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| Background Host: Welcome back to Backstage at The Divas Live Concert. The divas are back, and we have just started our intermission. And now … we present, once again: Celine … Gloria … Aretha … Shania … Mariah … and our special guest for the year, Carole King. And now, back to the show… (Mariah is sitting on the couch with a journalist, finishing up an interview) Journalist: Miss Carey, you will be receiving a grand pay from this concert. Is there anything in particular you would be willing to spend it on in order to help those who are less fortunate? Mariah: Well, I really want to help the starving kids in Africa. I feel so bad for them. I mean, I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those diseases and stuff. Journalist: (Arches an eyebrow) Well, thank you for your time, Miss Carey. I’ll be sure to notify when the article is published. Mariah: Thank you so much for the interview; I really looked forward to it. Journalist: Have a great evening, Miss Carey. Mariah: I most definitely will. <Mariah shows journalist the way out> Mariah: Stupid journalist. <Shania, Aretha, and Gloria rush in> Shania: Mariah, what’re we gonna do?! Aretha: Plan A and Plan B failed! We gotta think of a Plan C! Mariah: Well, looks like talking her down didn’t work … locking her up definitely didn’t work … come on, let’s just face it – it’s hopeless. Aretha: What about those grammies? Do ya still wanna win, or is that hopeless too? Gloria: Have you lost faith? Mariah: She stole the show from us! You saw how that crowd cheered when she approached the stage! I thought that was horrid enough, but OH no! When My Heart Will Go On played, the crowd cheered so loud, it nearly put Beatlemania to shame! Shania: Then steal it back! Mariah: What do you mean? Shania: What do ya think I mean? We gotta steal th’ show from HER! Aretha: How we gonna do that? <The divas stand there and think about it> Gloria: Where is she, anyway? Aretha: She’s rehearsing a duet with Carole King. Mariah: That’s it! That’s how we’ll steal the show! Gloria: By rehearsing a duet with Carole King? Mariah: Yes! We’ll sort of “steal her” from Celine! We’ll talk Carole into performing duets with US instead of Celine. Think about it – Carole is our idol, our inspiration. She’s the greatest of the great! Celine is nothing without her! The fans will cheer for US because we’ve got Carole! Shania: And no one will cheer fer Celine, ‘cause she’s a loner! It’s perfect! We’ll be known as th’ stars of th’ show, and th’ grammies will love us! Gloria: Finally! An answer to our prayers! Shania: Where’s Carole? Aretha: She just got here. I think she’s still rehearsing that duet with Celine. Mariah: (Opens door) No, she’s coming back right now! Shania: Quick! Whatta we do?! Mariah: We stay calm and act naturally. (Everyone paces around the room nervously) <Door opens> Everyone: CAROLE! How are you? Celine: It’s just me! (Everyone groans) Celine: I left my breath mints in my purse. Carole needs one – BAD. (Digs through purse) Mariah: (Steps up) By the way, I just talked to Carole – she hates you. (Celine ignores her) Mariah: (Whispers) Oh my gosh, I think it’s working! (The divas shriek in the background; Celine rolls her eyes) <Carole enters the room> Gloria: Mi Dios, it’s Carole! (Everyone rushes up to Carole, shoving Celine out of the way) The Divas: Wow, it’s such an honor! Celine: (To Carole) I’ll be in the bathroom, incase you need me. By the way, I got you this. (Hands over a breath mint) Carole: Oh, thanks. (Pops it) <Celine walks off> The Divas: We can help you win the Grammies! Carole: What do you mean? Shania: All ya gotta do is sing with us … and the Grammies are yers. Carole: Isn’t that why I’m here in the first place? Aretha: Not really. You’re here to sing a duet with Celine. But we’re askin’ if ya can sing with US. Carole: Why, what does Celine have to do with it? Gloria: Celine is ALWAYS getting in the way! If we don’t stop her now, we may never win the Grammies! Carole: So you’re saying, that by NOT singing with Celine, I can win the Grammies? Aretha: Word. Carole: I still don’t get it. No deal. Shania: Wait a minute – whatever yer pay is … we can triple it! Mariah: (Mutters) YOU can triple it! Carole: No. Mariah: What if we bought you a nice gift? Carole: No. Aretha: A joint? Carole: NO! Mariah: COME ON! There’s got to be SOMETHING we can offer! Carole: Look – It’s nothing personal, really. I just don’t want to be stuck in the middle, all right? I didn’t come here to compete; I came here to have a good time! So stop asking me! <Carole walks off to the other side of the