Death Wish 3. Well, Claudia could have definitely have worked quite a career in gentlemen clubs had the acting fell through. A movie with a chick wielding a machine gun after crawling around on a stage may not be empowering to females. It would be celebrated by us, the crude males...

That is one of the confusing things. It features 3 different lieutenants which are hard enough to keep track of: Micheal Nouri, Clu Galagher, and Clarence Felder. With so many characters, it did get a little hard to keep track of everyone at some points. The infamous "let's not mention the character names for quite some time" happened. Granted checking IMDB for the credits helped. However, a movie shouldn't require complex research to tell who played what role.

Having a guy in a wheelchair run over by a Ferrari is horrible. Sorry, my twisted sense of humor finds it hilarious. Any movie that ends with an alien barbecuing a US Senator that is controlled by an evil alien slug has so many automatic cool points. Unfortunately, a sequel was made: Hidden 2. While not as bad as quite number of sequels, it is nowhere near as good as the original. OK, I was slightly obsessed with Kate Hodge when I first saw that movie.



4 1/2 NINJAS

Quotable Dialogue

"What he do rob a bank?"
"I don't do traffic tickets."
"He likes Ferraris."
"What the hell is this guy doing with his pants down?"
"Why don't we wait until after she's dead?"
"Altairians are a filthy people."
"I want to be President."


Morals of the Story

You must abandon wheelchair-bound people to the path of ongoing Ferraris.
FBI agents can easily afford $100,000 sports cars.
Car dealers share cocaine with extremely valued custoners.
Aliens hate easy listening music.
Alien cops can't handle their beer.
Using a flamethrower isn't a crime if a slug monster cawls out of his body.