'The Beginning'
"Diana, back on your feet. Guess that's the only way you could stab me in the back."
--Fox Mulder

"You can kill a man, but you can't kill what he stands for...unless you first break his spirit. That's a beautiful thing to see."
--Cigarette Smoking Man
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"I didn't see Men in Black."
--Fox Mulder
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"Never underestimate the public's willingness to blame the Redman for anything they can't explain."
--Cigarette Smoking Man
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Dana Scully: "Mulder, I found something. I found something you're not gonna believe."
Fox Mulder: "Ditto."
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"Somebody broke a nail."
--Fox Mulder
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'Drive'
Fox Mulder (after hearing the expense report): "Why don't you bill me?"
Alvin Kersh: "I'll bill your partner instead. You two obviously relish the role of martyr."

"Now the sun will rise in America tomorrow regardless of whether or not we're at yet another farm investigating yet enormous pile of doo doo."
--Fox Mulder
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Dana Scully: "Sir, Agent Mulder has been through a lot."
Alvin Kersh: "And you apologize for him a lot. I've noticed that about you."

"I'm composing a sonnet. What does it look like I'm doing? I'm slowing down for a light!"
--Fox Mulder
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"Back to the bozo work, investigating huge piles of manure?"
--Fox Mulder
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"Big piles of manure."
--Dana Scully
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"That's Mr. Mulder to you, you peanut-picking bastard!"
--Fox Mulder
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Dana Scully: "Mulder, are you okay?"
Fox Mulder: "Yeah, aside from terminal cell phone withdrawal. That, and I have to pee. Where are you?"
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'Triangle'
Fox Mulder: "Hey, Scully."
Dana Scully: "Yes?"
Mulder: "I love you."
Scully: "Oh, brother..."
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Frohike: "What's he on?"
Langly: "I want some."
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"You did something incredibly stupid."
--Dana Scully

"Well, in case I never see you again..."
--Fox Mulder

"Listen to me, you little weasel!"
--Dana Scully (to Jeffrey Spender)

"I suggest you get your Nazi paws off me before you get one in the kisser."
--Dana Scully (1940s)

"God bless America. Now get your asses out of here."
--Walter Skinner (1940s)

"I was expecting a left."
--Fox Mulder

"Don't ask too many questions. I don't care what you do or who you do or who you have to grease. I need that information, and I need it now. Are we clear on that?"
--Dana Scully

"Get some rest, Mulder, because when you get out of here, I'm gonna kick your butt but good."
--Walter Skinner
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"I want you to do me a favor. It's not negotiable. Either you do it or I kill you. You understand?"
--Dana Scully

"If you ever ask me to break policy or protocol, I will have you written up, wrapped up, and tossed out of the FBI for good. Am I understood, Agent Scully?"
--Walter Skinner

Jeffrey Spender: "Are you okay, Agent Scully?"
Dana Scully: "No, I'm not. I'm a gun ready to go off, so don't test me, Spender, and don't even think about trying to weasel me."

'Dreamland I'
Morris Fletcher (as Mulder): "Are you out of your pretty little mind?"
Dana Scully: "Am I out of my mind? Mulder, you are out of your mind! What is up with you? I'm thinking about having you examined for a mental illness or-or drug use or...or maybe a massive head injury! This is an X-File. Your life's work. Your crusade."
Fletcher: "As I understand it, we're off the X-Files."
(Scully stomps off and slams door)
Fletcher: "Bitch."

"They have that pill now."
--Joanne Fletcher

Joanne Fletcher: "You don't ever want to make love to me ever again, that's all. That and you mumble something about Scully in your sleep. Who is Scully, Morris? Is it another woman?"
Fox Mulder (as Morris Fletcher): "Does Scully sound like a woman's name to you?"

Fox Mulder: "Of course you don't believe me. Why was I expecting anything different? All right, your full name is Dana Katherine Scully. Your badge number is--hell, I don't know your badge number! Your mother's name is Margaret. Your brother is Bill Junior. He's in the Navy, and he hates me. Lately for lunch you've been having this little six-ounce cup of yogurt--plain yogurt--into which you stir some bee pollen because you're on some kind of bee pollen kick even though I tell you you're a scientist and should know better."
Dana Scully: "Look, any of that information could have been gathered by anyone."
Mulder: "Even that yogurt thing? That is so you. That is so Scully. Well, it's good to know you haven't changed. That's somewhat comforting."

