[Translation: Are You A Fast Talker?]
YES! "THE WORLD OF SOOSE" IS NOW A GEOCITIES FEATURED SITE, AS OF 5/19/97!
[Hi! This is SUE--"Soose's" creator. Soose has asked me to assist her in this month's column. Apparently, there is a language barrier with one of this month's guests. So, to help everyone understand what has been said by that guest, I have "agreed" to translate for him.]
[TRANSLATION: "HOW TO TALK RAPIDLY WITHOUT CATCHING YOUR BREATH"]
Zzzzzzz.......
HEY! WAKE UP!And now for NUMBER 123... "Grrrrrr.....Woof! Woof! Woof!"
....Huh?....Don't tell me.... RIN TIN TIN, right?
WRONG!! LASSIE!! UGH!!
Oh....(sigh!)
Now, guess who NUMBER 124 is......"YUP!"
Uuummmmmm......OH! Hi, everybody! Soose here! Well, as you recall from last month, Linda, here, managed to get rid of Sage and Hugo after a month-long battle over Sage being a guest. Remember? Well, (sigh!) now Linda has stayed the ENTIRE month of July "auditioning" for Lord knows who. I've been stuck here listening to her entire repertoire of voices--all 125 of them! She's hoping that she'll be "discovered" by some talent scout and will become famous. RIIIIIIGHT!
HEY! You didn't guess who NUMBER 124 was!
Oh, sorry.....
Forget it. It was Gary Cooper.
Great....
And NOW.....NUMBER 125!
Oh, boy! NUMBER 125! The last one! QUICK! What is it?
Uuummmm.....uuuuuuhh.....ooooops! I FORGOT! SHOOT! Hehehehe.... I guess I'm gonna hafta go through ALL of them again!
NO!! NOT THAT!!!
Oh, its no problem. REALLY!
NO! REALLY! 124 voices is quite all right!
No....I said that I did 125 voices, and that's EXACTLY what I'm gonna do!
PLEASE! No need to.....
Hey, there! Which one of you did the "voices"?
Don't look at ME! Complain to HER!
COMPLAIN?! Why, no! I'm J. Theodore Mudd--Talent Agent.
"Mudd".....figures.....
A talent scout?
More like a talent "piranha", if you ask ME....
YES! YOU did the "voices"?
YES! I'm LINDA!
GREAT! Well, Linda, baby, sweetheart....Have I got a deal for YOU!
OH BOY!
Ooooh, boy....Uuuummm....excuse me......
Not now, Soose.....
Now, Linda, baby. all I ask, is a measly 10%! How's THAT?
YAH, YAH, go on....
But, Linda,.....
Not NOW, Soose.....!
Come! Let's go elsewhere and discuss the details....
LINDA! Aren't you gonna continue to help me?
Oh,...maybe--if I have time....Carry on, Soose!
WAIT! What about Hugo and Sage?
Oh, they'll be released. BYE! Hey, Mr. Mudd! Tell me more about that deal!
HEY!!!
SLAM!
Excuseme,areyouSoose?MynameisJamie--I'mHugo'snephew.
[TRANSLATION: "Excuse me, are you Soose? My name is Jamie--I'm Hugo's nephew."]
Huh? What DID you say?
I'mJamie--Hugo'snephew,thedudewiththemost!
[Huh? What did he say? I don't get it. Oh, well....TRANSLATION: "I'm Jamie--Hugo's nephew, the dude with the most!" Dude? Most WHAT? Hmmmm.....]
Huh?
Hey, Soose! I see you've met my nephew, Jamie. You know, he's got his own homepage, THE LACE SHOW.
Oh? Your nephew.....? Is he from a foreign country or something? I can't understand him!
NO! He's not foreign--he's a TEENAGER! They ALL talk fast!
Yeah,likeI'minahurry--don'twannawastetimewithwords,yaknow?
[TRANSLATION: "Yeah, like I'm in a hurry--don't wanna waste time with words, ya know?"]
Oh,........HUH?
Hey,likethisisacooolpad.ReallyALL!KnowwhatImean?
[TRANSLATION: "Hey, like this is a coool pad. Really ALL! Know what I mean?" PAD? "All" WHAT? Now I don't understand!]
What did he say?
He says he likes it here.
[Not exactly....see above translation--if you can understand it....]
You sure he's not from another country?
TRUST ME! He's not.
[HA! I think he IS! "TRUST" Hugo? THAT'LL be the day!]
Hey, SUE! Cool it, will ya? You're SUPPOSE to be translatin'!
[Ok, ok, ok! Jeesh! Give these fictional characters some life, and they think they OWN the site!]
I don't understand his lingo!
