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All my life I have been learning and studying new things. Though I was shy as a child, I was interested in different hobbies. Music and folk dance were my favorite hobbies until I was 28 years old. |
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I sang in the chorus during my school life. After graduating from school, I started to work in the Navy Department and for a short while l didn’t pursue my hobbies. Then once again, I looked for a chorus to sing with, one that was close to my neighborhood. I found a nice chorus, who were singing Classical Turkish music. |
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Classical Turkish music comes from the court of the Ottoman Sultans; this music is an offspring of the Arabic and Persian traditions. It is not written down in scores, only the maquam; this is similar to the pattern of the major- minor scale system, and it is marked down improvisation; it is a traditional variation technique, featuring the form with which I was familiar. I listened to this music and knew it well. However, l needed more knowledge. The majority of people in the chorus were middle - aged women; I was the youngest. Our chorus director was a strict teacher; there were some rules. He would not accept mistakes, as he seemed to yell at everyone for everything. I was not happy. And I was not comfortable about this situation. Singing that music with different maquams was difficult. After tiring work, I was disgusted and knew I needed to relax and enjoy myself. |
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We were learning some works of classical Turkish music and their composers. Three musicians were playing violin, lute and drum in the class. We started to practice some songs. I began getting nervous because of my teacher. One day, while we were practicing, he wanted us to sing one by one. Oh, my God! What would I do? Would I sing without any mistake? It was difficult to sing solo. One of my friends started to sing. She made mistakes, and the director yelled at her. I was shaking in my boots. I was sure that he would yell at me if I sang poorly. My mind was racing with thoughts, with fear. |
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At the end, he wanted me to sing that song. I tried to encourage myself to relax and sing comfortably. I attempted to sing. However, it was an awful moment I lost my voice. No voice. I was shocked. I felt sorry for myself: poor me, poor Gunsel! I asked myself, what happened to you? Why were you scared? |
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I had joined this chorus to enjoy myself, but now I was upset I asked myself, why you are so shy? Thousands more questions were in my mind. In short, the teacher had frightened me out of my wits. After a few seconds, fortunately, my voice came back. I tried to sing the best l could. I think you can imagine how I felt. I felt I had failed. After all this excitement, l felt exhausted. I promised this would never happen again. |
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Soon, however, our Chief realized that he had treated us badly. He became more patient and gentle. As a result, we were more comfortable and successful in singing. Later, I stopped the chorus and to move on to other hobbies. But I learned lessons other than singing from this experience. |
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In my life, l realized that in teaching or managing, or even being a parent, one should not be a dictator. I realized the important of choices and independence for the individual. In addition, I learned that if we choose to be kind, friendly, and a little soft – to win everyone’s heart- and then add to this some toughness, these qualities together produce a healthy environment. |
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