Chapter 392
In an auditorium, the big crushers stood on stage playing through the instrumental introduction to the song. They kept going keeping a steady beat and trying to letting themselves get into it. Forty five seconds passed. They built up the melody.
` "Potted plants!" the three shouted.
"They sit there, just waiting for your love, and you give it to them! And what do they do! They just sit there!" Rick said.
"Yeah!"Mike and Steve said.
"So you gotta remember that! Come on don't be a potted plant tonight!"
"Potted plants!" the three sang. "Waiting for your love! But they can't give it back!"
"How did they ever go platinum," Yaten muttered.
"Indeed this is a bit disturbing," Taiki said. "I didn't know it was this bad."
"It gets worse," Seiya said.
"So Potted plant...don't you come back here..my windowsill is not for you," Rick sang.
"Yeah! See you got a problem potted plant, you wanna fight? No you don't you're just a stinking potted plant, well I'm ready for you you cowardly potted plant, I want a piece of you, you can't get away, I see you!" Mike shouted.
"Yeah potted plant, don't think that just because your a plant..and a potted one too.that I'm not going to come over there..you can't hide!" Steve said.
"Potted plant!" the three shouted.
"Oh geez...not this," Mina said walking in.
"They can't play this," Raye said.
"Apparently their dead set on it," Seiya said.
"Come on you rotting potted plant, you'll get no water from me!" Rick shouted.
"Yeah! Go back to the nutrients you came from, dirt is too good for you!" Mike shouted.
"That fertilizer I bought, you aren't getting any..you potted plant I'm onto you!" Steve shouted.
"Guys will you stop that stupid song!" Raye shouted.
"Whoops,..what.." Rick said.
"You're going to sing something else.." Raye said.
"But that was one of our greatest hits," Rick said.
"I don't care," Raye said. "Find something better.."
"If such a thing is possible?" Mina said.
The three stuck their tongues out.
"Jeez..arguing already," Lita said. "That didn't take long."
"Yeah, well.." Rick said. "All right fine, we'll play a different song, but it'll take us some time to figure out which one."
"We'll just practice the other songs then," Raye said.
"Fine," Rick said.
"Oh don't get all like that," Raye said.
"Why shouldn't I? My creative genius has been questioned," Rick said.
"How can I question something that isn't there?"
Rick grimaced.
"Now that we know Evil Man is Andrew we can easily track him down. His sister probably knows where he is," Serena said.
"Not necessarily," Haruka said. "After all if he's living in seclusion."
"Still she would have noticed he wasn't around," Serena said.
"Then wouldn't she have looked for him or called the police," Michiru said.
"Not necessarily, Andrew can be quite busy, sometimes they don't see each other for days," Serena said. "He's working several jobs trying to get enough money to go to med school."
"Noble goal," Haruka said.
"Let's hope we can find him before anything else gets out of hand," Michiru said.
They walked up to the door to the "Tillman's" apartment house.
Serena knocked. No answer.
"Hmm..she doesn't have work now I'm pretty sure,"Serena said.
"Well it's always possible she's not around," Haruka said.
"Yeah I guess," Serena said.
She knocked again.
"Hey..Lizzie you there," She said.
The door opened.
"Ah..here we go," Serena said.
"SERENA!" Haruka said and pulled her to the ground. A figure blasted by her. The three whirled.
"Who dares disturb the rest of the world's most dangerous vegetarian vampire!" came a shout.
"Lizzie," Serena said in shock.
Sure enough Lizzie Tillman was standing there, scantily clad...and dressed in black. A pair of fangs sat in her mouth.
"Those can't be real," Michiru said. "No one else has mutated."
"Hmm..that's what you think!" Lizzie shouted leaping at them
The three dodged out of the way.
"Serena you get help! We'll hold her off!" Haruka shouted.
"Right," Serena said and hurried down the street.
"Hello dear," came a voice. Serena skidded to a stop. Evil Man stood there.
"Evil Man!" She screeched and raced back the other way.
"Ah...the hunt!" Evil Man said and raced after her spitting energy.
She dashed back by the apartment complex.
"Serena's in trouble too," Michiru said and avoided a flying Lizzie to race
after Evil Man.
"I really hate this!" Serena said and raced around a corner. Evil Man dropped in front of her.
"Yah!" he said and shot a blast of energy at her. She stumbled around it and tackled him.
"You jerk!" She said and began to slap him.
He grabbed her. Energy shot through her.
She screeched. Evil Man laughed.
"No time to transform," Michiru said to herself and shot forward. She grabbed Evil Man and pulled Serena fell from his grasp. Evil Man pulled himself away and leapt at her. Michiru barely dodged the attack and leapt onto a wall. Evil Man followed. Michiru dropped kicked him.
Serena groggily stood up.
