X-Files Quotes Season 5

'Redux I'
"Mulder, what are you doing? Why are you sitting in my bedroom in the dark?"
--Dana Scully

"As you compound the lies, you compound the consequences for them."
--Walter Skinner

Michael Kritschgau: "What you want most desperately of all..."
Fox Mulder: "The cure for Scully's cancer?"

"I never underestimated Mulder. I still don't."
--Cigarette Smoking Man

"Keep going FBI woman..."
--Fox Mulder
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"All lies lead to the truth, isn't that right?"
--Dana Scully

"Level four clearance - That means I get to dine at the officer's club?"
--Fox Mulder

"That would mean that for four years we've been nothing more than pawns in a game, that it was a lie from the beginning."
--Dana Scully

"A lie to find the truth..."
--Fox Mulder

"But as they lie to us, we can lie to them."
--Fox Mulder

"You're going to use me as I've been used all along, to preserve the lies."
--Dana Scully

'Redux II'
"Sorry son of a bitch speaking."
--Fox Mulder

"Please tell me you're here with severe chest pain."
--Fox Mulder (to Cancerman)

"You don't want to forget who your friends are, Agent Mulder."
--Walter Skinner

"We all have our faith, and mine is in the truth."
--Fox Mulder

Walter Skinner: "You're moving pretty good for a dead man."
Fox Mulder: "I'm only half dead."

"I'm here tonight as a friend, Agent Mulder."
--Cigarette Smoking Man

"I'm officially one of the undead."
--Fox Mulder

'Unusual Suspects'
"Hello, pretty lady!"
--Frohike

Langly: "Say it. Say it!"
Frohike: "Your kung fu is the best."

Byers: "The truth is... none of us is safe. Secret elements within the U.S. government seek to surveille us and control our lives."
Fox Mulder: "What?!"
Frohike: "Tell him about the hotel bibles. "

"Daddy needs a new sword of wounding..."
--Langly

"Here's a tip: aluminum foil makes a lovely hat and blocks out the government's mind control rays."
--Detective Munch

Frohike: "You look like a gentleman who would appriciate 33 channels of crystal clear television."
Fox Mulder: "No thanks, Handsome."
Frohike: "Ah, a man of distinction... punk ass."

"Welcome to the dark side."
--Frohike
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'Detour'
Fox Mulder: "I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who was already naked."
Dana Scully: "Maybe if it rains sleeping bags, you'll get lucky."
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"You know, unfortunately around this time of year I always develop a severe hemorrhoidal condition."
--Fox Mulder

"Kill me now."
--Fox Mulder

"I'll be back soon and we can build a tower of furniture, 'kay?"
--Fox Mulder
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"Sometimes I think some work on your communications skills wouldn't be such a bad idea."
--Dana Scully
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Fox Mulder: "Par-tay!"
Dana Scully: "I must remind you--this goes against the bureau's policy of male and female agents consorting in the same hotel room while on assignment."
Mulder: "Try any of that tailhook crap on me, Scully, I'll kick your ass!"
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Agent Kinsley: "I couldn't believe how hard it was not to use the word 'but'!"
Fox Mulder: "I'm having that same problem right now!"

Jeff Glaser: "Nature is populated by creatures either trying to kill something they need to survive or trying to avoid being killed by something that needs them to survive. If we become blinded by the beauty of nature, we may fail to see its cruelty and violence."
Dana Scully: "Walt Whitman?"
Glaser: "No. 'When Animals Attack' on the FOX network."

Dana Scully: "Ever thought seriously about dying?"
Fox Mulder: "Yeah, once, when I was at the Ice Capades."

Fox Mulder: "How do I say this without using any negative words, Scully?"
Dana Scully: "You want me to tell them that you're not going to make it to this year's teamwork seminar."
Fox Mulder: "Yeah. You see that? We don't need that conference. We have communication, like that, unspoken, you know what I'm thinking."

"No! Yes, actually, yeah."
--Fox Mulder
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Fox Mulder: "...Witnesses described them as primitive-looking men with red, piercing eyes. Became known as the 'mothmen.' I got an X-File dating back to 1952 on it."
Dana Scully: "What would that be filed next to, the Cockroach That Ate Cincinnati?"
Mulder: "No, the Cockroach That Ate Cincinnati is in the Cs; Mothmen's over in the Ms."

Agent Kinsley: "You're just making this up."
Fox Mulder: "Why do you say that?"
Kinsley: "Because you work on the X-Files and you just want to write off your motel."

'Post Modern Prometheus'
"Scully, do you think it's too soon to get my own 1-900 number?"
--Fox Mulder

Dana Scully: "Peanut butter sandwiches?"
Fox Mulder: "Do you think bologna would be more effective?"

"I'm alarmed that you would reduce these people to a stereotype. Not everybody dreams to get on Jerry Springer."
--Fox Mulder

"The other victims... they had their frying pans... violated."
--Fox Mulder

'Christmas Carol'

'Emily'

'Kitsunegari'
"Why wait when it's true love? You never know how long you have."
--Linda Bowman

"Okay, look. You do me a favor, Scully. You give me a call when you think I've come to my senses, alright?"
--Fox Mulder

"Either you come back here on your own or I'll drag your sorry ass back on the bumper of my car."
--Fox Mulder

'Schizogeny'
"Hey, Scully, is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all?"
--Fox Mulder
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'Chinga'
"You're obviously not a fan of American Bandstand, Scully."
--Fox Mulder

Fox Mulder: "There's got to be an explanation."
Dana Scully: "Oh I don't know. I think some things are better left unexplained."