"I'm all atingle."
--Dana Scully
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'Dreamland II'
"The name's Frohike, you punk ass!"
--Frohike
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"Hey, Grandma Top Gun, will you shut the hell up?"
--Fox Mulder
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Fox Mulder: "Special Agent Dana Scully."
Joanne Fletcher: "Special Tramp Dana Scully!"

"If I shoot him, is that murder or suicide?"
--Fox Mulder
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"Baby me, and you'll be peeing through a catheter!"
--Dana Scully
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"I'd kiss you if you weren't so damn ugly."
--Dana Scully
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'The Ghosts that Stole Christmas'
Fox Mulder: "It's me or you. You or me. One of us has to do it."
Dana Scully: "Mulder, look. We don't have to do this."
Mulder: "Oh, yes, we do!"
Scully: "We can get out of here!"
Mulder: "Even if we could, what's waiting for us? More loneliness! And then 365 more shopping days until even more loneliness!"

"Paramasturbatory?"
--Fox Mulder
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"If I heard 'Silent Night' one more time, I was gonna start taking hostages!"
--Dana Scully
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Fox Mulder: "I know we said that we weren't going to exchange gifts, but, uh...I got ya a little something."
Dana Scully: "Mulder..."
Mulder: "Merry Christmas."
Scully: "Well, I got you a little something, too."

'Terms of Endearment'
"Hey, come on, you're making me feel weird."
--Wayne Weinsider
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'The Rain King'
"I do not gaze at Scully."
--Fox Mulder
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'S.R. 819'
"Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful."
--Fox Mulder

"You are so paranoid, Mulder."
--Walter Skinner

Dana Scully: "You've been our ally more times than I can say."
Walter Skinner: "Not the kind of ally I could have been."

"Every minute of every day we choose. Who we are. Who we forgive. Who we defend and protect. To choose a side or to walk the line. To play the middle. To straddle the fence between what is and what should be. This was the course I chose. Trying to find the delicate balance of interests that can never exist. Choosing by not choosing. Defending a center which cannot hold. So death chose for me."
--Walter Skinner

'Tithonus'
Fox Mulder: "Hey, Scully, maybe if we get really lucky next time they'll let us clean toilet bowls."
Dana Scully: "You ready to quit?"
Mulder: "No, that would make way too many people way too happy."

"(to Scully)Don't forget your toilet brush! (into phone) No, no, ma'am, not you."
--Fox Mulder

Peyton Ritter: "Hey, I'm confused. I thought we were trying to bust this guy, not look for reasons to let him go."
Dana Scully: "I thought we were looking for the truth."

"Hi, my name is Fox Mulder. We used to sit next to each other at the FBI."
--Fox Mulder
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Dana Scully: "Mulder, where are you getting this stuff?"
Fox Mulder: "Well, young man Ritter has been sending progress reports to Kersh. My computer may have inadvertently intercepted a few of those. He's got nice things to say about you, though...mostly. Why don't you let me do a little background check on Fellig for you?"
Scully: "Mulder--"
Mulder: "Come on, it's, you know, what I do now. I'm getting good at it."

Dana Scully: "You know, most people want to live forever."
Alfred Fellig: "Most people are idiots."

"Love lasts 75 years if you're lucky. You don't want to be around when it's gone."
--Alfred Fellig

"You're a lucky man."
--Fox Mulder (to Peyton Ritter)
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'Monday'
"Yeah, I know I'm not supposed to have a waterbed. Well, I don't know what to tell you. I--I think it was a gift!"
--Fox Mulder

Fox Mulder: "You ever have one of those days, Scully?"
Dana Scully: "Since I've been working here, yeah."

"When did you get a waterbed, Mulder?"
--Dana Scully

Fox Mulder: "I mean I woke up, I opened my eyes, I was soaking wet--it's a long story, but I had the distinct sensation that I had lived that moment before."
Dana Scully: "Well, you may have. Did you do a lot of drinking in college?"

"Don't you see? We're all in hell. I'm the only one who knows it."
--Pam

'Arcadia'
"Wanna make that honeymoon video now?"
--Fox Mulder
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"The thrill is gone."
--Fox Mulder

Dana Scully: "You ready?"
Fox Mulder: "Let's get it on, honey."
Scully: "All right then."