Michiru dropped to the sidewalk and faced off against the foe. Serena pulled
herself down the street looking for a place to hide.
Haruka was knocked to the ground. She was in good shape and could fight pretty well in human form, but Lizzie was could fly, and Haruka couldn't match her speed. She hurried down the street hoping to keep Lizzie busy and find some way to fight back.
"Oh come on, I want to suck your blood!" Lizzie shouted.
"Thought you were a vegetarian," Haruka said getting clipped on the shoulder.
"I don't eat animals, but I can suck all the blood out of you I want!"
"You're a complex person I can see that!" Haruka said whirling and throwing a punch. Lizzie slammed into it, and pushed her to the ground.
Lizzie floated up and formed a ball of energy in her hand.
"Oh..great..she's going Dragon Ball Z on me," Haruka muttered and waited to the last second to avoid the attack. Lizzie dived towards her shooting energy. Haruka narrowly missed being hit but was crashed into and thrown into the street. A car skidded away from her and smashed into another...Haruka rolled out of the way hoping the drivers were all right.
Lizzie blasted her.
She stumbled back wincing.
Michiru was not doing well either. Evil Man was surprising powerful and at the moment kicking the stuffing out of her. She was resilient, but not resilient enough to take this for much longer, and offense was almost out of the question.
"Hold it right there!" came a shout. Evil Man whirled.
"To protect the world from devastation..no that's completely wrong!" Sailor Moon shouted. "You know what I mean! Jerk! Prepare for battle!"
She held her Moon Sword menacingly.
"Ah..I see.." Evil Man said. "I have a cutlass myself."
He seemed to draw a sword out of nowhere.
"You can hide things in dimensional sub space too?" Sailor Moon asked.
"Nah..actually it was just hanging on my wall, I have an interspatial tunnel to my room. Check this out.." Evil Man said and stuck his hand into apparent nothingness. He pulled out a box of oat bran.
"See.."
"You eat Oat Bran?" Sailor Moon asked in surprise.
"Apparently I do," Evil Man said. "Let's see what else we've got in there."
Sailor Moon sighed but was perfectly willing to let Evil Man continue considering that Michiru now had time to get away.
"Ah..here we go.." Evil Man said. He held a colorful painting up.
"That's nice," Sailor Moon said. "Why don't you put that off to the side so it doesn't get damaged huh?"
"All right," Evil Man said and put it back. "Oh..you'll like this..a commorative plate, it's value has gone up...over time."
"It's of Speed Racer! Who would want that!" Sailor Moon snapped.
"Mach go go Sailor Moon! Speed Racer is merely the name those crazy Americans gave to it," Evil Man said. "Them and their crazy American ways.."
"Uh..right.." Sailor Moon said. "Anything else?"
"Ah..take a look at this. It's a horsey!" he said holding up a toy.
"And what are you doing with that?"
"Throwing it at you!"
He tossed the toy. Sailor Moon sidestepped it but Evil Man shot forward. Sailor Moon dived out of the way as she usually did.
"ACH! I'll get you this time!" Evil Man said swinging his cutlass. Sailor Moon dodged it and swung her own Moon Sword. The two met.
"So how skilled are you with the rapier!" Evil Man said.
"What..you're a rapist too!" Sailor Moon shouted and screeched.
"No, how could you suggest that. Rape is a crime!" Evil Man said swinging the sword menacingly.
"AND THIS ISN'T!" Sailor Moon said diving out of the way.
"You really stink at fighting you know," Evil Man said.
"Hey!" Sailor Moon said and kneed him in the groin.
Evil Man staggered back.
"AHH!"
He then stopped.
"Just kidding..." Evil Man said. "I was quite prepared for that."
"Eep,"Sailor Moon said.
"Hah! You've been rendered helpless!" Evil Man shouted.
"That's not true!" Sailor Moon said and raced forward with Jupiter's aura. She threw a punch. Evil Man blocked it. Sailor Moon tried again. Evil Man punched her. She fell to the ground. He swung his sword. She rolled out of the way. Mars Aura took over. She threw a kick. Evil Man grabbed her in mid air and flung her into a wall.
"HAH!"
"Neptune Deep Submerge!"
"Not today!" Evil Man said and vanished.
"Sailor Moon are you all right?" Neptune said.
"Check on Uranus first.." Sailor Moon muttered.
Neptune nodded and raced down the street.
"Ouch.." Sailor Moon said. "They aren't supposed to be this hard. Wait..a second..maybe he isn't teleporting..."
She staggered up..only to slip slightly.
"Ouch.." she said and began to limp.
Haruka was hit head on with an energy barrage. She crashed into the ground with a grunt.
