Kevo:)
<3
V and i at the cubs game, V looks up at the wind, blowing in towards home quite hard:
V: Won't be many homers today.
Me: I dunno. We have some power hitters on this team.
V: <Points to the flags blowing in>
Me: I dunno. We've got some power hitters.
Two seconds later, i swear to god two seconds later, Kerry Wood, our fuckin pitcher, hits a homerun!!! V shut up after that.
Nikki: I'm stupid!
Me: No you're not. You're just not an Einstein.
Nikki: I'm not even an i !!!
Bryce and I were talking about me having Fred's Mercury and Bryce eventually getting Fred's Ford:
Me: yeah, have fun with that little thing
Bryce: i will
Me: we can drag race
Bryce: no, u can drag race
Bryce: i'll drive the speed limit right behind you
One night while i was in Arizona on the mission trip with my church, , Bryce and i are waiting up for Dale to get into our room cus we need sleeping pills from him. so he comes in and after about 5 min of him looking through his stuff in the dar and clanking around and makin noises, he says, totally outloud so everyone could here him, including the pastors from the other churches:
Dale: Why did i bring so much alochol on this trip?
When V logs into his email, at the bottom where it shows that the site is loading and shit, the whole 50 character long address comes up, and theres this one word in there that says curmbox
V: everytime i look at that i think it says cum box
Me: oh v your minds in the gutter
V: yes my heads in the gutter, but its in a gutter of a high-class restaurant.
Me: ok bitch face
Heather: alright dumbwad cocksucker asswad asshole son of a bitch bitch face nasty smelly cunt smeller and teabagger.. ha, take that
Me: lol, i am a son of a bitch
Heather: me too.. except I am not a son...
Heather: damnit, nevermind
Background, heather was talkin about shooting people at school and she confused the fuck out of me, then she said she's just jokin about it all, heres the quote!
Heather: I have a question to ask you
Me: uh huh
Heather: is that funny enough to go on your quotes page?
Me: no
Heather: i just thought of that
Me: cus im still confused
Heather: why?
Me: i dont kno what just happened
Heather: I was joking
Me: see, now that might be funny enough on the quotes page
Little bit of background, denise is a girl who laughs at everything, no matter how funny, ie. if u yell "freak" to a player when you're at a football game, she'll start laughing her ass off. here, we were talkin about a guy she likes.
Denise: but he makes me laugh
Me: V makes u laugh, i make u laugh, but u dont wanna go out with us, hell denise a light post could make u laugh
Denise: hahahahahahaha!
Me: lol
Denise: its so true... :-(
Ok, heres the background for this one. Heather and her mom used to share a screenname, and i never could tell who is on unless i say something. so one night, i was so fucking bored hoping somone would come on to talk to, and i see their SN come on:
Me: thank god someone is finally onnnnnnnnn
Me: wait, please tell me its heather not mommy
her: nope it's mommy... Heather went to a movie with a friend tonight. she should be home shortly
Me: SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!
Me: ugh, alrighty, night
her: sorry
I dont find this too funny, cus it happened to me. but u all can laugh at me.
I exited out of the box before i could copy and paste so this isn't exactly what was said, but it's really really close.
Connie my cus: Did i tell you what happened?
Me: Uh, no.
Connie: the other day i was trying to do something and i accidentally deleted my whole buddy list. I had 40 people, now i have 24.
Me: lmao, ur so polish.
Connie: I thought you just said i was polish, like the stuff you spray.
Me: OMG you definitely are polish.