Hey yo wuts up?!  I have some fucked up friends but they are all fucked up in a good way.  Here are some funny quotes that have been said in the last couple of years, most of them have come online. I have ran out of room on this page, so this one won't change at all, but check out Quotes 2! I will keep putting new quotes up on that one. Love you all!
Twon-u no where a great place is?
Me- where
Twon- the shower
Me-lol, yup
Twon-i wanna get laid in a shower
Me-but it sucks when u get out and ur freezing cold
Twon- that's why u stay in shower..and have illicit shower sex

Twon-we're so fucking racist
Me-lol, yeah
Twon- but pretty much only to spics
Me-lol, and polacks, but everyone is to polacks
Twon-even polakcs are so that don't count

MP:and my finger is swollen form playin too much bass
Me:sounds like fun
MP:yup. it hurts like a bitch. thats not stoppin me though, lol
Me: lol
MP:i love it too much
Me:but the pain dude the pain
MP: FUCK THE PAIN!!!listen to the bassful music!

me:Dude just talk to her, and bring her to my party[talking about this girl mikey likes]
Mikey:why the fuck do u want her to come
Me: cus i wanna see who mikey wants to go out with.
Dude its not like im gonna try to take her from u or anything, i mean i could but i wont. lol

Mr. Burns: Oh, theres a big one, its got freedom written all over it.
Mr. Smithers: Uh, sir, thats Cuba.

My mom: Kevin, are you up?
Me- I am now.
Mom-Well the phones for you, its some guy.
Me-what the hell?! since when do guys call me?

Mr. Merel- Kevin why do they always pick on you?
Me- I dont know. Probably cus they're jealous cus they're inferior to me.

At the Cubs game:
V-Oh my god the Cubs are actually winning.
(Literally not more than two seconds later Brian Giles hits a two run homer and the Pirates take the lead).

Me-Can I vote for me?
Twon- me would be me...twon. not u.
Me-no, me, not u, kevin

Ryan: damn dude all im sayin is she;s got a body and i wanna fuck the living hell outta her[talking about Jessica Biel] lol
Me: lol, dude, u r one horny fucking bastard, u need to chill out a little, ur like a little 12 year old who just jacked off for the first time
Ryan: shutup
Me: lol
Ryan: she mite have the greatest ass ever. its just so UGH! lol
Me: calm down dude, just go wack off and itll be over
Ryan: lol naw

Twon- u know what u need
Me- lol, wut
Twon- you need a lesbian or bi friend
Me- lol, y
Twon- it makes no difference til one point
u argue with her over which female celebrities are hotter

Twon- but ur dick is ur friend, isn't it?
Me-  lol! yeah, yes he is

due to the contents of this quote, i have decided to keep the names secret, to avoid this getting into the wrong hands and friends of mine getting in trouble.
Person A-dude, i cant wait till this weekend
Person B- getten laid?
Person A- YUP
...min later Person B- i like being right.

Me- u would be so short at lane
Rebecca- i'm tall and mighty
Me- no ur short and weaky

At Beabien's HS Fair, Me and V were there representing Lane, Rick was there for Jones, and Max was there for northside. we had just finished playing a game of JT or old times sake. V, the slowest and fattest person there won!
Me- (bending over trying to catch my breath) man i wish i was fat and slow.
Max-yeah, everyone always feels sorry for the fat people.
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