Sailor Neptune rushed forwards and tackled Lizzie. The vampire screeched and shot energy from her eyes. Sailor Neptune rolled out of the way. Lizzie leapt up. Sailor Neptune faced her down.
"So you wanna go one on one with the great one ey?" Lizzie said.
"Neptune Deep Submerge!"
Lizzie leapt over the attack and charged at her. Neptune leapt over the attack and spun. Lizzie turned in mid air and flew at her. Neptune drew her mirror and fired. Lizzie dodged it and glided in.
Neptune easily moved out of the way and continued to shoot. Lizzie grinned and formed a ball of energy in her hands. She swung around and unleashed it right at the wounded Haruka.
"Oh no!" Neptune shouted and leapt in front of it.
Her instantaneous Deep Submerge Attack. Barely left her hands before the energy hit it and impacted. Neptune was thrown backward.
Lizzie grinned and built up another energy attack.
"Time to finish you off for good."
"Not likely!" came several shouts. Maverick, Guardian Saturn, and Sailor Saturn dropped to the ground.
Lizzie grinned.
"I can't say I'm glad to see you..but I like a good fight. Let's go!"
She dived at them energy flying from her hands. The scouts leapt into action.
"All right...let's go," Rick said.
The big crushers started up.
"I hope they chose a better song this time," Raye said.
"Do they have a better song?" Yaten asked.
The instrumental lead in finished with a high rock beat.
"Speeding down the highway doing 95!" Rick shouted.
The rock beat kept going.
"Racing down the road, getting chased by the cops, don't know why, doing 95!"
"Well it could be worse," Mina said.
"Not much worse," Raye said.
"Hey..it's not that bad," Lita said.
"Look out for the yellow line, because it ain't fine! You gotta hit those apples with a stick, because they're too high to pick! Go get em! Doing 95 in a 95 zone!"
"There's no such thing as a 95 zone," Taiki said.
"Apparently in their world there is," Yaten said.
"95!" the three shouted.
"Racing like a vulture drinking proto culture, everything's going sky high, I'm not gonna die! Going 95....in a 95 zone!" Rick shouted.
"Rock out," Steve boomed.
A solo emerged for another minute.
"Goin 95! Yeah! Get it going! Ninety five!"
The chorus continued.
"Because I love you!" Rick finished.
The song stopped.
"Now wait a second!" Raye shouted walking up to him "How exactly do you fit love into this at all. You spend four minutes on this train wreck, not mentioning anything related to love, and then..you decide to throw the last line at us!"
"Uh..well.." Rick said.
"Hey..that's what makes it edgy," Mike said.
Raye growled.
"Pick another one!" Mina shouted.
The Big Crushers sighed.
"This shouldn't be this hard!" Maverick shouted firing a sword barrage. Lizzie the flying vampire glided away from it.
"This may require some drastic measures," Sailor Saturn said firing her scythe. Lizzie dodged it and fired back.
Guardian Saturn leapt onto a wall and fired. Lizzie slid under the attack.
"Too fast!" she shouted firing an energy ball. Sailor Saturn leapt out of the way.
"There are three of us, we need a plan here," Maverick said. Lizzie whirled toward her. She leapt forward. The two collided and crashed to the ground.
"Or this works too," Maverick and jabbed her sword in. Lizzie grabbed her. The two began to shoot each other with energy at point blank range.
Guardian Saturn hurried forward his sword at the ready and stabbed Lizzie. She screeched and blasted back. There was an impact throwing them back.
"Saturn Mist Wave!" Saturn shouted at point blank range. Lizzie was knocked down the street.
"So much for you," Saturn said.
"Look out!" Sailor Moon shouted. Saturn whirled. Evil Man slammed into her.
"I have returned!" Evil Man shouted and blasted her with energy. Guardian Saturn and Maverick charged forward shooting energy.
"HAH!" Evil Man said and leapt into the air. The two leapt too. They missed.
"Be careful," Sailor Moon said weakly.
The two faced off.
Sailor Neptune wearily stood as well.
"Come on, you wish to fight Evil Man? Don't be silly, you won't survive!"
"Saturn Ice Rings Blast!"
"Neptune Deep Submerge!"
The two attacks shot down the street. Evil Man leapt over them.
Maverick opened fire. Evil Man swatted the attacks away.
"I have become even stronger then before!" he shouted. "I am a god."
"What is going on with him?" Maverick asked.
"Nothing we can't handle!" Guardian Moon said and leapt forward.
"Hah...so..you want some of Evil Man!"
The two sparred. Guardian Moon shot forward.
"Nah.." Evil Man said and dived out of the way. A rain of energy shot down the street. Guardian Moon avoided it.
"It's hammer time!" Guardian Earth shouted attacking. Evil Man dived out of the way.
"Never say that again!" Guardian Moon shouted.