HUH?"Lingo"?What'sTHATmean?Idon'tunderstand.....
[TRANSLATION: "HUH? 'Lingo'? What's THAT mean? I don't understand...."]
HUH?
Thissucks!
[TRANSLATION: "This sucks!" (?)]
HUGO! How do I communicate with this kid?
Don't ask ME! Ask your TRANSLATOR! That's why she's here!
[HEY! Watch it, Hugo! Or I'll write you OUT of this column!]
All, riiight....!
I'mNOTakid--I'm18yearsold!
Yeah, he IS rather "touchy" about that...
"Touchy" about WHAT? I can't understand him! SUE! You forgot to translate Jamie's last line!
[Zzzzzz....huh? OH! The last line.....TRANSLATION: "I'm NOT a kid--I'm 18 years old!"]
HUH?Ican'tunderstandher--she'stalkingtooSLOW!
[He's GOT to be kidding! Oh, well... TRANSLATION: "HUH? I can't understand her--she's talking too SLOW!"]
HOLD IT! Look, you two, I can't understand EITHER of you! All I'm hearin' outta you two is, "HUH?"! Soose, his words are runnin' together. All you hafta do is put SPACES in between the words!
WhataboutME?
[TRANSLATION: "What about ME?"]
All YOU hafta do is TAKE OUT the spaces! Now, MAYBE you two can NOW understand each other!
Ok....
Hel-lo,...Soose,...my...name...is...Jam-ie.
HUH?Gladtomeetyou,Jamie.Howdoyoulikemysite?
[WHAT?! THAT'S NOT SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN! TRANSLATION: "HUH? Glad to meet you, Jamie. How do you like my site?" Oh, brother....!]
HUGO!Ican'tstoptalkinglikethis!WhatamIgoingtodo?
[Oh, boy....here we go, AGAIN! TRANSLATION: "Hugo! I can't stop talking like this! What am I going to do?"]
And...what...about...ME? I...don't...want...to...talk...like...THIS...FOREVER!
HUGO!!!
Hehehehehe....
WhatamIgoingtodo?Myguests!Myreaders!Thiscolumn!Thissite!WELL???
[Oh, what a BABY! Come on! This is MY site--not SOOSE'S! UGH! TRANSLATION: "What am I going to do? My guests! My readers! This column! This site! Well?"]
Well....(ahem!)...you could ALWAYS be one of those AUCTIONEERS--you know, those fast talkin' guys who speak at auctions!
Oh,FINE!AUCTIONEERatanauction...great!SUE!QUICK!Canyousay "good-bye"toourreadersthismonth?PLEASE?
[Auctioneer...not a bad idea... TRANSLATION: "Oh, FINE! AUCTIONEER at an auction...great! SUE! QUICK! Can you say "good-bye" to our readers this month? PLEASE?" OH! She means ME! (ahem!) Well, as you can see, Soose is having another interesting month. (sigh!) So, on behalf of "Motor-Mouth"...uh,...SOOSE, this is SUE, saying "good-bye", and HOPEFULLY she'll see you next month!]
HUGO!YOU'REGONNAGETIT!!
[(sigh!) TRANSLATION: "HUGO! You're going to get it!!" I wish she wouldn't shout so much!]
And...what...about...ME? My...friends! What...will...THEY...think?
HUGO!!
HEY! Its been fun, but I gotta go, now. GeoCities is calling me.... BYE!
HUGO!!!!
SLAM!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
This page is dedicated to WEBTV, because if it hadn't been for WEBTV, I wouldn't be here tormenting you with this stuff, would I?
I want to say "hello" and thanks to Wrenn, Rare Bear, jc, and the Andresen Family for their assistance--"HELLO AND THANKS!"
ALSO, a VERY special "hello" and thanks to Linda, my "mentor" and "guardian angel", who is helping me make this site compatible not only for WEBTV users, but for pc users as well. If you "click" on her name, you can go to her award winning site. And boy! Is IT a site (30 pages)! She says that she needs the "hits" (or was that "needs to get hit"?)!
I would not be a "soose" if I did not recognize the wonderful talents that Pati of IACTA possesses. Thanks to Pati, that great looking "Soose Banner" that you can see at the top of this page is possible (and the "Soose Award", too!). Thank you Pati for all your time and effort that you put into BOTH items. And thank you to YOU Laura of IACTA for letting Pati display her talents for a "soose" ("sooses" are graphically impaired individuals)! No, I don't actually look like that little animated character!
THE NEXT INSTALLMENT WILL BE SOMETIME IN SEPTEMBER. SEE YOU THEN!
I Am A Proud Member Of: Phenomenal Women Of The Web
(Pretty neat, huh?)