"Woman, get back in here and make me a sandwich."
--Fox Mulder
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"Admit it, you just want to play house."
--Fox Mulder

Fox Mulder: "Isn't that right, honeybunch?"
Dana Scully: "That's right, poopyhead."
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'Agua Mala'
"Don't all the nuts roll downhill to Florida."

"Don't sneer at the mysteries of the deep, young lady. The bottom of the ocean is as deep and dark as the imagination."
--Arthur Dales

Fox Mulder: "If the sea is where life began, where our ancestors first walked ashore, then who's to say what new life may be developing in its uncharted depths?"
Dana Scully: "You know what, maybe you are a member of the Manson family."

Fox Mulder: "You know, Scully, someday we're gonna look back on this and we're gonna laugh. And we'll just think of it as, you know, man pitted against the forces of nature. Think of it as a test of our mettle."
Dana Scully: "I don't need my mettle tested."

"I've heard of passing the time...ouch."
--Fox Mulder (upon finding a watch in a toilet)

Angela Villareal: "Now who are you?"
Thief: "Nobody."
Angela: "Nobody? Oh, well, it is so nice to be surrounded by so many great men."

"It takes a big man to admit this, but...if I had had someone as savvy as her by my side all those years ago in the X-Files, I might not have retired."
--Arthur Dales

'Alpha'

'Trevor'
"Mulder, shut up!"
--Dana Scully

Dana Scully: "Should we arrest David Copperfield?"
Fox Mulder: "Yes, we should--but not for this."

Dana Scully: "Spontaneous human combustion."
Fox Mulder: "Scully!"
Scully: "Well, isn't that where you're going with this?"
Mulder: "Dear Diary--Today my heart leapt when Agent Scully suggested spontaneous human combustion."

'Milagro'
"The crime is only as perfect as the man and the mind that commits it."
--Dana Scully

Fox Mulder: "We've got a third victim--a 16-year-old kid out on Lover's Lane."
Dana Scully: "Are you sure?"
Mulder: "Yeah. I'm sure many a person has had their heart broken out here, but not like this."

"Imprecision would only invite sexist criticism that she was soft, malleable, not up to her male counterparts. Even now, as she pushed an errant strand of titian hair being her ear, she worried her partner would know instinctively what she could only guess. To be thought of as a beautiful woman was bridling, unthinkable. But she was beautiful--fatally, stunningly prepossessing. Yet the conpensatory respect she commanded only deepened the yearnings of her heart--to let it open, to let someone in."
--Phillip Padgett

"Hey, you weren't joking about being late. I was about to start slicing and dicing myself."
--Fox Mulder

Dana Scully: "You don't have any furniture."
Phillip Padgett: "I have what I need. I write at my desk, I sleep in my bed."
Scully: "You don't eat?"
Padgett: "I live in my head."

"Loneliness is a choice."
--Dana Scully

Phillip Padgett: "Agent Mulder, my book. Did you like it?"
Fox Mulder: "Maybe if it were fiction."

Dana Scully: "What does he say?"
Fox Mulder: "Well, let's just say it ends with you doing the naked pretzel with 'the stranger' on a bed in an unfurnished fourth floor apartment."

"I misjudged her character, her interest in me... She's only trying to get his attention and doesn't know it... I wanted to love her."
--Phillip Padgett (about Dana Scully)

"A story can have only one true ending. Even as the stranger felt compelled to commit his finals words to paper, he did it knowing they must never be read. To see the sum of his work was to see inside his own emptiness--the heart of a destroyer, not a creator--and yet reflected back upon him, at last he could see his own ending. And in this final act of destruction, a chance to give what he could not receive."
--Phillip Padgett

'The Unnatural'
"Shut up, Mulder...I'm playing baseball."
--Dana Scully

'Three of a Kind'

'Field Trip'
Dana Scully: "UFOs. Extraterrestrial visitors from beyond who apparently have nothing better to do than buzz one mountain over and over again for 700 years."
Fox Mulder: "It sounds like crap when you say it."

"I abducted him. It's a gray."
--Fox Mulder

Fox Mulder: "The aliens brought me here."
Dana Scully: "From North Carolina direct to your apartment door?"

"A giant mushroom?"
--Dana Scully

"Mulder, what if we're being digested? Right now?"
--Dana Scully

"It's a rare day when the two of you sign off on the same report."
--Walter Skinner

'Biogenesis'

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