Q Why do Indian women wear red dots on their foreheads.
A Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by aiming at their wives red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives see once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target.....
Q You are from India? I have read so much about the country and all the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, and the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation?
A Absolutely. In fact, we used to have our own elephant in our house. But later, we started participating in elephant ride sharing schemes with our neighbours to save the air. You see the elephants have an emission problem.
Q Does India have T.V.
A No. We only have cable.
Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.
Q. What did the bumper say?
A. Cover me. I am changing lanes.
Pages from an MCP's diary:
Q How many male chauvinist does it take to change a light bulb.
A None. Let the bitch do the dish in the dark.
Q Why do men fart more then women.
A Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Q What is a widow.
A. A woman who has lived for so long, that her husband has died from it.
Q: Why do Sardars always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
Q: Why do sardars have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: How can you tell when a sardar sends you a fax?
A: It has a stamp on it.
Q: Why can't sardars dial 911?
A: They can not find the eleven on the phone.
Q: How do you get a sardar on the roof?
A: Tell him the drinks are on the house.
Q: What do smart sardars and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but you never see them.
Q: Why does it take longer to build a sardar snowman as opposed to a regular
one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.
Q: How do you measure a surd's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear!
Q: How do you keep a Surd busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.
Q: A surd going to London on a plane, how can you steal his window seat?
A: Tell him the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN A SURD THROWS A PIN AT YOU?
A: Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
Q: How do you make a surd laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
Q: What is the surd doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the surd stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q: Why do surds work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
Q: What did the surd do when he noticed that someone had already written on
the
overhead transparency?
A: He turned it over and used the other side.
Q: Why did god give surds 2% more brains than horses?
A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.
Q: How do you confuse a surd?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: How do you keep a surd in suspense?
A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)
Q: How do you keep a surd busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: Why can't surds make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: How did the surd try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
A: Because below 18 was not allowed !!!
Q: What's the difference between a surd and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: Why do men like surd jokes??
A: Because they can understand them.
Q: What does a surd say when you ask his if his blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
Q: What do you get when U offer a surd a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: What do you call 10 surds standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you call a surd in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
Q: What do you call a surd with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: What do you call a surd in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.
Q: What do you see when you look into a surd's eyes?
A: The back of his head.
Q: What do a surd and your computer have in common? A: You don't know how
much either of them means to you until they go down on you.
Q: What do you do when a surd throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: Why did the surd take his typewriter to the doctor ??
A: He thought it was pregnant because missed a period.
Q: Why are surds hurt by people's words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: Why can't surds put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q: What's the difference between a Surd and a Supermarket Trolley?
A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
Q: A surd ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or
twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A surd parade.
Q: Guy asked his surd wife "how did you get the car in the living room"?
A: She said "I drove it through the kitchen and took a left."
Q: SOMEONE ASKED IF A SURD BELEIVED IN SMOKING.
A: He said "Yes, I've seen it done."
Q: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
A: Sardar: "No, who wrote it?"
SURD: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
SURD: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have
been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
Two surds observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their
Mercedes with a
coat hanger:
Surd#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Surd#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and
the top is down!
Did you hear about the surd that stayed up all night to see where the sun
went?
It finally dawned on him.
Restrooms!!
A surd was driving down the highway to Disneyland when he saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, he said to himself "oh well !" and turned around and drove home. On his way home the same surd drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time he drove eight miles, he had cleaned 43 restrooms.
Q: How do you get holy water?
A: You boil the hell out of it.
Q: What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
A: Damn!
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A: A stick.
Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A: Right where you left him.
Q: Why do Gorillas have big nostrils?
A: because they have big fingers.