room> Aretha: Mariah, Whatta we do?! Mariah: I don’t know! I’m out of ideas! Aretha: Well, think of somethin’ quick! We only have ten minutes ‘til the second half starts! Mariah: All right, all right … I’ve got an idea. Remember when I told Celine that Carole hated her? Remember how good it worked? Maybe we should try that again. Gloria: Si, but Carole said that she “came here to have a good time”, remember? Whatever we do, it has to be something good. Shania: That gives me a better idea: How ‘bout we act like we’re enjoyin’ ourselves whenever we see her. THAT way, when she sees what a “good time” we’re havin’, she’ll wanna join us! Mariah: Good thinking! <Carole walks back over> Mariah: Okay, here she comes! (The divas engage in a fake conversation, acting nauseatingly cute. Carole slumps down on the couch and reads a magazine) (Carole looks back up at the divas and pretends not to listen. After a few seconds, she can’t resist) Carole: (Walks up) All right, I’ll sing a couple songs with you guys – ALL you guys. Shania: I knew ya would! Now, what do we sing? We’ll let you pick. Carole: Well, I was hoping to sing— Aretha: How ‘bout Natural Woman? (The divas agree; Carole frowns) Carole: All right, but we’re all going to sing it together. We’ll take turns singing each line, but we’ll all pitch in during the chorus. That way, everyone will get a fair share of the singing. The Divas: (Bummed out) Fine. Carole: I’ll start. (Clears throat; Sings) Looking out on the morning rain… (Carole and the divas beautifully weave their voices together … until suddenly, Celine pops in halfway during the song and crashes the party) The Divas: (Singing together) ‘Cause you make me feel— Celine: (Tries finishing chorus, but wails it out) LIKE NATURA-A-AL WOMAN!!! (Everyone shields their ears) (ANOTHER WINDOW SHATTERS) Mariah: GAH! You do this everytime! Celine: What? All I did was sing. Shania: We were SO close, too! Carole: So close to what? Gloria: To stealing back the show! Everyone: (Gasps) GLORIA! Carole: WHAT?! You were using me to steal the show?! (An uncomfortable silence fills the room) Mariah: We’re … sorry? Carole: You said this would help us win the Grammies! But what you really wanted was to use me for your own self-gain! Shania: I can explain— Carole: And I take that as an insult! I made myself clear when I said I didn’t want to compete – and you just ignored me! You can forget about those songs! And forget about “winning the Grammies” while you’re at it! <Carole storms out> Aretha: Ouch. Shania: This is all yer stupid fault, Celine! Celine: Vraiment? Serves you right for locking me up and “saving yourselves from the humiliation of singing with me!” <Celine walks off to the other side of the room> Aretha: Ouch again! Shania: Well THAT really bit the dust. Mariah: Come on, what are we going to do now? We can’t be out of ideas yet! (Nobody says a word) Mariah: Well? Anybody? (The room grows uncomfortably silent again) Gloria: Mariah … I don’t think we really have a choice anymore. Shania: We have to join them. For the sake of the show AND the Grammies. We have to. Mariah: Aretha? What about you? Aretha: I think we should, too. Sorry, Mariah. Mariah: (Sighs) Yeah, you’re probably right. <Mariah walks up to Celine> Mariah: Celine … we have a confession to make. Celine: What is it? Mariah: (Sighs) You’re not the worst singer in the world. Celine: Prove it. Mariah: Well … would you like to warm up for the show by singing with me? Celine: But we're going to sing together in five minutes! Mariah: I know. You can shatter all the windows you like. Celine: Oh… (Hugs Mariah) That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. (The divas hug eachother and bawl their eyes out) <Carole walks back in> Carole: Good for you! Aretha: You could hear everything? Carole: Yeah. And you know what the best part is? This is exactly what I came here for – to have a good time. Mariah: Hey, wait a second … (Points) what is that little red light over there? (Everyone rushes up to the camera) Gloria: It’s a camera! And it's ON! (The Divas look at eachother in horror) Gloria: WE’RE BEING TAPED! Everyone: AAAHH!!! Mariah: I’ll teach those perverts a lesson! (Mariah sprays the camera with pepper spray) Shania: Mariah, cameras don’t have eyes! (Shania takes out the camera and disconnects it) (STATIC) Background Host: Ladies and gentlemen, we seem to be having some technical difficulties right now. But that’s about all the time we have for our show, anyway. Thanks for tuning in, and don't have an ego! Goodnight, everyone! (CREDITS ROLL BY) |
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| GO READ PART ONE FIRST! |