Fox Mulder: "Scully..."
Dana Scully: "Yes?"
Mulder: "Marry me."
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"You didn't find a talking doll, did you Scully?"
--Fox Mulder

Dana Scully (on phone): "Scully."
Fox Mulder: "Hey, Scully, it's me."
Scully: "Mulder, I thought we had an agreement. We were both going to take the weekend off."
Mulder: "Right, right, right, I know. But-but I-I-I just received some information about a--about a case. A classic X-File, a classic. I wanted to share it with you."
Scully: "Mulder, I'm on vacation. The weather is clear. I'm looking forward to hitting the road and breathing in some of this fine New England air."
Mulder: "You didn't rent a convertible, did you?"
Scully: "Why?"
Mulder: "Are you aware of the statistics on decapitation?"
Scully: "Mulder, I'm hanging up. I'm turning off my cell phone. I'm back in the office on Monday."
Mulder: "You shouldn't talk and drive at the same time either. Are you aware of the statistics...hello?"

'Kill Switch'
Esther Nairn: "Are you going to take off these cuffs or do I have to do this with my tongue?"
Fox Mulder: "You don't want to take a vote."
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Dana Scully: "Mulder, that's evidence."
Fox Mulder: "Gee, I hope so."
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"Imagine being mingled so completely with another that you no longer need your physical self. You're one."
--Esther Nairn

"She is so hot!"
--Frohike

"Are these the brain donors that nearly got us incinerated?"
--Esther Nairn

"You have to call my doctor! Call Dr. Scully!"
--Fox Mulder

"Buenos dias, muchacha."
--Esther Nairn

'Bad Blood'
"Oh, sh..."
--Fox Mulder
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Dana Scully: "That is essentially the way it happened."
Fox Mulder: "Except for the part about the buck teeth."

Dana Scully: "Well, it's obviously not a vampire."
Fox Mulder: "Well, why not?"
Scully: "Because they don't exist?"
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"I was drugged!"
--Fox Mulder
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"I do it all for you Mulder!"
--Dana Scully
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"I did not!"
--Fox Mulder
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"Do you have an old cemetery in town, off the beaten path, the creepier the better?"
--Fox Mulder

"Hope you brough your cowboy boots."
--Fox Mulder
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"You know, I haven't eaten since six o'clock this morning and all that was was half of a cream cheese bagel and it wasn't even real cream cheese, it was lite cream cheese."
--Dana Scully

Dana Scully: "Was there any signs of--"
Fox Mulder: "Two small puncture wounds on the neck?"
Scully: "That's not what I was going to ask."
Mulder: "Too bad. We got 'em. Check it out."

Dana Scully: "Having completed the autopsy, I checked into the Davey Crocket Motor Court."
Fox Mulder: "The name of it was actually the Sam Houston Motor Lodge."

"Daylight's burning agents..."
--Walter Skinner
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"Don't say I never did nothing for ye..."
--Fox Mulder

"How does that grab ya?"
--Fox Mulder

"Come on Scully, get those little legs moving, come on."
--Fox Mulder
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Dana Scully: "What am I even looking for?"
Fox Mulder: "I don't know."

"Prison, Scully. Your cellmate's nickname is gonna be Large Marge. She's gonna read a lot of Gertrude Stein."
--Fox Mulder

"I just put money in the Magic Fingers."
--Dana Scully

"Who's the black private dick who's a sex machine with all the chicks? Shaft! Can you dig it? They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother--shut your mouth! Talking 'bout Shaft."
--Fox Mulder
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'Patient X'
"You tell them to kiss my American ass."
--Alex Krycek
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"A man with faith can indulge in the luxury of skepticism."
--Dr. Heintz Werber

Fox Mulder: "Do I look like I'm having fun, Scully?"
Dana Scully: "You look constipated actually."
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"You seem to have invalidated your own work. Have a nice life."
--Dana Scully

"One more anal-probing, gyro pyro, levitating ecoplasm, alien anti-matter story and I'm gonna take out my gun and shoot somebody."
--Fox Mulder

'The Red and the Black'
Alex Krycek: "You must be losing it Mulder. I can beat you with one hand."
Fox Mulder: "Isn't that how you like to beat yourself?"
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"If those are my last words, I can do better." --Fox Mulder

"What time is it? It's time to thank your lucky stars."
--Fox Mulder
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Dana Scully: "Why are you laughing?"
Fox Mulder: "I'm not laughing at you. I'm just very happy to be standing here talking to you, that's all."

'Travelers'

'Mind's Eye'

'All Souls'
"They say when you talk to God it's prayer, but when God talks to you it's schizophrenia."
--Fox Mulder
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"You got a bona-fide super-crazy religious wacko on your hands."
--Fox Mulder

'The Pine Bluff Variant'
Fox Mulder: "I have my beliefs." Bremer: "You willing to die for them?" Mulder: "I'd prefer it didn't come to that."

"I don't need a car. You can just call me a cab. That'll be fine."
--Fox Mulder

"If you don't hear from me by midnight, feed my fish."
--Fox Mulder

"You might want to put that hood back on unless you want to see a grown man cry."
--Fox Mulder

Dana Scully: "This needs to be set. You're in pain."
Fox Mulder: "Yeah, if you keep pulling it around like that..."

"Oooh, is this the Pepsi challenge?"
--Fox Mulder

'Folie à Deux'
"Scully, you have to believe me. Nobody else on this damn planet does or ever will. You're my one in five billion."
--Fox Mulder
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"Five years together, Scully. You must have seen this coming."
--Fox Mulder
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"Folie à deux. A madness shared by two."
--Dana Scully

'The End'
Fox Mulder: "What's wrong with Baywatch?"
Gibson Praise: "You've got a dirty mind."
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"I need to disappear for a while."
--Dana Scully

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