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Joanne Francine Joyce

(Born: Indiana, USA - Now residing in: Perth, West Australia)

Site Contents

Poetry that is either very 
sad or very colourful
The Colour Green
Diana
Do-It-Yourself Love Poem
Letter To A Grown-Up Child
Money Cannot Buy...
Mr. Right
Rabbit Stew
Rainbows at Night
The Runner
Short Poems
The Sun and the Moon
Sunset Over the Ocean
What Good Is War?

Word Fun

All-American Word Find
All-Australian Word Find
What's Your Phobia?
Oxymorons
American-Australian translation
Do-It-Yourself Award
Net Jargon
Test Your Vocabulary

Other Features

In Memoriam
My favourite websites
My Favourite Quotes
Aussie Songs
Egyptian Art Page
My Favourite Movie Moments
Bogus Scientific Theories

This is me when I believed the sky is painted blue.

Australia is a great place to live. Whether it's the
city or the country or the forest or the beach or the
desert or snowy mountains you like to live in, Australia
has it all.

This is how old I feel

My favourite hobbies include using computers and the
internet for art, word processing, playing games and
keeping up with the latest news. I also like drawing,
going for walks, reading, and watching movies.

I failed the audition to play Rose

In Australia, the platypus is living proof that God
has a sense of humor.

Email: jofranjo.geo@yahoo.com

This website was last updated May 2008


My favourite performer was kidnapped by Queen  
Green Franceena of the planet Zorbitex, whose  
spaceship (The 'Octopia') looks like the Titanic! 
As you can see, she does not seek any ransom.
How do female aliens behave when they're in
love?

Sound Files containing my voice

Austin Powers/Dr. Evil_(April 2000)(393KB)**
The ultimate thriller movie_(October 2000)(231KB)*
The merry widow_(July 2000)(852KB)*
A runaway bride_(August 2000)(282KB)*
Charlie's fourth 'angel'_(December 2000)(370KB)*
A Very Old Woman_(December 2000)(161KB)*
Death of a Cookie Salesman_(June 2000)(692KB)*
Buying cookies from my favorite actor_(April 2000)(704KB)*
Close Encounters of the Third Kind_(February 2001)(435KB)*
Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind_(February 2001)(211KB)*
The Little Witch Who Could (part one)_(March 2001)(240KB)*
The Little Witch Who Could (part two)_(March 2001)(187KB)***
An interview with my favorite actor_(June 2000)(538KB)*
Singing with my favorite actor_(284KB)*
A special delivery_(July 2001)(151KB)***
Getting high on helium_(January 2001)(219KB)*
The Coyote man_(May 2000)(213KB)*
The world's worst interviewer_(July 2001)(308KB)*
Joanne's Hair Salon_(June 2001)(335KB)***
Royal birth_(August 2000)(335KB)***

* - Contains the voice of Tim Curry (unauthorized).
** - Contains the voice of Mike Myers (unauthorized).
*** - Contains the voice of Saddam Hussein (just kidding!)

These sound files are purely fictional, and were inspired by the
movies and television performances of my favourite actors.


This site has been hit If you can read this, your eyes are too 
close to the screen. times.


Why chocolate is better than sex:

Why a good laugh is better than sex:


Joanne's Entertainment Awards
Best male actor's voice: Hugh Grant
Worst male actor's voice: Jerry Lewis
Best Male Singing Voices Frank Sinatra, Tom Jones, Freddie Mercury,
George Michael, Elvis Presley, and 'Boy George'.
Worst Male Singing Voice Joe Cocker
Best Female Singing Voice Olivia Newton-John
Worst Female Singing Voice Macy Gray (but she does sing well)
Sexiest Male Singing Voice George Michael
Sexiest Female Singing Voice Toni Braxton
Best Stand-up Comedian Billy Connolly
Best Hitchcock movie Vertigo, starring James Stewart
Best Christmas comedy movie Christmas Vacation
All-time best child actor Shirley Temple
Best song remake 'Itchycoo Park', by M People
Songs with best back-up vocals Male Artist - 'Cry for Help', by Rick Astley
Female Artist - 'I Hope You Dance', by L. Womack
Best Australian song I Touch Myself', by The Divinyls
Best love song 'The Power of Love', by Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Best song from a movie 'Your Song', from 'Moulin Rouge'
Funniest dance performance in a movie Austin Powers dancing in front of the fembots, in the first
Austin Powers film.
Best male rock singer Meatloaf
Best pop diva Annie Lennox
Best movie comedy team Monte Python
Best TV cartoon show (present) The Simpsons
Best TV cartoon show (past) The Flintstones
Best comedy actor and actress John Cleese and Lucille Ball
Last updated May 2008

This website first begun 03-03-1998

Joan ne F. J oyce