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Inside Man (1984)

Slagskämpen


Cast:

Dennis "Seaman from Night Tide" Hopper is Miller
Hardy Kruger is Mandell
Gosta Ekman is Stig Larsson
David Wilson is Baxter


What the box says:

Inspired by a true story, The Inside Man depicts a secretive tale that originally took place in 1981 when a Soviet Submarine was found on the coast of Sweden. Missing from it was a top secret laser search device. Hired to investigate the disappearance is American F.B.I. agent Miller, played by Dennis Hopper. Together with his young assistant, Gosta Elkman, they face a life or death struggle against foreign agents. Based on the book, The Fighter by Harry Kullman.


Plot:

1981 Sweden, a Soviet sub crashed into Swedish waters. Apparently, Swedish territorial boundaries are frequently invaded. A top secret sub detection device is being tested. The powers that be, military, etc ready for the test that involves quite a bit of technobabble about the laser before it is tested.

Later, a theft at the sub laser testing lab ensues. As the thief, Baxter, drives away, the building explodes.

Various agencies are investigating the explosion. Miller realizes it must be an inside job and the Russians could have the laser detection system which would put the Soviets years ahead in sub detection technology.

Elsewhere the Swedish military has a training exercise. Underwater net cutting ensues. Too dark to see what is happening.

Naked frolicking military guys ensue and breaks into a towel fight. Kalim is chewed out and drummed out of the service.

At the gym, Kalim meets Stig who claims he can help get him back in the military. He is to be hired as Mandrill’s chauffer. Mandrill is the head of the company that made the laser sub detector.

Later, Mandrill’s current chauffer is busted for concealed drugs.

Miller and Mandrill are arguing for the first of many times. Later Miller checks with the cops to see if they have any leads.

Kalim is celebrating his new job with his girlfriend as Mandrill’s new chauffer. Let the lovin’ begin.

The next day, Kalim is ready for his first day on the job.

Elsewhere, Stig is chewed out for not recovering the laser and keeping Miller updated.

Mandrill has Kalim drive him to the mansion. Baxter shows Kalim around the grounds. They head back to the city and try to sink the cue ball. Some Swedish guy picks a fight with them.

Mandrill and Miller argue again.

Spying ensues before some guy is sniped. It was Mandrill’s first chauffer who was in jail.

Kalim and his girlfriend are jogging when he has to report to Stig. Later, Kalim is showed how to access Mandrill’s computer.

That night, at Mandrill’s party, Kalim is able to sneak into the study and gets the info from the computer.

The next day, Stig looks over the data and realizes that Mandrill’s company is in serious financial difficulties. Miller pops up and demands to know how Stig got the data.

Kalim is on a date with one of Mandrill’s employees. Later, he finds that his apartment has been ransacked. He checks with Stig and Mandrill.

Miller chews out Stig and demands that any evidence about Mandrill be brought.

That night, Kalim is trailing some guy. Spy camera picture taking ensues. Lazlo, an arms dealer, is selling secrets to the Soviets.

Miller isn’t impressed with the photos. Mandrill is selling the lasers through Lazlo to the Soviets. Miller also learns that Kalim is the inside man. Miller and Stig chew out Kalim.

Kalim learns that Mandrill has fired him.

Stig waits for Kalim and refuses to help him get back in the Marines.

Later, Kalim is drifting around when learning of a Soviet sub that was found inside Swedish territory.

Baxter beats Kalim to force him to stay out or die.

Kalim gets his wounds tended to by his girlfriend. In the morning, he decides to hunt down Baxter. Stig set him to get thrown out of the Marines, etc…

Airport, the police track Lazlo but lose him.

Kalim heads after Baxter and is still following him.

Lazlo meets with Baxter in a parking lot. Kalim is nearby.

The police finally get a lead.

Kalim is still on the trail.

At a hockey game, Stig accuses Mandrill of theft, dealing with Lazlo, etc…Miller claims the laser doesn’t work, and Stig’s boss is on the entire operation.

Kalim is still following Lazlo.