"EARTH Overwhelming Essence!" Sailor Earth shouted. Evil Man slid backwards.
"Just what is this guy doing to keep avoiding all of our attacks, he can't be that powerful!" Maverick said.
"Fear my true strength!" Evil Man said. He was surrounded by a cylinder of crackling colored energy.
"I think that's bad," Guardian Earth said.
"Saturn Blade of Galaxies!"
"Saturn Dimensional Revolution!"
The two attacks flew out at the energy and crackled against it.
"Not enough," Sailor Saturn said.
The three new scouts unleashed their attacks.
"Now that's quite enough!" Evil Man shouted and leapt forward. The cylinder of energy disappeared and surrounded him with a glow. He shot by all of them with incredible speed.
"What was that!" Guardian Moon shouted.
"Incredible power," Sailor Earth said.
Guardian Moon growled. Evil Man disappeared into the streets.
"Gmerc, you get all of that, are you following him?" Maverick asked.
"Yeah..right..he's emitting so much energy, my cameras can't handle it," Lisa replied. "They're not going to be of use."
"Oh..wonderful," Maverick said.
"I don't understand..where is all this power coming from.." Sailor Moon said. "I mean this is just because of that meteor right?"
"It should be,"Guardian Moon said. "But he's like nothing we've seen, and I can't even get a good reading."
"He is blocking telepathic attempts too," Sailor Earth said.
"So what is he invincible?" Guardian Earth muttered.
"No one's invincible," Maverick said.
"Haruka you all right?" Sailor Neptune asked.
"Sure.." Haruka said. "Ouch...he can hit."
"I know," Sailor Neptune said.
"What a jerk." Haruka said.
Sailor Neptune smiled.
"Someone should heal Lizzie before things get worse," Sailor Moon said.
"Wait.." Guardian Moon said. "Maybe we can learn something..if we heal her now.."
"But how do we keep her from going nuts?" Guardian Earth asked.
"I have no idea, we've never tried to capture an enemy before," Guardian Moon said.
"My tiara can do it," Sailor Moon said.
"All your tiara's can," Haruka said.
"She's right.." Sailor Neptune said. "They possess a power that can hold back evil provided their weakened like that."
"Then let's do this thing," Guardian Earth said.
"All right..let's try this again," Rick said.
"Please proceed," Taiki said.
"Start it up!" Rick said.
The three started playing.
"Seems harmless enough," Lita said.
"It always does," Mina said.
"No one likes to hear us sing, but that's okay, because we don't like it either," Rick said.
"Yeah!" Mike and Steve shouted.
"We've got problems, we know it. We like to hit people with slices of bread! Here's some now! Watch out! It's coming to get you!"
"Watch out!"
"Hey..yeah..why do we even bother with lyrics? Because it makes us edgy! Hah hah! Edginess is the future, until everyone finds out it isn't! Hah hah! The fools!"
"Fools!"
"So let's just jam!"
The song moved into all instrumentals for another two minutes.
"Hi, I'm Mike, this is my first time at a concert, you all look like a good group and I hope I can get some help here for my problem. You see I realized that I'm an addict...to mustard. I just can't stop it, and that's bad, because it gives me indigestion. I can't have a social life, because I'm so cramped up. I mean Mustard controlled me. It ruined my life, but I can beat it,"Mike said.
The song kept going.
"I play bass guitar with this band for some reason, I'm waiting for another job to come along like bassist with another band.." Steve said. "Actually the real problem is I don't know how to play the bass...and they took me in as a public service, or maybe not..."
The song passed the five minute mark.
"So remember, not to take candy from strangers who don't look both ways and run and tell an adult if you see something that isn't right like a sewer drain that is clogged, because that's just disgusting. So eat your wheaties, take your vitamins, and above all else...." Rick said and paused.
"Fill in awkward silences with talking amongst yourselves!" the three shouted.
The song ended.
"That'll do," Raye said.
"Yeah, I like it especially when you didn't say anything," Mina said.
"I guess it'll have to do," Seiya said.
"Actually I think I understand," Yaten said. "You are out to mock the
establishment using extreme measures."
"Wake up Lizzie.." Sailor Moon said.
"Ehh..what.." She said and strained against the tiaras holding her to a wall. "Lemme go!"
"Where are you getting all that energy?" Sailor Moon asked.
"You won't get to me to talk!" Lizzie shouted. "I'm no stoolie!"
"Guess you're looking at a long prison term then," Guardian Earth said. Everyone glared at him. He smiled.
"I ain't talking, no one rats out the boss," Lizzie said.
"You mean Evil Man?" Guardian Moon asked.
"No the real boss," Lizzie said. "Oops...you'll get nothing else out of me!"
"The real..boss.." Sailor Moon said. "You mean someone else is behind all this!"
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