Docks, too dark to see, Baxter is choking Kalim. Suddenly, the car crashes into the water and only Kalim surfaces.

The police arrive. Stig tells Kalim about there not being a working laser detector. Stig will try to get him back into the Marines. Kalim is pretty angry about the entire deal.

Kalim heads off on a workout and learns he didn’t get back into the Marines. A lame pseudo James Bond type song assaults us about being the Inside Man as Kalim drives away and is followed.


What I say:

I understood going into this movie it wasn't horror, sci-fi, or a more standard genre B-movie. Just picking up the DVD, the description of the movie sounded like a made-for-TV movie. Well, the random bits of nudity convinced me it wasn't a made-for-TV movie. When the only other reviews of this movie are either in German or Swedish, I don't think I'm going to uncover any new facts. The more I watched of this movie, the more I realized it became more of a chore...One of the obvious signs of a bad in the opposite of good definition of the word...This thing had me almost begging for a made for TV movies from the 1970s and you;ll understand why I say that after my deluded ranting...

This movie was made back in the days of the Cold War. The world may have been on the brink of nuclear devestation but at least they made decent spy movies excluding anytyhing that had Roger Moore battling a blonde Christopher Walkena dn Grace Jones while Duran Duran sang about "killing a view" or a "view to a kill." I get distracted...We have various American and Russian agents engaging in the typical non-Dabney Coleman Cloak and Dagger manner of spying. That should at least be somewhat interesting. Apparently, the director must have not received that memo.

Dennis Hopper is plastered over the cover to deceive people into thinking that he actually is an important part of the movie. The fact he is dubbed with someone who is apparently 93.2154% bored to death doesn't help. Whether you're a big Hopper fan or not, he never really comes across as dull. In Speed, he's a crazed bomber. All the other movies I've seen with him never had had him so dull even the early ones before he went insane after being in Easy Rider. Night Tide is one of his early movies but is leaps and bounds above this one.

The theme song played over the end credits must be one of the worst theme songs ever. Just take the phrase "inside man" and include various phrases about danger, PRESTO instant end theme song. It is a shame that the Dudley Manlove quartete hasn't heard that song and added it to their repetoire. Even some of the really strange ones like Green Slime has some endearing charm about being a 60s acid rock warbling about believing in Green Slime when you're dead. Practically every single Blaxspolitation movie has a good theme or Isaac Hayes composed quite a few of them like Shaft or Truck Turner.

First off, all of these characters are mean-spirited, uninteresting, and deserve to be dropped into an industrial sized meat grinder feet first. We have Stig, the cop, frames a guy for a crime he didn't commit and gets a guy thrown out of the military to use him as an undercover agent. Kassim is the hero but needs anger management and attempts to cheat on his girlfriend. Dennis Hopper and obviously industrialist yell at each other more than a high school couple right before prom...That is an unfair comment, it is more like a couple in high school where the girl is arguing that her boyfriend is giving more attention to the new girl.

The Inside Man is one of the worst movies I reviewed. This movie is just a hair above Massacre. That isn't a glowing recommendation. After the few of those I've endured, I was pretty sick of them. Inside Man has got me to appreciate them for awhile until I watch another of them again...The worst thing a movie can be is boring. Even if a movie has bad dialogue or special effects it can be enjoyed in at least the "they can't actually being doing something that dumb..." levels. The Inside Man can only be enjoyed on the level of thinking that Dennis Hopper either was in this movie to pay a gambling or drug debt...

If this is what Sweden is like, that would explain Troll Rock and Odin worshipping...


1/2 NINJAS

Quotable Dialogue

"Grab that laser overe there."
"Military intelligence, there is no such thing."
"Tell him to screw himself."
"Did you tell her about your herpes?"


Morals of the Story

Swedish military lacks a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
Numerous guys horsing around naked is perfectly normal.
Champagne and McDonald's hamburgers are a romantic dinner.
Sweden fought in Vietnam.
Computer hacking can be learnt competently in 2 hours.
5 1/2" floppies can store 2.5 megabyted of data.
Accordians are really popular in Sweden.
Dennis Hopper really loves ice hockey.